Post Reply (no title yet...)story from supersweet11
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21 / F / Always close to t...
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Posted 2/14/09 , edited 2/14/09
WARNING: IF U DON'T LIKE FANTASY STORIES GET OUT OF THIS PAGE RIGHT NOW
NOTE:don't forget to leave comments. Have fun reading and don't mind the bad grammar...
P.S: i REALLY need a title so help me out.(i'm new to this thing )
Story from supersweet11
Posted 2/14/09
You sound like u have a good idea around, though u just have to develop it a little more in my opinion. Good plot, wish it would have a slower pase and for the chapters to be longer. But good for your first try!
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21 / F / Always close to t...
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Posted 2/14/09
thx!!! i'll do my best 2 improve myself. BTW can anyone give me a title 4 this story?
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29 / M
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Posted 2/15/09
la-di-dup-dee-dum. this is way too much fantasy. not that i hate it, but there's nothing particularly unique about your story. speaking of cliches, you have an amnesiac with a flame power. and crystals and arrogant organizations (and a first encounter inside a bar). you could do with some innovation; it is, after all, a fantasy. Anything can happen (within reason, of course).
dere-pichi-badum-bari-garum. you write off events too quickly. expound more, give more details, since the story sounds like a wikipedia article for what should be your story. :)
the dialogue could have also been done better. :)
so there, improve.
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21 / F / Always close to t...
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Posted 2/20/09 , edited 4/10/09
CH 10!!! I tried to improve it but like i said i'm new to this and there are probably a lot of grammer mistakes...anyway enjoy...
P.S someone pls give me a title for this story pls pls pls.

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