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Post Reply Fallen Man's Deal
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Posted 2/15/09 , edited 2/15/09
Prologue02:If we were champions...


Before the many years after it, there was in the year 3469, the first genocide of all humans. And during that, many have kept their ideals to each themselves, and either stood, or stood and soon after, fall. During the beginning of the many months, and the few years that the Earthen people view their feet touch the surface of their only world for a last moment, while others take steps, and these steps kept the homo sapien people alive. Their steps moved them onto beasts of their creation, which they called Altbions. These large machines, which compared to the technology present(as in the current century that Chapter01 and the following chapters take place in.) would be noted as crude, though their time of use was essential to the cause of survival, eventually becoming the base of human spacial advancement. They took the shape of a large jagged object, taking several hundred kilometers of space in length.
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Posted 2/21/09

Coglock wrote:


atelier7 wrote:


Coglock wrote:


atelier7 wrote:

well, well, well. first, I'd have to commend you for the organization. It really gives that sci-fi feel. Also, I can expect your story to be good if your ideas are arranged already. You might want to make your terms catchier, and, if possible, layered with meaning. :)


Thanks. When I can focus on the terms a bit more, I'll go do that. Though, it's not the term that makes the story.


Little details are really important. :)


Yes, I agree, but I have the opinion that I should work on the story first.


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Posted 2/21/09

Coglock wrote:


atelier7 wrote:


Coglock wrote:


atelier7 wrote:

well, well, well. first, I'd have to commend you for the organization. It really gives that sci-fi feel. Also, I can expect your story to be good if your ideas are arranged already. You might want to make your terms catchier, and, if possible, layered with meaning. :)


Thanks. When I can focus on the terms a bit more, I'll go do that. Though, it's not the term that makes the story.


Little details are really important. :)


Yes, I agree, but I have the opinion that I should work on the story first.


i did say you might just want to. XD
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Posted 2/21/09

Coglock wrote:

Prologue02:If we were champions...


Before the many years after it, there was in the year 3469, the first genocide of all humans. And during that, many have kept their ideals to each themselves, and either stood, or stood and soon after, fall. During the beginning of the many months, and the few years that the Earthen people view their feet touch the surface of their only world for a last moment, while others take steps, and these steps kept the homo sapien people alive. Their steps moved them onto beasts of their creation, which they called Altbions. These large machines, which compared to the technology present(as in the current century that Chapter01 and the following chapters take place in.) would be noted as crude, though their time of use was essential to the cause of survival, eventually becoming the base of human spacial advancement. They took the shape of a large jagged object, taking several hundred kilometers of space in length.


waiting for a more detailed explanation on those Altbions.
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