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Open Relationships
Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09
Jeez, open relationship is just another name for 'outstanding flirts'. Umm no, I'll never try this out.
Posted 5/14/09

Lucky04 wrote:

I don't particularly appreciate the idea of open relationships, but I'm not against it (oh and btw, I'm talking about platonic relationship here, no sex involved >_>). I really like the 1st definition, kind of romantic, but unrealistic though, as the happy ending doesn't always come =P. The 2nd definition is confusing o.o Anyways I agree that this kind of relationship requires two people with an extremely mature and open mind, or else it'd be a disaster. Sometimes it takes lots of experiences/obstacles for people to recognize where their hearts really belong, and to know that the person they need all along is the one who has been standing next to them since the beginning.

Personally, I can't bear the idea of sharing my beloved one with any other girls (haha yeah I easily get jealous xD). But if I really like that person, I will somehow accept to be involved in a open relationship, wishing that I'll make him realize that I'm the one for him >_~


thank u ... i like this answer
Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09

sophiadoughty wrote:


-mariiaa- wrote:

i don't like it...

in a relationship, i don't want to come in second...
either, we're lovers or just friends >.>



Thats what I think =/
I don't see why anybody would want to share the guy/girl they like with somebody else >_<
Isnt that really the whole point of the relationship?
to be faithful and own each other? >_<


there are instances on some couples find saying ,"i love u", "i'll never leave u", and some other cheesy lines, steamy at the first then boring when done too oftenly...i mean imagine it if your BF says the same line to you every single day youll say pobably is that all thats gonna happen between us then u wonder if youll ever be happy living with him for the rest of your life... thats why people do this to test themselves if they indeed is deserving for each other. Open relationships is done without the going through the process of breaking up thus straining your relationship almost to its breaking point.
Posted 5/14/09
it won't make me feel special..
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Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09

Okazu606 wrote:


swtcakes wrote:


i am "chill"
I don't know, did my previous post make me sound angry or worked up?
I didn't mean to...

And that's your opinion, I respect it, but my opinion is that people who agree on open relationships just want to date around and try new partners. They are not ready to commit to a single relationship. That does not spell mature to me.
Sure it takes confidence, but not maturity

"Two people can look at the same picture and see completely different things."
It's the same concept here. You see it as being mature, I see it as being irresponsible.
And I don't think any woman will ever be emotionally ready for an open relationship with a guy unless she's the type that likes to sleep with different men every now an then?

This makes me question, what ever happened to commitment...
what ever happened to a beautiful relationship where you love one person and one person only.
how can anyone feel special knowing your significant other is fooling around with other people.
You'd feel insecure... and people that don't feel insecure in these types of open relationships aren't "mature", like you stated, they just don't give a hoot, in my opinion. They are the types that cheat a lot probably. No responsibility or concern towards others feelings.


You did sound pretty worked up, and while you're entitled to your own opinion, I don't think things work that way...

How is it irresponsible if two adult persons who may have been married 10-20-30+ years, decides that they enjoy sex and would like to have sex with other partners? I think it's a very responsible way to do things - Both partners are in on it, no lying or cheating or keeping secrets, and a great amount of openess on the topic of sex.
Why is it different from man to woman?

Why is having an open relationship not beautiful? And who says you'd love your partner less/love others? It's just sex...
Just because the idea of being in an open relationship makes you insecure, doesn't mean others are as insecure or fail to have trust in their partners - if this was the case they wouldn't be in an open relationship.


You have the total opposite idea of how things really are...

"They are the types that cheat a lot probably. No responsibility or concern towards others feelings"

You couldn't be more wrong. Both partners like the idea of having sex with others, both are open and honest about it - It's not cheating, it is very responsible and it does indeed take others feelings into account.

...It's fine that you can't cope with the idea, but just because you prefer the colour red, doesn't make red everyone else's prefered colour - nor should it be.


"it's just sex."....zzzzz no comment... lol

and I think you've got the wrong idea of what I mean.
If you are in a relationship and feel like you want to sleep with other people,
then you might as well just get a friend with benefits, rather than a relationship.

And normally people would feel insecure if he/she really likes his/her partner.
If they don't feel insecure, then they aren't really in love with each other,
in that case, it's NOT a relationship, just friends with benefits.
If you disagree, I'd really like to hear your opinion of what a real relationship is ~.~
(and no, just because I don't think open relationships are good, doesn't mean I'm trying to convince everyone else to think that way;
I'm simply stating my opinion and views on open relationships... so don't say those things. I don't push my beliefs on other people, I simply say what I think. I agree with me or not, it's your choice).

All I'm saying is... what's the point of declaring an open relationship? it's the same as friends with benefits.
You're just giving it a better name... an alias really.

[edit] lol I re-read your post, and I saw you said... couples being married for 10-30 years decides they like sex and wants other partners?... I just can't help but feel so depressed... what has this world come to? Is sex really everything? Really, is it more important than the person you love and been married to for so many years?
And I can probably guess, you're going to say, "Hey it's just sex." Sorry I can not even begin to fathom your philosophy.

I think I should just end this with the next sentence.

Our views on sex, relationships, and commitment is completely different, so it's useless to keep this debate going on any further.

There! perhaps it's because we grew up in different cultures, or maybe it's because we think differently.
Either way, I think open relationships = friends with benefits, and it's pointless to declare such a relationship,
and you think it's perfectly normal if both parties agree.
You take sex lightly, I take it seriously.
You think commitment comes from the heart, I think it should also come from actions.

Have a nice day
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Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09
"I think we should have a more open relationship?"

