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☆ GAME °F My Life°
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Posted 4/18/09
Every now and then, I'll put new things here posted by people all over the world about how much their life sucks. You can post some of your own as well! :D
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Posted 4/18/09 , edited 4/18/09
Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML
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Posted 4/18/09 , edited 4/18/09
Today, I came home to find my mum on the phone to the doctor. When she hung up I asked what had happened. She said they found a sexually transmitted disease in my bloodtest, and then she began to call me a slut. I'm 14, and am still a virgin. After 5 mins of crying, she tells me she was joking. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was walking home from when I passed an old woman sitting on the curb of Walmart begging for change. I gave her my last dollar and felt good about it. Five minutes later I saw the same woman driving away in a car. I don't even own a car. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan. Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, Are you confused? He says, No actually, I have a stutter. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today I found out that I got into my top choice college and that I got a near full scholarship. All my parents had to pay was $3,000 a year which is totally affordable given their income. My parents told me, however, that they aren't paying a dime for me to go to college. The reason? It interferes with their retirement plan to go on an African safari. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was watching Meet The Parents on my iTouch after a test. I turned it up pretty high and I couldn't hear what anyone else was saying. I got to a funny part in the movie, and started laughing, and noticed that everyone was staring at me. After class my friend told me that I started laughing right after an announcement was made that one of my best friends was hit by a car and is in critical condition. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to f off. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML
Posted 4/18/09
I just got a call from our Doctor.My husband had just been in a horrible accident making him unable to work. He had broken both legs and both arms and had a serious head injury. The next day the doctor called me and told me to come see my husband which was impossible since I had just given birth to my new born baby boy. So I b*tched at him and told him to come and see me. He held my hand and said "Ma'am...due to the accident your husband had become a vegetable. You'll have to feed him. bathe him... and care for him for the rest of his life." I was about to scream when my husband come strolling in the door, carrying our son and yelling "Happy Birthday Honey! You've just been tricked" FML
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