Empathy, Sympathy... pity??
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24 / F / Leading your nigh...
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Posted 1/13/09
Didn't find a duplicate, but if there is one, then take whatever action is necessary.

Do you tend to find your self sympathizing with someone because of a common loss? Or do you show them pity (can be seen as similar to sympathy)? Does it annoy the hell out of you when someone keeps throwing out their problems just to gain your pity.

Sympathy is something that is usually taken lightly. People tend to give it to anyone who seems to be in dire need of attention without realizing that the person is just emotionally manipulating you for whatever they're reason is.

Then you've got empathy, to put yourself in someones position and feel what they are feeling. Doesn't it annoy you when someone say's 'I know' or 'I understand'. First off they don't, yet sometimes a person really puts themselves in your position and can truly see what it's like.

My questions are, when is Pity too much? when should it be given? when should it be received? Is there really such thing as empathizing, or do you believe a person says that they understand just to shut you up or placate you and soothe you. And is sympathy really needed?
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Posted 1/13/09 , edited 1/13/09
I think that pretty much everyone experiences a little bit of each of these from both sides at some point in their life. Personally I have trouble feeling concern for people I’ve never met. You cannot protect the world and I see no reason to worry myself raw about things I have no power over. The only thing you can do is to concern yourself with those people immediately around you.

I’m empathetic and sympathetic to those who seem sincere. I have no interest in martyrs. Attention whores are irritating to me. They’re deceptive and get people seriously concerned over nothing.

I do not think it is possible to understand what somebody is going through unless you’ve experience it personally. One example is that white people seem completely incapable of understanding where black people are coming from when discussing bigotry. Another example is that straight people can’t seem to comprehend how somebody could be gay. Skinny people don’t understand the emotional strain of being a fat American teenager…

Pity never hurts anything so I don't think it can go too far.
Posted 1/13/09
Pity is really worthless. We can never understand what someone goes through until we go through it ourselves. And what does feeling sad for someone do really? It's best to help them out than to sit there feeling sorry for them
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Posted 1/13/09
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Posted 1/13/09
Posted 1/13/09

AleeceNoTenshi wrote:

Didn't find a duplicate, but if there is one, then take whatever action is necessary.

Do you tend to find your self sympathizing with someone because of a common loss? Or do you show them pity (can be seen as similar to sympathy)? Does it annoy the hell out of you when someone keeps throwing out their problems just to gain your pity.

Sympathy is something that is usually taken lightly. People tend to give it to anyone who seems to be in dire need of attention without realizing that the person is just emotionally manipulating you for whatever they're reason is.

Then you've got empathy, to put yourself in someones position and feel what they are feeling. Doesn't it annoy you when someone say's 'I know' or 'I understand'. First off they don't, yet sometimes a person really puts themselves in your position and can truly see what it's like.

My questions are, when is Pity too much? when should it be given? when should it be received? Is there really such thing as empathizing, or do you believe a person says that they understand just to shut you up or placate you and soothe you. And is sympathy really needed?

First off, understand that the difference between empathy and sympathy is the position of rationality. A person that's rational can easily empathize other people by analyzing their situation with real facts and reasons. But a person that's irrational can only sympathize others by reacting exactly like the others emotionally.

IMO, I only pity those who can't be rational due to irreversible circumstances like mental illness, but I don't pity those who don't care about facts and reasoning, thereby being irrational.
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24 / F / Leading your nigh...
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Posted 1/14/09

DomFortress wrote:


AleeceNoTenshi wrote:

Didn't find a duplicate, but if there is one, then take whatever action is necessary.

Do you tend to find your self sympathizing with someone because of a common loss? Or do you show them pity (can be seen as similar to sympathy)? Does it annoy the hell out of you when someone keeps throwing out their problems just to gain your pity.

Sympathy is something that is usually taken lightly. People tend to give it to anyone who seems to be in dire need of attention without realizing that the person is just emotionally manipulating you for whatever they're reason is.

Then you've got empathy, to put yourself in someones position and feel what they are feeling. Doesn't it annoy you when someone say's 'I know' or 'I understand'. First off they don't, yet sometimes a person really puts themselves in your position and can truly see what it's like.

