the mensa invitational
Posted 2/17/09 , edited 2/17/09
this is simply a break off of tribalwar
here is the original post

Mensa Invitational

Here are the winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. .Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. .To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n.The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism,n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.Circumvent,n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

now post your own...ill post mine when i think of some
Posted 2/17/09
POKEMON .........
Posted 2/17/09
Mensa is for faggots.
Really no point to the organization except to show off what useless shit it's members can do.
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25 / M / Terra
Posted 2/17/09
the heck is this?... a group of morons making slags?!
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Posted 2/18/09
wtf ._.
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31 / F / Singapore
Posted 2/18/09
Posted 2/18/09
^random post

what do i have to post?
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77 / M
Posted 2/18/09
I hate MENSA simply because it's a group of elitist bastards (keep in mind there's a difference between elitist and elite) who would rather flaunt their MENSA membership than to understand the meaning of humility. I admire complete dumbasses who devote their lives to helping people rather than MENSA members who don't do jack shit because they think those jobs are beneath them.

Am I generalizing? Yes. Are all Mensa members like what I state? Probably not. Are most Mensa members like what I state? Yes.

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M / ふぃりぴん!
Posted 2/18/09
I thought Mensa was for the uber bright people?
But dang! Those words made me lmao.
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26 / M / Cavite, Philippines
Posted 2/18/09
Ah so those are the Mensa's... It a good thing my father didn't pursue his plan of me taking the test and being one of its members...
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31 / M / Denmark
Posted 2/18/09
Sadly this thread contained a lot of the same misconceptions as is generally encountered . A couple of remarks:

1) The list(s) of words were obviously not meant seriously but rather a funny word puzzle for people to work with... thus if it made you "LYAO" (Laugh Your Ass Off) you experienced the feeling the words were meant to invoke. Even "smart" people can have fun.
2) To my experience people who "hate" mensans often haven't ever met a mensan, thus having no basis on which to build their points of views. Rather the hate often seem to stem from a feeling of inadequacy and lack of confidence temporarily solved by projecting your self loathing onto those who you perceive as (acting) superior to you. It's all caused by the feeling of inferiority (which might or might not be right). The funny thing is that by lacking confidence you might actually share more with most mensans than you care to admit...
3) Misunderstandings between "intelligent" and "regular" people (in lack of better terms) is further bolstered by the inability to socialize amongst each other. Studies show that people generally socialize better with other people who have an IQ around their own level... this also means that mensans tend to be isolated in the general population and become loners and/or eccentrics who might often be perceived as being arrogant while they might actually "only" be incabable of working in an ordinary social context (on another note: Surely arrogance is a defence mechanism - what else would it be?). The purpose of Mensa is thus not to show off in front of the world and brag about your intelligence (when it comes down to it it's your actions that matters anyway) but rather to provide a safe haven where those who have been used to being misunderstood can meet and talk with people who think in their own way; a place of tolerance and social networking. (Not to be misunderstood though; Mensans have tons of fun when together)

Hope this helped clarify some things for those of you who had not yet considered them yourselves :). Don't be too quick to pass judgement on those you don't understand and remember to reflect upon both your own feelings and those of others (...and yeah, if you're wondering, I'm a Mensan although I'm considering to quit; haven't really got as much trouble socializing as most Mensans and wonder whether my money would be better spent elsewhere).

Any more questions? Feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer for the sake of spreading a little more understanding amongst people and removing a little hate and prejudism. Let's have a decent discussion instead of throwing rocks at those who seem different.... the latter is too medieval
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