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☆ GAME °F My Life°
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was going to tell my mom that I'm bisexual. We happened to be talking about a boy at my school at the time and I mentioned that HE was bisexual. My mom then replied "well that's scary". FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, my family and I ran into a older man my parents knew. He counitinually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09 , edited 4/18/09
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiance was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, me and my fiancee had our wedding ceremony. The priest wed us and we kissed. At the reception, we danced and she said she had to go to the bathroom. She never came back. I found out she bought TWO tickets for the 5 o'clock plane to Fiji. She used my credit card. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver, they drank too much and on the way home hooked up in the back seat. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and gave them a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
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23 / F
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Posted 4/18/09
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
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