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"Sweet Queen" By Rezzy64 |
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Okay, so while discussing some ideas I had with Yaidoll I was inspired to create this story. I can't guarantee how far I'll be able to take this, but I hope maybe I can keep this one going for a while... So I figured since I'm the Mod for Horror I should at least come up with a pretty decent Horror story. So yes, me and Yaidoll collaborated together and came up with a brand new nasty Monster. So I wanted to play around with this brand new monster in the bloodiest and nastiest way that I can try to come up with. So... I figured first I might try and make a preview first, and then work with the story more as I develop it better in my head. So I'll start with a preview or a sort of story spoiler and then add the actual first episode later when I have time to really put it up.
"Sweet Queen" Preview/Prologue ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** "Sir!!! Another murder has been discovered in a back alley. They think it's related to the other murders that have been appearing lately!" A man says as he runs into an office in a police station. The man looks pretty young and wearing a casual Business suit. "Is it really our same murderer? Was he killed exactly the same as the people in the other murders?" A man who was originally reading the paper sitting behind his desk in an office places down the paper and looks at the man with a worried curiosity. The man had a stubbly face and seemed to be middle aged and wore glasses. "Yes Detective! Exactly the same as the past few murders as well as the Pastry Massacre. The victim had bruising around his wrists and was completely decapitated." The young man had replied to the detective looking horrified. "The Pastry Massacre was quite a horrible scene... well so far we've only seen a few murders since the massacre of last week." The detective says as he grabs his coat and heads out the door of his office. The screen goes black and red writing appears on the screen that says "One week ago". Transition to a scene of a pastry shop with the name "Clead's Pastries" It looks okay from the outside but you can hear the sound of a commotion going on inside the shop. The sound of dishes breaking then you can hear the sound of a muffled no, and then the sound of a woman's scream is heard from the shop. The shop has a small window but you can't see much through it. Then suddenly a bloody hand smacks against the window and then slides down smearing the small window with blood. The scene then zooms in through the window and inside the building is a bloody mess. There is blood on the walls as well as a giant pool of blood all over the floor. In the middle of the room tables have been knocked over and there is a pile of dead bodies all of them are decapitated. A few bodies are else where around the building. Near all the dead bodies is a very young looking girl possibly around the age of 10 or 11. She has green eyes and blond hair that has been smeared with blood as well as spots and smears of blood all over her face. She is sitting in the pool of blood eating pastries off of a metal tray. Suddenly the door of the pastry shop is broken down and a bunch of police officers in riot gear run into the building with their guns cocked. The girl looks up at the officers with wide eyes while she holds a muffin in her mouth. The detective walks into the building and sees the girl. He tries to walk up to the girl carefully. "Hey there... listen... I'm not going to hurt you... I just want to make sure you're okay..." The detective says as he carefully walks up to her. The little girl then grabs the tray full of pastries and runs towards an open window and quickly crawls through it to escape. "Quick! I want you guys to go around to the other side of that building and get her! We need to make sure she's okay, plus she's our only lead to who the murderer is!" The detective yells. Some of the police men run outside. "Detective! She's gone, we can't find the little girl anywhere!" The detective hears through the radio. "Well keep looking for her she's bound to be here some where..." The detective responds back through the radio. "... What kind of person could do something like this...?" The detective thinks to himself. The scene transitions to urban streets. You see the little girl hiding in an alleyway still eating the pastries like as if she hasn't eaten in day's. Still with her being covered in blood. You then see a fairly good looking guy with brown hair and hazel eyes walk by with a very pretty girl next to him with black hair and blue eyes, as well as another guy with them who seems to be pretty buff with short blond hair and blue eyes. The three of them are all smiling and talking but their words can't be heard. The little girl see's them pass by the alley way and she spots the guy with brown hair and hazel eyes. As the three keep walking by, the little girl peeks from behind the corner and focuses on the one guy. "I think I like him... I'll begin to make him mine soon..." The little girl says softly to herself. She smiles as she says this, while still holding a pastry in her hand. Copyright 2009, Michael Reznick All rights reserved. |
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Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror!
+ the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! |
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next step wedding!
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yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol |
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next step wedding!
