First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
Family
1186 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / F / A hick town.....
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
Hey, hey <3

Alright so i just want to know what you people think about family things ^_^

1. What is better. Big(8-13ppl), med.(5-7ppl), or small (Any less then5) and why?
2. single, re-married, or still together parents, and of course why?
3. Disipline, punishment, or consequences, why and witch one? (And yes, they are different)
4. Standards, what are yours?

And any thing else you wanna say about families, maybe about your own or soemone elses.

enjoy, and i know i will enjoy reading the responses
149563 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / M / Aboard the Hyperion
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
Small is enough. You get to spend more time with each individual.
Still together parent. Like I said, it's much more meaningful to have a complete set and you get to spend time on learning experiences you don't normally get from other family members.
Disciplinewise, first mistake warning with explanation. 2nd mistake of the same offense, some sort of punishment but not too harsh. But the important things is the explanation.
Standards? Quite vague what you're asking but I'll try my best to sum up what I think. Not too restrictive, but not too liberating.
14215 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / I wonder...
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
1. i think a big family is good as long as there is a big house b/c lots of family can be helpful and loving.
2.still together
3. disipline?
4. standards?
57774 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / canada
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
What!!! I qualify as a medium size family....oh! oh wait...reread...8 people, not just children...okay you redeemed yourself

I'll start! bigger is better!...Everyone i know with more than 4 children is very happy with all the siblings, and wouldn't change it for the world.
2. my parents were divorced when i was very young (not yet born), and it created all sorts of problems for my mom and i...she remarried and has been with her 'new' husband for 30 years now...no sign of stopping! I've been with Ian for 11 yrs now...when we had problems, we worked them out...and now we are very happy!

3. I like consequences, i think that is the best way to teach a child appropriate behaviour...although sometimes the consequences can be unpleasant *cough*

4. My standards for myself and my children are pretty high...i have a lot of little girls, and i think the best way for them to avoid a LOT of problems when they get older (for me and them) is to teach them from birth that they have value and worth just the way they are, and that they have the right to treat their body with respect (ie: drugs immodesty, sex, smoking, drinking, etc)

okay...i'll get off my soapbox now...but be warned...i can haul it out on a moment's notice!

*edit---whoa...i wrote an essay (and i kept it short, too)
6347 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / SDF-1
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
I live in a house with 15 people. Let's me say its not fun. Lucky for me I have my room for myself because I use it as a office too.
8844 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / ಌNYC, the BIG APPLEಌ
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
1.i'll say less than 5, because more than 5 is too crowded, and in the future, i would love to keep a simple family...
2. still together couple.. because single and remarried is not like a family, long relationship make a good family..
3. consequences and decipline, more behavior and i think my future childs should have a correct way of learning instead using punishment..
4. family type
698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
30 / M / Bristol
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
1. personnally i prefer smaller familys, as i grew up in a big one and i find its easy to annoy each other

2. i cant answer that cause my blood father had a tendency to get violent towards me when i was small, so i cant really choose whether a family should stay togeather

3. i think its okay to punish if the situation calls for it, but to be honest i think when raising a family u'll need the right dosage of all 3 Disipline, punishment, and consequences because it will generally help teach them how to cope in the real world

but of course im going on my ideal's of how a family should be, cause to be honest there's nothing normal about my family what so ever.....
1186 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / F / A hick town.....
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
1. Well i havebig family...10 people, my house isnice size, but the messyness cnbe sorta frustraiting at times. eah we fight often, and my mom is busy, allt he freakign time, but i just like my bigger family, lots of experiences, good times, inside jokes, and social skills Haha.

