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advantages and disadvantages to having sex before a permanent spouse.
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25 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 3/11/09
advantages are you get to explore more womans box (that box, nothing better or wetter then that box)
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24 / F / Iowa
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Posted 3/11/09
advantage to having sex without a married spouse, experience.
i dont understand most of the stuff youve said. you write complicated.
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24 / F / Pennsylvania
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Posted 3/11/09
Uhm. You get laid? Awesome, right?

What disadvantages? lawlll. :3
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116 / F / somewhere over th...
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Posted 3/11/09
Advantages: In many cases, you can become more mature..?.., you will have experience.
Disadvantages: Many health risks such as HIV, pregnancy, etc.
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forgot where
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Posted 3/14/09

BubbleGumx wrote:

Hmm, well a disadvantage is that when you've finally waited and married your partner, and after having sex... you discover that you're both not sexual compatible, then that could be a problem if you're wanting to enjoy it.


what does sexual compatible mean? does that mean unable to have sex? or no penis or vagina? simply hate it? or perhaps one of them becomes gay? sex is very important for a relationship. when your finding a girlfriend/boyfriend you should be able to find out all of thier dirty little secrets long before you decide to be together for a long time. thats what dating is for. and if they r really hopeless in bed, just go find another wife/spouse or whatever. But dont find another one because he/she was not sexually compatible, just say they lied to you about it. peace over war
Posted 3/14/09
Disadvantages...?
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24 / M / O.C. So.Cal
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Posted 3/14/09

JJT2 wrote:

what r the advantages and disadvantages to having sex before a permanent spouse.? i use permanent spouse interchagablely with marriage because not everyone will ever get married or stay married for that matter.

And this quesion doesnt apply to those who will stay single thier entire life. (like me)

i personaly know a few advantages- such as trusts, respect, love (hopefully).
If u dont feel respected, loved, or trusted by your spouse, your in the wrong relationship.And if u arnt giving those things u r an asshole and deserve to die.

i dont know any real disadvantages in a permanent serious relationship. Some people would like to argue that if u arnt good in bed your wife or whatever will leave you.

but that doesnt make sense because
#1) marriages or permanent relationships shouldnt be based on sex to begin with. Studies show that most marriages last longer when based on respect, not love or sex. You can beat your wife and still llove her. You can be great in bed and still be beaten by your spouse. But no man who respects a woman would ever hit her.especially thier wife.

#2) having sex is like fighting/martial arts. Practice makes improvement. and experience is great training. why not train in your relationship? ask your spouse how she likes it and where she wants it. I saw this on Oprah once. These older couples were having a hard time having good sex cause they have been doing it so long.So Oprah recommended watching a few porn flick together and discussing how they want to be touched, where they wanted to be touched, ect.
Same thing with fighting. teach your lover how to do jujitsu. do it naked, idk.... be creative. my sensei always told me that being aggressive can make up for a lack of skill. The same thing goes for sex.

#3)if one of you happens to lack both skill and aggressiveness in sex, then teach them. Why would the person your supposevly in love with dump over something that can be fixed with relative ease? Its like martial arts. Just because im not a master today, doesnt mean i cant train to become one tomarrow. Same with sex.
If u happen to be the one with more experience, dont belittle your partner because he/she isnt. thats being a bitch. especially in a permanent relationship.why not teach them? it can be a fun date. teach him/her a little martial arts while your at it. it add spice to life.

but maybe im naive and ignorant. If there r other disadvantages- enlighten me.

(btw, its bad to beat your wife- martial arts r meant to be used to kill people who r after your wife, not killing your wife)

Edit: btw, just for a qucik understanding, i am talking about serious relationships only.If u blow through 500 men a night, but u were serious about each one, that situation still counts as a permanent spouse/marriage.Only 50% of marriages last in the USA.and marriage or a permanent spouse isnt for everyone.once again this quesion only applies to those who want to be in a serious one at least one time before they die. peace over war



LOL haha u managed to connect sex with martial arts

anyways I want to marry my girlfriend but im a virgin and she's not sigh...idk what to do
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M / USA
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Posted 3/14/09
Advantage: There is nothing better than bringing into a marriage all sorts of sexual baggage.

People speak of compatibility as if the pieces don't fit together.

