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Never Trust Online Dating
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27 / M / Los Angeles 626 a...
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Posted 12/19/07
Heres a story i was reading on another forum. I guarantee u, this story will make u LOL, LMFAO and ROFL.... Enjoy.


I haven't tried online dating before, a friend of mine recommended me to try it he found him self a good-looking girlfriend, so I gave it a shot and went to looking around at Myspace. While searching around the web page I saw this girl's profile and she looks pretty hot in all her picture. So I talked to her over a period of a few weeks, getting to know her. Telling myself hell yea!! I’m going to get me some booty!! Grinning and giggling at the same time, because she looked incredibility hot and I thought to myself why “Didn't tried online dating before?”

I called her on the phone and decided to meet up. She wanted to go see a scary movie. I was like ok, cool, I guess I can let her hug me when it gets scary laughing to myself. So naive of me, what was I thinking. The only person that is going to be scared was myself. I went to the theater, tried to look around for my dream girl and couldn't find her. So I text her and all along she was standing right in front of me looking and holding her giant size diet coke. Oh my f**k God, I was scared straight, I'm never ever trusting a picture ever again unless they got web-cam!!

Standing before me was a behemoth (be-he-moth) the size of purple Barney. The moment she spoke to me I knew I was in some deep sh**. It was a deep husky man voice with a vibration sonic boom. She asked where I parked and I pointed to my car, which was right in front of the theater. My legs were about to collapse from her voice. I stood straight looking at Goliath who towered before me, I felt like David staring at this beast. She looked at me in the eyes and gazed at me like I'm a prey. My eyes were wondering left and right trying to look for an escape route. I knew this was going to be a long and troubling night.

She took two steps forwards and I took two steps back. She said “Come here let me give you a hug”, smiling at me with a gaping tooth. She tried to move her huge arms towards me and her fat fingers were digging against my arms. It felt like a Superman being torched with kryptonite, my body felt really weak and my legs shivered. I told her “I can't go in because I got oil on my shirt from working on a car”. I had on a black shirt but I looked spotless and smelled good, I knew she smelled my lied.

She asked if I was ready to watch the movie, I said, “I forgot my wallet at home.” The beast pulled out two tickets smiling at me and said, “Don't worry I got two tickets already.” I wasn't for sure how to escape so I went inside the movie with her. Sat down and I can't believe it's love seats. She almost took up both sides of the seat, I sat there feeling trapped in the little corner of the seat. There was a reeking smell coming from her. It smelled like rotting flesh and the stench of death. I couldn't handle it but I tried my best, my eye visions began to blur. All the strength in my body was drained. Fifteen minutes into the movie, Goliath kept grabbing and squeezing me every time there was a scary part or a suspense part in the movie. I felt like a piece of meat being abused and used. She was groping me and I was defending myself with all my might, brushing her hands away every time she tried to reach down south or the mommy & daddy button.

Finally I gathered enough courage and told her “I need to go to the bathroom.” She sensed my escape and tried to hold me down. Saying she wants to go to the bathroom also. I said, “Well I need to go really badly”, I got up and ran down the flights of stairs. Not daring to look back at all. Running as fast as I can to my car. People were staring at me like I was a crazed man. I hop in the car and the engine wouldn't start. I'm thinking to myself oh sh*t no, please don' t let this happen! I kept trying and trying, I looked over my shoulder at the front of the theater and I see behemoth walking out and running towards my car. One two one two, the closer she got. The sudden, a big roar came from the engine the car has finally started, I drove off as fast as I could. I was so scared I almost hit a pedestrian while speeding out of the parking lot. Never ever again will I let this happen to me. After the great escape I said to myself, “Man, ain’t that a b****.”
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25 / M / Having a meeting...
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Posted 12/19/07
lol! i read the story. but well i have meet people online as friends. but never encountered something like your story.
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76 / M
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Posted 12/19/07
online dating is the shit......................u can have safe online sex..no protection needed.
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76 / F
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Posted 12/19/07
LOOLL. I actually read your story. O.O Holy cow, wtf. You don't meet a random stranger without webcamming/ GETTING EVERY SINGLE LITTLE PROOF that they're real.

Geez. xD
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76 / M
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Posted 12/19/07
i think this is made up...even though it was well written and all..


but wouldn't he have known how she sounded first before meeting her since they spoke on the phone??
unless she faked her voice...
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32 / F / At my computer
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Posted 12/19/07
I'm not someone who would opt to look for a date off the net when I can take a 15min drive to a bar and pick someone up. But I don't really see anything particularly wrong with it. Whether you are first meeting someone in person or online, you still know nothing about them. People can lie just as easily face to face. I, for one, prefer to personally inspect my merchandise before purchase though.
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27 / M / Los Angeles 626 a...
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Posted 12/19/07

Kieutie wrote:

i think this is made up...even though it was well written and all..


but wouldn't he have known how she sounded first before meeting her since they spoke on the phone??
unless she faked her voice...

You'll never know, sometimes girls sound different on the phone.
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30 / M / Melbourne
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Posted 12/19/07
It was a deep husky man voice with a vibration sonic boom.

that made me lol
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F / Seoul, Korea
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Posted 12/19/07
Omg, online dating, I think is stupid. Why wouldn't people just
naturally meet others in person and not online. So you can trully see
how that person acts, how that person looks, and their true personality.


Thats why, be careful kids! dont date online.
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29 / F / Hell
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Posted 12/19/07
some creeps are out there
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27 / M / Florida
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Posted 12/19/07
lol he got boned. Man who in there right mind meets someone online and goes out with them, sounds a bit like all those killing cases you here about on the news. Girl meets guy online, they meet, she gets raped and killed. Sadly enough it was the other way around this time lol. feel bad for the guy though bolting for the stairs fearing for his life.
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30 / M / Melbourne
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Posted 12/19/07

volotu wrote:

feel bad for the guy though bolting for the stairs fearing for his life.


the most she could do was take a bite out of him.
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27 / M / Melbourne
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Posted 12/19/07
I thought online dating was just for shits n giggles :/
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27 / M / Florida
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Posted 12/19/07

Kenshin1986 wrote:


volotu wrote:

feel bad for the guy though bolting for the stairs fearing for his life.


the most she could do was take a bite out of him.


lol hahhaha i but i think one bite for her would have been him, so i dont think there is much left of him to still run away.
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