2. my parents have been married for i think 25 or 26 years now, an still love eachother very much,it is soooooo cute Haha. And becus they love each otehr, it teaches us that we should love the people we marry. Yeah my parents have disigrements....but dont every one =\.....what matters is they work things out, and still go through every thing and help eachother =D. Now, if you are in a situation where you need to sepeate, then by all means do it (Eg Addictions, abuse, ect). But geng re-married is a good idea also, cuz then yor kids still have that other role mdle that possibly, just one couldnt be =D

3. I think you should let consequences take over, but soemtiems consequences arnt effective enough so you maylp it push a long, or come up with some consequences thgo a long with what they did wrong, and then ifthey still dont listen, after every thing you did to help them understand, a spanking, or something of that manner (Depending on the age), but after you have to explain why, andlet them know you still love them, but tell them they did was wrong, and say nexttime listen to me kinda sorta thing

4. Fallow any religouse beliefes we mayhave, be modest, dont break the law, no swearing, drugs alchahole ect Ummm yea and listen to us parents =D
623 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / F / North Carolina
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
I'm going to respond to your topics as they relate to me, simply because that's what I know and can explain.

1. What is better. Big(8-13ppl), med.(5-7ppl), or small (Any less then5) and why?
Small, intimate. My family used to be 5 (brother, sister, me, mom, dad) but circumstances changed. Small family settings are nice, generally less stressful and OMG HECTIC as some of the big families I know.

2. single, re-married, or still together parents, and of course why?
*Better* here is not really the word I want to use. My parents are divorced and my mother has since gotten in a serious relationship, but she isn't remarried. The divorce really bothered me, and bothers me, but the reasons leading up to it are pretty... well, alcoholism, abuse, money issues, stuff that had to lead to divorce.

3. Disipline, punishment, or consequences, why and witch one? (And yes, they are different)

I remember getting whipped when I was a kid, although it only happened once or twice because I was a good kid. O:) On the other hand, there was also a lot, LOT of yelling and I have bad memories from that kind of thing. I think consequences tend to work best... punishment just leaves bad imprinting on kids, and discipline is too.. I dunno.

4. Standards, what are yours?
For what, families? There can't really be standards. Family is family, no matter what. Sometimes I wish that I could just go ahead and forget that my father is my father--I don't see him often anyway--but there's NO WAY I can change that.

The nice little image of the American nuclear family is, under most circumstances, completely unrealistic.

3785 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Spencer,Iowa 51301
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
Umm Medium and parents are still together.
3334 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
30 / M / San Diego
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
1) Small family, get to spend more time together and I guess helps with overpopulation and erm...
2) Still together parents, shows the parents love each other and they can support each other
3) Discipline. Learn mistakes before they happen to you. Not too strict though x.x
4) pretty stable life, I consider my sister my closest friend. I get along well with my mom. Mutual agreement with my dad. My uncles, aunts, grandparents, and cousins all live within a 2 hr radius from my house (except for 1 of my cousins). We get to see each other quite often, and we all get along.
1155 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Ph
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
Wooow, i've got a big family dude!... Aaaaam, as usual, parenrts, sibling, etc,,,!.... Hehehe!....
5943 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
58 / F / Melbourne
Offline
Posted 5/10/07

This is what works for my family:

1. Small. 2 kids. Parents can do more for 1 2 or 3 kids than they can for a whole tribe, both financially and in terms of being there and time.
2. I am divorced. Getting my children out of that terrible environment was the best thing I could have done for all of us.
3. You need a variety of strategies when parenting, not the same thing all the time. There are times when punishment (time out or a smack) are appropriate, times when you have to leave them to suffer the consequences of their actions and times when other forms of discipline are appropriate (eg encouraging empathy with others by rational explanation, discussion of behaviour). If you used the same thing all the time, it would cease to be effective.
4. Too broad a topic. What type of standards? In general we follow family first, live and let live, and do as you would be done by. If I had to sum it up in one word I would say "respect".
3399 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / F / singapore
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
haha

small...
together...it's more stable that way.
i dun really see the difference. so ya.
standards??
28729 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M
Offline
Posted 5/10/07
"1. What is better. Big(8-13ppl), med.(5-7ppl), or small (Any less then5) and why?"
'Small. Financially and emotionally it would be too stressful to maintain that large of a mob.

"2. single, re-married, or still together parents, and of course why?"
Thats totally dependant on the parent. My dad is doing just fine by himself, as well as when my mom was here. Actually we're all doing better... But together in a balanced role is best I guess.

"3. Disipline, punishment, or consequences, why and witch one?"
Just one?

"4. Standards, what are yours?
Family before anything.
First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.