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☆ GAME °F My Life°
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins are still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid runs out and shoots me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and he ruined my new suit. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was, "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said "You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left the window open. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, You can see his whole freaking package! I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, my husband of three years told me he only proposed to me because his favorite football team was winning and he had been drunk. I had our second child three days ago. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out I felt someone grab my knee, I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes nearly 25 people we're starring at me, and the lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I joined the marine corps thinking I would go to Iraq and kill someone. They decided I would be better off as a cook. FML
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I decided to fix this thing I call a car. I spent my last $100 dollars doing the job twice, because i messed up the first time installing it. Turns out it was a completely different problem. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I bought my girlfriend of 1 month some chocolates as a gift. She somehow forgot to mention that she was allergic to peanuts in the 1 month that we have been together. So when she opened her gift and ate the chocolate of her choice, of course, it was filled with caramel and nuts. She was rushed to the hospital about an hour ago. FML
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