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Abused Men & Psycho Chicks
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30 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 5/8/07
If you wonder where the fuck this came from, it's just that I can't help but marvel at a certain group of male victims including some of my friends. While complaining about their violent psycho girlfriends 24/7 and I mean really non stop, they never seriously break up. Now we all heard about the vice versa case, but that's another thing.

So my friend xy will drop by and start: I broke up with her once and for all,she hit me on the head with a frying pan and actually pulled a knife at me while I was still dizzy...then the police came, they had to rescue me...

Me: Good thing you got rid of her. Sounds dangerous .

He: I feel so much better now that I'm free of Ms.Psycho .

Two weeks later they're back together. I stopped taking these guys serious now, that I can't help the feeling they actually want this drama, including the violence.

Another thing I noticed, men who got screwed over really bad by their ex will constantly want to talk about it. You tell them, that was four years ago, it's time you get over it. And they'll agree but at the same time beg for you to listen to every little detail of their humiliation. Not just friends, complete strangers as well.

So do you think these guys actually need to be abused in a relationship?
Do psycho chicks have something about them that I missed?
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31 / M / New York
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Posted 5/8/07
Psycho chick was probably excellent in bed.

That's the only reason I can think of in my mind to justify getting hit with a frying pan and stabbed.


I don't like psychos, but for some reason I do like the Tsudere type. The bitchy up front but sensitive inside kind of girl. No Psychos for me...hey maybe your friend is secretly into S&M?
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Posted 5/8/07
Who knows, who cares. Its their choice if they want to stay in a dismal relationship. All we can do is learn lessons from their foolishness.
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Posted 5/8/07
weird!the guys that i know are totally different,they draw a line very fast,if the chick is strange.but a lot of girls need drama in their life,a lot!at least that is what i experienced:girls who get cheated,beaten up,treated badly,..etc.but still stay with the guy,or at least the same kind of guys.
Posted 5/8/07
I guess those kinds of guys are just really really needy. I had a friend who was with this one for for around 5-6 years. They probably broke up around 15 times at least during that time frame. He supposedly cheated on her a few times, so did she. She also slashed open his signed football with a pair of scissors, kind of attacked him and a girl he was seeing during one of their 'off' periods and all kinds of stuff. All they did was bitch about each other (unfortunately i was usually the one hearing about it.) Still they spent a lot of time together.

Anyways, I think both the people have to have some kind of personal issues that need medical help to work out since they seem to enjoy the semi abusive relationships on some level.
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Posted 5/8/07
Oh for the love of sweet baby Jaysus! I just went through something of that effect last night. I don't know about the rest of you but psychiatry is not my chosen profession. I know how to listen, but for the love of all that is sacred and holy, I don't want to hear every bloody relationship that you have ever had constantly...

I have been in many jobs that require a little windshield psychology and have noticed this trend in many relationships. The most common reply is "I can change him/her" or "but I love him/her".

I'm not sure if it has to do with parental issues, or how they were treated in their formative years, but later on down the line they just seem to repeat they same kind of behavior. Either as the abuser, or the abused.

It is a marvel at what the human mind can cope with. Some one could kidnap you, and you could fall in love with them. Your mind will do anything not to break in a situation. Somehow the brains coping mechanism has been taken to a level of everyday dysfunction.

I spoke with a woman this weekend who is in her fifties. Her sister has been in an abusive marriage for twenty years. I mean severely abusive to the point that she has been rendered unconscious several times, been hospitalized several times, and whose husband has been thrown in jail repeatedly. They are still together, the wife still listens to her husbands strict instructions.

It has to be right up there with brain washing. It is the only thing that I can think of for a rational, thinking human being to put up with something that is clearly not ok.
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Posted 5/8/07
…Ya, there’s something with us… I stayed with a violent chick for weeks… Course, I was afraid of what she might do if I broke up with her… Na, actually I just don’t have the heart to hurt somebody’s feelings by breaking up with them….

