Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys..you're a HOE)
- we call that one fascinatingly disgustingly arousing
--"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
- i don't stammer. i breathe heavily then hang up
--Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
- my beloved, my poison
--Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
- best bullshits ever told.
--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
- the way she wrinkles her nose and pouts also
--Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
- we're oblivious coz' it's cooler that way
--Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
- nobody wants the fact that they're second banana rubbed in their faces.
--A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
- monopoly's a board game and should stay that way
--Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
- depends on the bastard's ego
--Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
- we're cool with it as long as your guy friends are, most of the time though we prefer your guy friends to be gay then it's A-OK
--Guys get jealous easily.
- paranoids are just people with all the facts none of the truth
--Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
- i got teary eyed watching titanic so?
--Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
- doesn't everybody? it's applicable to all genders
--Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
- depends on the situation
--Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
- like my dad always says: your ass, your tissue
--Girls are guys' weaknesses.
- only if the girls are our type, then again there are plenty of sick pervs out there who don't discriminate on aspects such as age or species
--Guys are very open about themselves.
- how open are you talking about?
--It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
- zap him with a taser and kick him till he pees blood. if he comes back after agonizing therapy sessions and still madly in love with you then congratulations
--Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
- or end up being the concubine
--If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
- it's a sympathy act appealing to the florence nightingale syndrome lying dormant within you
--A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
- proves that sadism exists at an early age.
--Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
- depends on how crazy head over heels, whoop de doo in love we are
--Guys will brag about anything.
oh yeah anything is the greatest.
--Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
- hot is coffee, cute is a puppy and beautiful is a scenery but gee you're gosh darn intriguing.
--No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
- yup but even though you're a bitch we'll still think about your ass and boobs
--Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
- there's the internet to provide us with tons of porn and ebooks to test on you
--Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
- i don't mind being whipped as long as it doesn't involve stilletos, gags and chains.
--Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
- wait whu...?
--Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
- my friends are dirty bastards. you expect them to give sane advice?
--Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
- ask your local priest.
--Try to be as straightforward as possible.
- we're not psychics or sleuths able to decipher every twitch of your eyebrow.
--If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
- that is.. only if the girls is oh so cute..
--If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
- we're all nervous wrecks and good at hiding it.
--When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
- stalkers do..
--When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
- the game is on and i want my beer to be consumed in the cleansing glow of the telly.
--Guys don't really have final decisions.
- but we use lifelines: phone-a-friend and 50-50
--If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
or he's making shit up.
--If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
-or he's secretly gay and has the hots for your boyfriend
--When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
-we'll keep on saying it anyway coz' we'll always be 4th graders at heart.
--When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
- either that or you've offended his fashion sense.
--Guys like femininity not feebleness.
- the charming tomboy next door
--Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
- there are guys who get aroused being punched.
--A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
- like gonorrhea, venereal disease and herpes
--Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
- we won't give up spying on you behind the local plant life though
--Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
- coz' too much will make you look like a cheap county fair drag queen
--Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
- really...?
--Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
- men are dogs keep them on a leash, pet them, feed them and love them.
--If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.
- or suddenly show up at your doorstep drunk and menacing
--Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
coz' it's the natural order of things
--A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
nah.. but i'll give my left kidney
--No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
-even superman has kryptonite
--Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
- but we're all jackasses. it depends which jackass you ended up with
--We don't like girls who are too skinny.
-beautifully malnourished, i wanna hug her but she might break hahahaha
--We love it when girls talk about there boobs.
- mmm.. boobs
--Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like wheather it's a one time deal or not ....
- make sure he knows it too
--Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours...
-go for the nerds, they won't betray you
--When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
- that or he's known you since you were in diapers
--Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..
- especially the ones swimming in BBQ sauce
--Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...
- he's a big baby
--Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.
-it's like licking the phone line to see if it's live
--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
- why should i worry about my body when i'm to busy lusting after yours?
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