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Five Questions Men Fear...
Posted 12/24/08 , edited 12/24/08
[HUMOR SECTION]
What makes these questions so difficult is that everyone is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below along with possible responses.



QUESTION #1: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been quiet dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

1. Football.

2. Sex.

3. How fat you are.

4. How much prettier she is than you.

5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.



Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, Who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"



QUESTION #2: DO YOU LOVE ME?

The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:

1. Oh Yeah, s*hit loads.

2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?

3. That depends on what you mean by love.

4. Does it matter?

5. Who? Me?



QUESTION #3: DO I LOOK FAT?

The correct answer is an emphatic:

"Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:

1. Compared to what?

2. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.

3. A little extra weight looks good on you.

4. I've seen fatter.

5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.



QUESTION #4: DO YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include:

1. Yes, but you have a better personality.

2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.

3. Not as pretty as you were when you were her age.

4. Define pretty.

5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.



QUESTION #5: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I DIED? A definite no-win question. The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and Boat". No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines:

Woman: Would you get married again?

Man: Definitely not!

Woman: Why not? Don't you like being married?

Man: Of course I do.

Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Man: Okay, I'd get married again.

Woman: You would? (WITH A HURTFUL LOOK ON HER FACE) Would you sleep with her in our bed?

Man: Where else would we sleep?

Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?

Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

Man: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

Woman: ---silence---

Man: s*hit.
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Posted 12/24/08 , edited 12/24/08
And?
I'm a man, I don't fear those questions.
I'd just take em on and give them the brute strength of truth.
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22 / F / Texas
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Posted 12/24/08
interesting?
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21 / M / UK
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Posted 12/24/08
lol Question 5...

The man screwed up
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30 / M / Melbourne
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Posted 12/24/08
da fuck? questions fail my threato meter.
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24 / M / O.C. So.Cal
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Posted 12/24/08
i'd slyly evade those questions with my charm and charisma
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27 / The Wired World
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Posted 12/24/08
the 1st 1 was easy

but the other's are a bit hard cuz the "right answer" is not to offend some1

but hell,i would just lie in all those situation for the greater good >.<
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23 / M / (Unknown)
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Posted 12/24/08
These would be my personal answers

A1. Games

A2. Depends on what you mean by love

A3. Compared to what?

A4. Define pretty

A5. I will forever moan for you......*quietly*..not.....
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27 / M / Look up.
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Posted 12/24/08
I'd ask them why they were asking me.
Posted 12/24/08 , edited 12/24/08
hooly shyt
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30 / M / Melbourne
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Posted 12/24/08

imanmoh wrote:

hooly shyt


in ur pants?
Posted 12/24/08

Kenshin1986 wrote:


imanmoh wrote:

hooly shyt


in ur pants?


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F / California
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Posted 12/24/08
Lol.
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69 / M / Limbo
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Posted 12/24/08
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
Food
DO YOU LOVE ME?
Fuck no.
DO I LOOK FAT?
your ass does, but I like that.
DO YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME?
Who that whore that just passed by, with the big ass titties? Nah...
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I DIED?
Look up that skank that we just passed.
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25 / M / Way of The Ninja...
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Posted 12/24/08
I am not sure whether to say sexist or just stupid questions.

So I will say what the heck was that pear thing?
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