Figure it out with your spouse. Communicate and play. Things are far more fulfilling that way.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 3/14/09
please never connect sex with martial arts ever again.

the biggest advantage imo is experience. your first time having sex is always awkward so practice makes perfect. if you can't last more than 2 minutes then lawl.

there shouldn't be any disadvantages if you use a condom, and she has pills. of course fucking at drunk parties is a no no. everybody there probably has HIV or herpes.
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25 / F / Philippines but i...
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Posted 3/14/09
advantage:
you know how to do it better
(experience)

disadvantage:
you can't give your husband your
virginity anymore
culture: he may leave you if he finds out
Posted 3/15/09

JJT2 wrote:


BubbleGumx wrote:

Hmm, well a disadvantage is that when you've finally waited and married your partner, and after having sex... you discover that you're both not sexual compatible, then that could be a problem if you're wanting to enjoy it.


what does sexual compatible mean? does that mean unable to have sex? or no penis or vagina? simply hate it? or perhaps one of them becomes gay? sex is very important for a relationship. when your finding a girlfriend/boyfriend you should be able to find out all of thier dirty little secrets long before you decide to be together for a long time. thats what dating is for. and if they r really hopeless in bed, just go find another wife/spouse or whatever. But dont find another one because he/she was not sexually compatible, just say they lied to you about it. peace over war


I meant that, different people are into different sorts of things and which might seem good for one person can be a turn off for the next. So yes, the man/woman could be really bored or turned off when having sex with their partner... but they've just got married so it's going to be a big problem xD I didnt mean ditch the person because they're bad in bed, but if you don't or didnt enjoy it with your new partner and you are wanting to for the rest of your days, it's probably not best of getting married with that person.
:)
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forgot where
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Posted 3/16/09

BubbleGumx wrote:


JJT2 wrote:


BubbleGumx wrote:

Hmm, well a disadvantage is that when you've finally waited and married your partner, and after having sex... you discover that you're both not sexual compatible, then that could be a problem if you're wanting to enjoy it.


what does sexual compatible mean? does that mean unable to have sex? or no penis or vagina? simply hate it? or perhaps one of them becomes gay? sex is very important for a relationship. when your finding a girlfriend/boyfriend you should be able to find out all of thier dirty little secrets long before you decide to be together for a long time. thats what dating is for. and if they r really hopeless in bed, just go find another wife/spouse or whatever. But dont find another one because he/she was not sexually compatible, just say they lied to you about it. peace over war


I meant that, different people are into different sorts of things and which might seem good for one person can be a turn off for the next. So yes, the man/woman could be really bored or turned off when having sex with their partner... but they've just got married so it's going to be a big problem xD I didnt mean ditch the person because they're bad in bed, but if you don't or didnt enjoy it with your new partner and you are wanting to for the rest of your days, it's probably not best of getting married with that person.
:)


but having sex is like martial arts. when two men spar in martial arts, they can compromise about where they want to be hit and how hard.They each get better as they continue to spar.

the same thing with sex in a marriage. If u dont enjoy it, you can compromise and work with each other to make it better. it doesnt have to be a life sentence. Couples that are very old have the same issue. The sex may have started out great. but as they get older, it gets repetitive/like a chore.So they need to try something new.i am personaly against temporary "mate" swapping, but if it works for you, u can just get sex from somebody else. Or become a plaligimist.or try watching porn together. or try having sex in different places. try a 3 some.But i believe marriage issues can be fixed within a marriage.

Same thing with martial arts. if sparring normally isnt good enough, try only using one hand. maybe only one foot.maybe weapons only. or weapons and unarmed. get creative.. peace over war
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Canada
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Posted 3/16/09
finally you made a non fighting thread. advantages:your not a virgin disadvantages:pregnancy
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27 / M / Sweden
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Posted 3/16/09 , edited 3/16/09
hahahahahaha "I saw this on Oprah"

Anyway..

First.... what do you mean permanent spouse? There's no guarantee to that. Divorces are common.

Second.... I don't see any disadvantages in having sex before marriage or a "permanent" relationship.
If you're afraid of STD:s and pregnancy then do something about it. Use condom and day after-pills. Many people have their sex-debut with a friend, just to feel more secure. That might be a good idea.

Third.... porn might be a good way to get the lust up, but there's no point in watching porn to learn techniques, since everyone is different and doesn't come in the same positions.

Fourth.... experience is what makes sex good. There's no such thing as a good "first time".
If you're going to have sex with a person multiple times (like a gf/bf) its a very good idea to ask what feels good and not.

Fifth.... avoid the missionary. Its good for debuting, but not more


//
And that was some words from my sister who happens to be a sex-counselor and is on the phone right now
(and I agree with her)
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F
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Posted 10/4/09
I know many marriages that lasted less than teens' relationships...
I think there are no disadvantages...
Love can exist outside of marriage...the only disadvantage if you are young is that you can get pregnant or get an STD...but that's what condoms are about (if you use them right of course)
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