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Post Reply post some poems you have written
Otaku
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~The World~
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Posted 1/6/08

Revrebrent wrote:

Truth of Why

If to live is to cry
And die is to make others cry
What is the point of being born
Your family dies you begin to cry
Others leave one by one as new ones come
Each one crying while they carry thier burden
Then one gives up and dies
Thier burden dosn't dissapear
Its mearly carred on by someone else
This cycle goes on for as long as life
Each new member shall cry
Take on the burden of those past
And give thiers to the next
I can see why we always cry
Why the pain builds
And understand why we die


that poem sure makes you think ! I'll have a tear jerker one for you!
Otaku
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Posted 1/6/08
ok try
Otaku
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Posted 1/6/08
Lol i think this thread is bring poets together
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08

Yunneko wrote:


Revrebrent wrote:

Truth of Why

If to live is to cry
And die is to make others cry
What is the point of being born
Your family dies you begin to cry
Others leave one by one as new ones come
Each one crying while they carry thier burden
Then one gives up and dies
Thier burden dosn't dissapear
Its mearly carred on by someone else
This cycle goes on for as long as life
Each new member shall cry
Take on the burden of those past
And give thiers to the next
I can see why we always cry
Why the pain builds
And understand why we die



Way of Living

It's not just about the sadnnes we carry
It's the memories we wary
We were born so we can be part of other's lives
so that when our time to leave arrives..
Know that we learned new things
And enjoyed our time.
If we carry a burden
it's 4 us to get rid of it
By fullfiling our wishes
and addmitting our sins...




Trueth of living

Why we live
Is why we die
The burden builds with evry sarrowed death
The burden wains with every true life
To carry the burden is why we are born
To lessen it is why we live
To pass it on is why we die
Each time we must learn why
Each new life seaches for the same answer
With each life we grow smarter
With each death we entrust our burden to those we raised
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08
i totally dun understand what any of yuor poems mean Revrebrent
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08
T-T owww
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08
I totally suck at poetry. Which is a curse since I enjoy reading them. Plus, I'm lazy. Incredibly friggin lazy. The only time I've ever written a poem is when I was in love (it has to happen sometime) and going out with a girl in college for over a year. Even then, it took me a few months, which isn't impressive. You'll note the Christian themes are very apparent. Enjoy:

To my Princess, my dear Beloved,
Wherever you may be
Know this: I love you and I always will for all eternity

I pray my words arouse and please you,
As I have righteousness kissing peace in romance.
So let it light a fire of burning desire within you like Eros's dart,
Because this is the poem of my heart,
Which longs for you while we are apart,
Wishing for the day you take my hand at our wedding and say "I do."

Until we are together again, warm and comfortable in each other's arms,
While the cold storm in your life picks up and it gets hard,
Hear my words, my Bride, and know I am not far,
That with a word, I'll come to you wherever you are,
I'll travel like the Magi and reach you, my morning star,
Because I am the knight of chivalry, and I will go and fight to set you free,
As long as I live, you will see, that I will cross the seven seas, to be at your side.

In this battlefield where souls are broken and tried,
What we need are men who desire life like water yet drink death like wine,
Those with hearts of stone turned to hearts of gold,
Whose touch is warmth when once was cold,
With scarlet sins made as white as snow,
Transforming into a wellspring of life in which blessings flow.

Know this! My heart is yours... For you are the only one that I adore.

In this fairy land of magic and mystery,
there lies a serpent with a special hatred, for the one I love, the daughter of Eve,
whom I battle with a rage, for he dared to touch her perfect face,
and wounded her repeatedly in the same place,
with an evil sneer as I enter my Master's armory.

For he wreaks destruction on the glory of the Lord in the earth like a psychopath,
and as I put on my armor of light, I know he is committed to destroying great works of art with such a wrath,
that my sword glitters as I fight for your life,
against the one who tell you lies and stabs you with his crooked knife,
who hates me since I want to set you free, but most of all, in his pride and jealousy,
above drenching the heavens in crimson blood and cursing the entire world in an endless suicidal flood,
he hates you, for you are the incarnation of the Beauty of God.

My dear princess, have you never known, that the princes of evil fear you, for the power that you hold?
For you are a threat to their kingdom of darkness which they cannot bear to stand,
I will not keep silent, I will not remain quiet with your destruction at hand,
he shall lose, however far hope may be, for behold the dayspring of joy and liberty within us seven fold.

By my blood and scars that I will shed and take,
you shall see a glimpse of your worth for Heaven's sake,
For this tale will have an end and the battle will one day be done,
And whatever the future may hold, we must not waste time before it's all gone
Together, forever, just you and me, hun
After smearing each other with our wedding cake. Sounds like fun ^__^

I know it will be a whirlwind, that I will be cut deep within my soul.
For no good and holy knight ends his quest without a terrible story to be told.
You will see what you mean to me and know who I truly am and what I strive to be,
And then you will see what I see,
Love of my life, Behold! look at the mirror and don't blink,
and you'll see, Beautiful, as the pieces become whole, that you are more than what you think.
Posted 1/7/08
I haven't written a serious poem in ages...I don't really have the time to think of something now. Maybe in 5-6 months.
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08
nice poems MazzaVD. you shoulda had them better divided though. was hard to determin where one ended and the next began
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08
nice poem. I don't realy feel much emotion in it though. it didn't have a strong enough charecter. I think thats what it is missing. and only you can bring it to life.
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08

Yunneko wrote:

Here's one 4 all my new friends..


This day has gone so quickly
and I'm sad it's almost ending.
but now I'm not afraid
to wake up in another day
Cause the friendships I've made
aer always there to lighten my day.
If I'm depressed
they come and help me
If I'm obsessed
they let me be...



it has no title though.. I kinda feel like something its missing. But I'm pretty sure I don't know what more to put on it.



Is really good
You rocks
Otaku
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Posted 1/7/08
spoken like a true poet
Otaku
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Everywhere.
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Posted 1/8/08

Revrebrent wrote:

nice poems MazzaVD. you shoulda had them better divided though. was hard to determin where one ended and the next began


Thank you Revrebrent for complimenting my poem, but I'd rather pretend you didn't because of your criticism. What was 'nice' in it that made you look down on the only real merit it holds? I disagree with you. My poem is, indeed, well structured.

Also: Poem. No plural. Only one. I've done many other ones but I throw them out since it's nothing worth keeping. My writings tend to degenerate into two things when I ATTEMPT poetry. The first is prose. If every word does not click in such a way that it is impossible for it to click in any other way, then it is a weak line, a general sentence, like this one here. I enjoy PbP role playing and my post are usually a page long of describing what and how my character experiences, interacts, and perceives the world around him. In order to write poetry, that involves going a step higher. The poem you read was originally a love letter that I didn't think was good enough to convey what I wanted to tell her.

The last is bad free verse poetry. Most of the poetry that I see by teenagers on the web can be related to squiggly lines of some object they probably drew as children. There's little form. It's crap, but you don't say it's crap because there's potential in everyone to do better and you want to encourage them to do so. You tell them, "That's good ^.^ Keep practicing," like in the Oekaki boards.

When I go home tonight, I'll put up some poetry my friends have written that are decent and make my poem look like crap. I should keep practicing, but I'm busy ^__^;;;
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