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Moderator
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yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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Moderator
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Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. |
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next step wedding!
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Moderator
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yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. lol Okay that sounds cool. Sorry to hear about your surgery, what happened, are you okay? |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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Moderator
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Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. lol Okay that sounds cool. Sorry to hear about your surgery, what happened, are you okay? Haha, np, it was on october, due to a car crash. but m ok, just a long recovery process. |
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next step wedding!
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Moderator
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yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. lol Okay that sounds cool. Sorry to hear about your surgery, what happened, are you okay? Haha, np, it was on october, due to a car crash. but m ok, just a long recovery process. Wow... You really are a bad driver aren't you? lol |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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Moderator
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Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. lol Okay that sounds cool. Sorry to hear about your surgery, what happened, are you okay? Haha, np, it was on october, due to a car crash. but m ok, just a long recovery process. Wow... You really are a bad driver aren't you? lol Hahah, actually, m a good driver... it wasn't my fault... it was some other idiots who weren't paying attention to the road. |
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next step wedding!
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Moderator
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yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. lol Okay that sounds cool. Sorry to hear about your surgery, what happened, are you okay? Haha, np, it was on october, due to a car crash. but m ok, just a long recovery process. Wow... You really are a bad driver aren't you? lol Hahah, actually, m a good driver... it wasn't my fault... it was some other idiots who weren't paying attention to the road. Wow... That's pretty lame.You should of shot the guy in the face with a gun. O_O |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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Moderator
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Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Hey, wow, u really took it deeper then we talked about, that's great, I can see it will develop in to a great horror! + the descriptions of the sceenes added an extra touch to it. Great job Rezzy and let me know if u need anything, I'll b more than happy to help! Sweet, well I do consider you being the co-creator, so pm me if you got some ideas or concepts. :D All right, thank u so much, I will if I get some ideas... most likely eventually I will, but right now the only thing I have in my head are psych consepts! lol lol Well feel free to draw up the characters if you want, cause I suck at drawing. That would be kind of cool so that People (as well as me) can get a better perspective on the characters. You don't have to if you don't want to though. Awwww, I want to but... I can't right now, had a serious eye serjury and my stupid doc doesn't allow me to do any drawing yet.... it sucks so much! But I will as soon as he gives me the green light. lol Okay that sounds cool. Sorry to hear about your surgery, what happened, are you okay? Haha, np, it was on october, due to a car crash. but m ok, just a long recovery process. Wow... You really are a bad driver aren't you? lol Hahah, actually, m a good driver... it wasn't my fault... it was some other idiots who weren't paying attention to the road. Wow... That's pretty lame.You should of shot the guy in the face with a gun. O_O Nope, I should have cut his head, if only I could have been able to get out of my car, but was sandwished between 4 others. |
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next step wedding!
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Moderator
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yaidoll wrote: Nope, I should have cut his head, if only I could have been able to get out of my car, but was sandwished between 4 others. Okay so anyways back to my story which I'm currently writing, I set it up so that this part I wrote first is in fact the prologue. So it's important to read that. You like how messy and bloody I made the beginning? |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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Moderator
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Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Nope, I should have cut his head, if only I could have been able to get out of my car, but was sandwished between 4 others. Okay so anyways back to my story which I'm currently writing, I set it up so that this part I wrote first is in fact the prologue. So it's important to read that. You like how messy and bloody I made the beginning? :D yeap, the mess and blood r a key factor... so yea, I liked it a lot, the fact that there was a lot of it and descriptions of the setting made it even better. |
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next step wedding!
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Moderator
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yaidoll wrote: Rezzy64 wrote: yaidoll wrote: Nope, I should have cut his head, if only I could have been able to get out of my car, but was sandwished between 4 others. Okay so anyways back to my story which I'm currently writing, I set it up so that this part I wrote first is in fact the prologue. So it's important to read that. You like how messy and bloody I made the beginning? :D yeap, the mess and blood r a key factor... so yea, I liked it a lot, the fact that there was a lot of it and descriptions of the setting made it even better. Yay!!! I feel so happy about my bloody nasty mess! |
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Don't you dare send me a friend request unless you've read one of my pages.
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