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horrid jokes
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25 / M / Vancouver, Washin...
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Posted 3/15/09
give us ur best horrible jokes o.0

* Why did the farmer use a steam roller?
* He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

* Why didn't Count Dracula get married?
* He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

* How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?
* They are both up to something.

* Why does Father Time wear bandages?
* Because day breaks and night falls.

* What is a rifle with three barrels?
* A trifle.

* What weapon is most feared by knights?
* A can opener.

* When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?
* When they lose their haunting licenses.

* Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?
* It was a litterbug.

* What did the leopard say when it ate the man?
* That hit the spot.

Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, "Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?" and the other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"
Posted 3/15/09
why is 6 afraid of 7? BECAUSE 7 8 9!! AHAHAHAsjdfpqr5trgvjaeoia;aifdkzoih
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21 / M / UK
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Posted 3/15/09
What do you get when you stab a nun?

I don't know about you, but I get an erection.
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31 / M / Germany
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Posted 3/15/09
why did the chicken cross the road?....to get the other side of course *wocka wocka*
Posted 3/15/09
What's another name for pickled bread?

Dill dough. :3
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Canada
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Posted 3/15/09
knock.knock
whos there?
orange
orange who?
arent ya glad i didnt say orange
hahahha
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www.crunchyroll.com
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Posted 3/15/09
What is the Capital of Egypt?

"E" roflmaozomglolwtf
Posted 3/15/09
Q - Why did the siren turn on?
A - Because it was hurt.

Q - What did the chicken say when it was sick?
A - Cough a doodle doo!!

Q - Why do stalkers stalk?
A - Because they lost their balance.

xD ~ Horrible!
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25 / Where I am is whe...
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Posted 3/15/09
Every "Knock, Knock" joke I've ever heard have been ridiculously lame.
Posted 3/15/09
Can I have your number?

It's not really a joke, but girls laugh pretty hard when I ask them that.

OMGI'MSOFUNNYGAIZ.
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F
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Posted 3/15/09 , edited 3/15/09
The jokes you've posted made me giggle.
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26 / M / Cloud 9.
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Posted 3/15/09
What happens when a frog parks illegally.
It gets toad.

Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team?
She ran away from the ball.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.

Story time.
Joe takes his visiting Scottish cousin to a baseball game. Baseball is new to the Scot, so Joe is explaining the game as it goes. The visiting team's pitcher throws four bad pitches, and the batter tosses his bat toward the dugout and strolls to first. The Scot jumps up and shouts: "Run, man, run!". Joe pulls him down and explains: "No, he gets to walk, he has four balls." The Scot jumps up and shouts: "Walk with pride, man, walk with pride!"
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24 / F / Far away from you
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Posted 3/15/09
What did the tree ate for breakfast?
oak-meal

What are the dentist's favorite four letters?
I-C-D-K
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116 / F / Boracay....sana.
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Posted 3/16/09
What did the mathematician Edward Cullen say to his opponents?
>> as if you can outnumber me.

* ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
* ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
* ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
* ON TESCO''S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
* ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
* ON BOOTS CHILDRENS'' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
* ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
* ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
* ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
* ON SAINSBURY''S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
* ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
* ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

hehehe.

Posted 3/20/09
wanna hear a dirty joke?
the boy fell in the mud

wanna hear a clean joke?
the boy had a bath


funny shit
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