Anyway, this is a hilarious thread. It’s the first time I’ve heard of a girl rant about how dramatic men are… I’ve heard, “Men are pervs” “Men are stupid” “Men are dogs” “We’re just plain better than men” and countless other manbasheries, but this is the first time I’ve come across this… Usually men are complaining about how chicks are dramatic…

Well, guys do that for various reasons.
1. Kinki greatness.
2. Some of em actually get turned on
3. Those emo bastards love the dramatic attention
4. Some of those sexist dudes just want to prove that relationship abuse goes both ways
5. It’s kinda cute when a chick is violent...
6. They don’t want to get shanked…
7. Frying pan to back of head=medical bills
8. Some of these chicks threaten to kill themselves. (In said situation I would say, “Go for it!” Cuz that’s just a ploy.)
9. They’re dumb…
10. They’re really, really dumb.

Simple enough… There may be a few other reasons but these are the only ones I can think of right away..
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Posted 5/8/07
>_< I can't remember the term at the moment but I once read about a cognitive "trap" we all have called.....sunk costs? escalation of commitment? (not sure)

It refers to the fact that once we make a decision, we find it very hard to reverse it, even if it becomes worse and worse and even if it is increasingly clear it was a bad one. This trap happens for example when people buy stock and fail to sell it as it keeps going down in value, or when people stay in bad relationships that cause nothing but pain and negative outcomes. We fall in this "trap" in part because we hope to make up for our past losses (the stock will go up, the relationship will get better) and partly because it is often hard to admit we made a mistake.

Please correct me if I'm using the term wrong. Thanks.
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30 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 5/8/07

ollie_p wrote:

It is a marvel at what the human mind can cope with. Some one could kidnap you, and you could fall in love with them. Your mind will do anything not to break in a situation. Somehow the brains coping mechanism has been taken to a level of everyday dysfunction.



It's called stockholm syndrome. But I guess that only happens if your kidnapper treats you kindly.
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29 / M / vegass
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Posted 5/8/07
psycho chicks huh. yea ive had my share of them. but not to THAT extent. i broke up with them, but in turn, theyve become some of my best freinds. after all, they know me best.

so i dont know. well personlly, no to abusive relationships. however, we all cant have that ideal one so eh. i guess as long as the guy likes being abused.
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Posted 5/8/07

mauz15 wrote:

>_< I can't remember the term at the moment but I once read about a cognitive "trap" we all have called.....sunk costs? escalation of commitment? (not sure)

It refers to the fact that once we make a decision, we find it very hard to reverse it, even if it becomes worse and worse and even if it is increasingly clear it was a bad one. This trap happens for example when people buy stock and fail to sell it as it keeps going down in value, or when people stay in bad relationships that cause nothing but pain and negative outcomes. We fall in this "trap" in part because we hope to make up for our past losses (the stock will go up, the relationship will get better) and partly because it is often hard to admit we made a mistake.

Please correct me if I'm using the term wrong. Thanks.


Yeah, that sounds reasonable, but what about the guys who already seperated from their violater long ago and still talk about them on every possible occasion?

@Seraph and Arano, I thought the other way around was more common, too, so I started this thread out of sheer amazement
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Posted 5/8/07
Yeah I know, that cognitive trap is only one of the reasons things like this occur.
Posted 5/8/07
I wish my gf would hit me more

Trevor (OP)
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30 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 5/8/07

SeraphAlford wrote:

…Ya, there’s something with us… I stayed with a violent chick for weeks… Course, I was afraid of what she might do if I broke up with her… Na, actually I just don’t have the heart to hurt somebody’s feelings by breaking up with them….

Well, guys do that for various reasons.
1. Kinki greatness.
2. Some of em actually get turned on
3. Those emo bastards love the dramatic attention
4. Some of those sexist dudes just want to prove that relationship abuse goes both ways
5. It’s kinda cute when a chick is violent...
6. They don’t want to get shanked…
7. Frying pan to back of head=medical bills
8. Some of these chicks threaten to kill themselves. (In said situation I would say, “Go for it!” Cuz that’s just a ploy.)
9. They’re dumb…
10. They’re really, really dumb.

Simple enough… There may be a few other reasons but these are the only ones I can think of right away..



I don't get your point 7. What kind of advantage is that?

8. Agreed. It's called something like "emotional blackmailing", at least in german that is...and should be considered a crime.
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26 / M / Island closest to...
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Posted 5/8/07

6. They don’t want to get shanked…

For some reason this made me laugh, the way you put it. Mauz is correct though, people dont really like throwing things away, even if it was the wrong choice at the start. I suppose you could put it as building a bridge over water, or building a bridge in the middle of the desert. Not that all of that makes much sense
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