My questions are, when is Pity too much? when should it be given? when should it be received? Is there really such thing as empathizing, or do you believe a person says that they understand just to shut you up or placate you and soothe you. And is sympathy really needed?

First off, understand that the difference between empathy and sympathy is the position of rationality. A person that's rational can easily empathize other people by analyzing their situation with real facts and reasons. But a person that's irrational can only sympathize others by reacting exactly like the others emotionally.

IMO, I only pity those who can't be rational due to irreversible circumstances like mental illness, but I don't pity those who don't care about facts and reasoning, thereby being irrational.


That's pretty much what I said ^_^

I completly agree with you except for one point. I remember there was one girl was autistic, but she was still quite intelligent and was normal. I remember she became Valedictorian at our 8th grade grad, she said she hated the pity she received and hoped she wasn't chosen just because she was autistic (shocked a lot of us actually). Anyways, it's time like these that I respect the person and treat them like any old person, I respect their disability and they tend to like it more than when I give them pity.
Posted 1/14/09

AleeceNoTenshi wrote:


DomFortress wrote:


AleeceNoTenshi wrote:

Didn't find a duplicate, but if there is one, then take whatever action is necessary.

Do you tend to find your self sympathizing with someone because of a common loss? Or do you show them pity (can be seen as similar to sympathy)? Does it annoy the hell out of you when someone keeps throwing out their problems just to gain your pity.

Sympathy is something that is usually taken lightly. People tend to give it to anyone who seems to be in dire need of attention without realizing that the person is just emotionally manipulating you for whatever they're reason is.

Then you've got empathy, to put yourself in someones position and feel what they are feeling. Doesn't it annoy you when someone say's 'I know' or 'I understand'. First off they don't, yet sometimes a person really puts themselves in your position and can truly see what it's like.

My questions are, when is Pity too much? when should it be given? when should it be received? Is there really such thing as empathizing, or do you believe a person says that they understand just to shut you up or placate you and soothe you. And is sympathy really needed?

First off, understand that the difference between empathy and sympathy is the position of rationality. A person that's rational can easily empathize other people by analyzing their situation with real facts and reasons. But a person that's irrational can only sympathize others by reacting exactly like the others emotionally.

IMO, I only pity those who can't be rational due to irreversible circumstances like mental illness, but I don't pity those who don't care about facts and reasoning, thereby being irrational.


That's pretty much what I said ^_^

I completly agree with you except for one point. I remember there was one girl was autistic, but she was still quite intelligent and was normal. I remember she became Valedictorian at our 8th grade grad, she said she hated the pity she received and hoped she wasn't chosen just because she was autistic (shocked a lot of us actually). Anyways, it's time like these that I respect the person and treat them like any old person, I respect their disability and they tend to like it more than when I give them pity.

Ah! Now that's a hallmark of an intelligent individual. You know exactly what she wants from others is respect for her hard work, not pity for her shortcoming, which she worked so hard to overcome. That's true empathy, man. Good for you!
Posted 1/18/09
I don't like much when someone pity me , I mean I don't want someone pity me in the beginning anyway . But they just coming and talk to me to make me feel better , it's just the opposite .
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Posted 1/18/09

1201987 wrote:

I don't like much when someone pity me , I mean I don't want someone pity me in the beginning anyway . But they just coming and talk to me to make me feel better , it's just the opposite .


I know how you feel. When they start to talk to you and sit with you and try to comfort you but it has the opposite effect. It's a pretty common mistake, as humans, we just don't know when to back off.
Posted 1/18/09

1201987 wrote:

I don't like much when someone pity me , I mean I don't want someone pity me in the beginning anyway . But they just coming and talk to me to make me feel better , it's just the opposite .


AleeceNoTenshi wrote:


1201987 wrote:

.


I know how you feel. When they start to talk to you and sit with you and try to comfort you but it has the opposite effect. It's a pretty common mistake, as humans, we just don't know when to back off.

It looks like the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche was right when he said "pity makes suffering contagious".

Basically, without positive reinforcement, pity and self-pity alone will only make people to home-in on their negativity. Thus will only make them feel even worst about themselves.
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Posted 6/6/09
i think empathy and sympathy are needed emotions, pity not so much. i also think people should have more compassion, and not become rocks with no feeling.
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