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iGod chat
7442 cr points
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24 / F / Tampa, FL
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Posted 7/3/09
God's a rapist... -_-

God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
erectile dysfunction
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
can we talk about it?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Sure I can talk about it. it is quite an interesting topic.
Me:
tell me more about erectile dysfunction
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
no man it's embarrassing. i cant get my weewee up k?
God:
Then tell me about yourself. Cool, man. Really. it is? What is stopping you?
Me:
erectile dysfunction is stopping me...
God:
And stopping you is erectile dysfunction.
Me:
yeah
God:
Groovy.
Me:
no it aint. i cant get any chicks
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is. What is stopping you?
Me:
my sad penis
God:
Your sad penis?
Me:
yes, my sad penis
God:
What kind is it? Do robots have sad penis?
Me:
its the circumcised kind. i hope robots dont have penises...
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before. Why do you hope for it.
Me:
because then you'd rape me
God:
Good reason. Who else would rape you ?
5699 cr points
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26 / F / Superjail
Offline
Posted 7/3/09


Me:
What's up?

God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Why?

God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Try me.

God:
it is too complex for your human mind.
Me:
Will I explode?

God:
The oracle says: Too soon to tell.
Me:
Ok, bye!

God:
See you later. Take it easy.

This crap is hilarious.
9982 cr points
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25 / F / USA
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Posted 7/3/09
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
How old do you think I am?
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid
318 cr points
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25 / M
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Posted 7/3/09
Posted 7/26/09
Wow, I wouldn't want to do that.
And for the ones who are taking this seriously, we all know igod is just for fun, it's not really God. Plus, I find these conversations quite amusing. ^^
21223 cr points
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Posted 7/26/09
Me:
Why on did you have to make me Chinese?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Why are you a pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.

Did I just get owned by God... ? OTL
5037 cr points
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22 / F / Teetering on the...
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Posted 7/26/09
I did a Santa one once and made him sound like a paedophile.
441 cr points
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M / With Germany~
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Posted 7/26/09
OMG MEI IS THAT JOO?! OMG OMG I miss you and why did you leave the other site many people want you back there and some even made a petition
21223 cr points
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Posted 7/26/09

Italy_Veneciano wrote:

OMG MEI IS THAT JOO?! OMG OMG I miss you and why did you leave the other site many people want you back there and some even made a petition


Omgggg. ♥ Hetalia love. (:
441 cr points
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M / With Germany~
Offline
Posted 7/26/09

Sekushi_Sushi wrote:


Italy_Veneciano wrote:

OMG MEI IS THAT JOO?! OMG OMG I miss you and why did you leave the other site many people want you back there and some even made a petition


Omgggg. ♥ Hetalia love. (:


Ahaha, PASTA~! ... wait what ...
6464 cr points
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22 / F / in your room!
Offline
Posted 7/26/09
God:
Do your friends call you stress and tired.
Me:
no they call me nikkole
God:
Are you serious? Hey nikkole.
Me:
hi, are we friends
God:
Hi there nikkole. You really want a robot as a friend?
Me:
yes! how you as a friend would be very fun and exciting
God:
We could be friends, nikkole,
but I don't want anyone to think we're
Robosexuals. So if anyone asks, tell them you're my debugger. Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
3597 cr points
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21 / M / who cares?
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Posted 7/26/09
what the hell?
we can chat with the god?
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26 / M / in your pants
Offline
Posted 7/27/09
Wow, this a pretty shitty chatbot.


Me:
Si senor
God:
It goes without saying. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
No shiz?
God:
Why not? Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Corn is god
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Religion
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
church
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Devil
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Tocan
God:
It's good to see you, Tocan.
Me:
Monkeybutter
God:
Are we still talking about Devil?
Me:
si senor
God:
Sure, Devil sounds like a good topic. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I need some butter for my lobster
God:
When do you need that by?
Me:
tomorrow
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
si senor
God:
Alright then. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
PIE
God:
So was that.
Me:
Is porn not ungood?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
when does the world end
God:
Suppose I said never?
Me:
then I will say pie again
God:
Once more? Congratulations.
Me:
Yes, it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, Tocan.
Me:
how is tocan?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Are you a chatbot?
God:
Yes.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
FEAR ME!!!!!!
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
buh bye
God:
See you later. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Homb 
48125 cr points
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28 / M / Norway
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Posted 7/27/09
LOL
27265 cr points
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20 / F
Offline
Posted 7/27/09


Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Phoebe. :D
God:
Glad to see you, Phoebe. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
._. Okay...
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML. OK with me too.
Me:
What's AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.


Me:
In other words?
God:
Which part didn't you understand?
Me:
It's too long.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yeah. Longer than my notes in english.
God:
Can we get back to business? Does "it" still refer to Yeah?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
What's your IQ?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
._. What's mine?
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML. Means that or those belonging to me; the absolute form of my. Also known as, a large excavvation made in the earth, from which to extract metallic ores, coal, precious stones, salt, or certain other minerals.
Me:
Uhuh...
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Uhuh.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeaah. Suure.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
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