First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
Post Reply angelmew's quotes
Moderator
3363 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 2/17/09 , edited 4/4/09
I didn't write this, but it's pretty funny.

Praise be for ONE smart judge!!!

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!" The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.
Moderator
14744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
Offline
Posted 2/19/09
Read read read this good lol
Member
2697 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / at the computer
Offline
Posted 3/3/09 , edited 3/3/09
I love it. I absolutely love it. Nice research. Can you send me the website? If you can't, that's fine. God really does have a sense of humor after all.
Moderator
3363 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 3/4/09

clearwateralchemist wrote:

I love it. I absolutely love it. Nice research. Can you send me the website? If you can't, that's fine. God really does have a sense of humor after all.


Oh, my mom sends me these emails, but I'll ask her where her friends get this, I'll get it.
Moderator
10834 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
Offline
Posted 3/7/09
Nice! Now that is a smart judge. That is a great comeback.
Member
2697 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / at the computer
Offline
Posted 3/13/09
I researched it a bit, and it turns out there is no actual court case for it. It's still funny awesome though.
Moderator
14744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
Offline
Posted 4/3/09
The One Flaw In Woman



By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only two hands.'

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
'Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish.'

'But I won't, ' the Lord protested.
'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days.'

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'
'She is soft,' the Lord agreed,
'but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'

'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.
The Lord replied,
'Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate.'

The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'

'That's not a leak,'
the Lord corrected,
'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.

The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed.
'You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing.'

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take 'no' for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family m em ber,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY

FORGET THEIR WORTH.



Moderator
14744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
Offline
Posted 4/3/09

Beautiful Explanation of Death


~DEATH~
WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT..

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to

Leave the examination room and said,

'Doctor, I am afraid to die.

Tell me what lies on the other side.'

Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.'

'You don't know? You, a Christian man,

Do not know what is on the other side?'


The doctor was holding the handle of the door;

On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,

And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room

And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said,

'Did you notice my dog?

He's never been in this room before.

He didn't know what was inside.

He knew nothing except that his master was here,

And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death,

But I do know one thing...


I know my Master is there and that is enough.'


Moderator
14744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
Offline
Posted 4/3/09

Eight Gifts You Can Give at No Cost
===================================

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response. Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and
handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you
have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny MountainWings stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime
and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super
job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better
than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times,
and give the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to
someone, really it's not that hard to say, "Hello" or "Thank You."


~Author Unknown~


Moderator
5694 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 4/4/09
Hahaha there's some good stuff up here! If you need a good clean laugh read it!
Moderator
3363 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 4/4/09
Hahaha!~ I got another one!!!!

There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest ... perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize?

The King chose the second picture.

Do you know why?

"Because," explained the King, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

John 16:33 (NLT) "I have told you all this so that you may have 'peace' in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
Moderator
14744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
Offline
Posted 4/5/09 , edited 4/5/09
mature kids
This may make you think!

Why do we sleep in church,
but when the cerimony is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God,
but so easy to talk about sex?
Why are we so bored when we look at a Christian magazine,
but find it easy to read Playboy?
Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly myspace message,
Yet we repost the nasty ones?
Why are churches getting smaller,
But bars and clubs are growing?
Think about it, are you going to repost this?
Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at?
Just remember God is always watching you.




The Lord said:
"If you deny me in front of your friends,
I will deny you in front of my father

It's amazing I found this at Youtube.com on my fave profile. ^///^


Moderator
14744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
Offline
Posted 4/5/09

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning Pastor," he replied , still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?" The pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"


Member
4303 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / F / earth... o.0
Offline
Posted 4/8/09
lol lots of good stuffs here.. let's keep posting! ^_^
Moderator
3363 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 4/9/09 , edited 4/9/09
Will Do! Here's one other.

THE CROSS WALK
























Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot

Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love.
May God fill your day with blessings!!
First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.