give us ur best horrible jokes o.0
* Why did the farmer use a steam roller?
* He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.
* Why didn't Count Dracula get married?
* He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.
* How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?
* They are both up to something.
* Why does Father Time wear bandages?
* Because day breaks and night falls.
* What is a rifle with three barrels?
* A trifle.
* What weapon is most feared by knights?
* A can opener.
* When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?
* When they lose their haunting licenses.
* Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?
* It was a litterbug.
* What did the leopard say when it ate the man?
* That hit the spot.
Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, "Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?" and the other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"
I guess I am back....
why is 6 afraid of 7? BECAUSE 7 8 9!! AHAHAHAsjdfpqr5trgvjaeoia;aifdkzoih
What do you get when you stab a nun?
I don't know about you, but I get an erection.
why did the chicken cross the road?....to get the other side of course *wocka wocka*
What's another name for pickled bread?
Dill dough. :3
I'm tired, give me a blunt or shut the hell up.
arent ya glad i didnt say orange
♥Ｂｕｓｙ ｗｉｔｈ ｓｃｈｏｏｌ．．．．～！♥
What is the Capital of Egypt?
I'm bad with the English and Japanese language so don't talk to me
Q - Why did the siren turn on?
A - Because it was hurt.
Q - What did the chicken say when it was sick?
A - Cough a doodle doo!!
Q - Why do stalkers stalk?
A - Because they lost their balance.
xD ~ Horrible!
Every "Knock, Knock" joke I've ever heard have been ridiculously lame.
Holy strawberries, Batman! We're in a jam!
Can I have your number?
It's not really a joke, but girls laugh pretty hard when I ask them that.
I HATE EVERYONE
The jokes you've posted made me giggle.
[ How do you make a banana split?
Show her your nuts. ]
[ If you get your eyes and your asshole mixed up, would you have a shitty outlook on life? ]
[ An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says "What is this - some kind of a joke?" ]
[ Batman walks up to Robin and hits him on the head with a vase and shouts "T'Pau"
"Don't you mean Kapow?" Asks Robin.
"No," says Batman, "I've got china in my hands." ]
[ Did you hear about the dyslexic who walks into a bra? ]
[ How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper. ]
[ *In a Class Room*
Johnny raises his hand.
Teacher: Yes, Johnny?
Johnny: May I please go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Sure thing. But first, recite the alphabet.
Johnny: Okay. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ.
Teacher: Where's the P?
Johnny: It's running down my leg. ]
[ What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish! ]
[ Why did the orange cross the road?
He wanted to play squash! ]
[ What did the ghost say to the bees?
[ Yo mama's so fat she has to put her lipstick on with a paintroller. ]
[ 10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player
1. They always wear protection.
2. They have great hands.
3. They are used to scoring.
4. They have great stamina.
5. They find the opening and get it in.
6. They never miss the target.
7. They know how to use their wood.
8. They have long sticks.
9.They know when to play rough.
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls. ]
What happens when a frog parks illegally.
It gets toad.
Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team?
She ran away from the ball.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Joe takes his visiting Scottish cousin to a baseball game. Baseball is new to the Scot, so Joe is explaining the game as it goes. The visiting team's pitcher throws four bad pitches, and the batter tosses his bat toward the dugout and strolls to first. The Scot jumps up and shouts: "Run, man, run!". Joe pulls him down and explains: "No, he gets to walk, he has four balls." The Scot jumps up and shouts: "Walk with pride, man, walk with pride!"
balloons that don't fly.
What did the tree ate for breakfast?
What are the dentist's favorite four letters?
Visit my tumblr: evyione.tumblr.com
What did the mathematician Edward Cullen say to his opponents?
>> as if you can outnumber me.
* ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
* ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
* ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
* ON TESCO''S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
* ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
* ON BOOTS CHILDRENS'' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
* ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
* ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
* ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
* ON SAINSBURY''S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
* ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
* ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
bought the SHINee and DBSK album~ [Y.O.U & Mirotic]
wanna hear a dirty joke?
the boy fell in the mud
wanna hear a clean joke?
the boy had a bath
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