Translation


"I want to have sex with other people because i'm bored of just you"
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Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09
open relationships are just an excuse to have as much sex as you can with multiple regular people without having to commit to any of them, It's immature, lazy, sleazy, and most normal people would be hurt if their significant other suggested such a thing, myself included
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Posted 5/14/09
To me open relationship is just friends with benefits...

Your basically saying... your cool enough to hang out with and/or attractive enough to sleep with.
But, your definately not the one for me.

Giving it a different name doesnt change the fact it just means you know you'd rather be with someone else.

Besides the only time you should have to define a relationship (what you or I is allowed to do) is in business.
Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09


No, I don't think I've gotten the wrong idea, I think understanding what you are saying is very simple.

Because you personally don't like the idea of having more than 1 sexual partner if you're in a relationship, because it would make you jealous, because you'd be insecure, then you don't really believe that others can feel any different about it.
- cause if someone does feel different about it, they are either immature, abnormally horny or doesn't love their partner.

Aint that what you're saying?

You're saying that you aren't trying to force your opinions on others, but at the same time you deny that things can be any different from the way you view on things. So either you are indeed trying to force your opinions on others, or else you are just claiming to know better.

I'm not talking about friends with benefits, and you're wrong in trying to make it the same thing. I'm talking about couples, 2 persons, who love eachother and wish to spend the rest of their lives together. 2 persons who have a different approach to sex than you do, who does not believe that you only can or should have sex with your husband/wife.

You've made it very clear that the idea doesn't appeal to you, but who are you to come and point fingers? How much do you really know about sex? You've been adult for what... 2-3-4 years? Don't you think things change with time? Is it really impossible that people can feel differently about themselves, their partner, love and sex than you do?

Yes, I think you are right in assuming we grew up in different cultures, I was never deranged by religion.

I never stated that I would like an open relationship - I wouldn't. I've been with a couple of girls I didn't love or was inlove with, and it didn't appeal to me, but that doesn't mean I can't understand that others may have a different approach or mind set than I do.
I don't take sex lightly at all, what makes you assume that? That I believe people are different and are allowed to be?

- If it's pointless to discuss because you aren't open to diversity, then what are you doing discussing on a forum?
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Posted 5/14/09 , edited 5/14/09

Okazu606 wrote:



No, I don't think I've gotten the wrong idea, I think understanding what you are saying is very simple.

Because you personally don't like the idea of having more than 1 sexual partner if you're in a relationship, because it would make you jealous, because you'd be insecure, then you don't really believe that others can feel any different about it.
- cause if someone does feel different about it, they are either immature, abnormally horny or doesn't love their partner.

Aint that what you're saying?

You're saying that you aren't trying to force your opinions on others, but at the same time you deny that things can be any different from the way you view on things. So either you are indeed trying to force your opinions on others, or else you are just claiming to know better.

I'm not talking about friends with benefits, and you're wrong in trying to make it the same thing. I'm talking about couples, 2 persons, who love eachother and wish to spend the rest of their lives together. 2 persons who have a different approach to sex than you do, who does not believe that you only can or should have sex with your husband/wife.

You've made it very clear that the idea doesn't appeal to you, but who are you to come and point fingers? How much do you really know about sex? You've been adult for what... 2-3-4 years? Don't you think things change with time? Is it really impossible that people can feel differently about themselves, their partner, love and sex than you do?

Yes, I think you are right in assuming we grew up in different cultures, I was never deranged by religion.

I never stated that I would like an open relationship - I wouldn't. I've been with a couple of girls I didn't love or was inlove with, and it didn't appeal to me, but that doesn't mean I can't understand that others may have a different approach or mind set than I do.
I don't take sex lightly at all, what makes you assume that? That I believe people are different and are allowed to be?

- If it's pointless to discuss because you aren't open to diversity, then what are you doing discussing on a forum?


wow man. now you need to "chill".
Like you said, I don't like the idea of an open relationship.
yea.. "i"... did I ever say everyone "should" think the way I do? No, I didn't. I'm just expressing my opinion.
It's diversity like you said. Just because I don't like open relationships, doesn't mean I can't accept diversity.
You think one way, I think another. Is it you that can't accept the way I think?
Just because my thoughts on this topic are more orthodox doesn't mean I don't like diversity.
And I said we grew up with different cultural backgrounds that caused us to look at sex and relationships differently...
I never mentioned religion...

My opinion is that people who are ok with open relationships just wants sex w/ many different ppl.
And i think that is no different from "friends with benefits".
I don't see any "pushing my beliefs" on other people. I'm just using my freedom of speech and saying what's on my mind.
Now would you please drop this before I really get worked up.

Oh and, the last part. I said you take sex lightly is a fact according to your previous post.
I quote, "It's just sex...". <-- what you said! If you don't want people to misunderstand, please refrain from typing before you think about it first.

K, good bye! I don't want to argue anymore. If you really want to debate more, quote 90% of the other people who posted here. They also dislike the idea of open relationships.

Posted 5/14/09

swtcakes wrote:

Bla bla bla, yadda yadda.. I know right, you know wrong... bawkbawkbkawkawkbkawk....

My opinion is that people who are ok with open relationships just wants sex w/ many different ppl.
And i think that is no different from "friends with benefits".


Why is it that you can't accept other people may be different from you? I am not telling you that being faithful is wrong or doesn't exist, yet you won't accept that some people actually choose to live differently from you. That is not about opinions, that is a fact. Married couples spending their lives together, loving eachother til the end, choosing to have sex with other partners. It's not something you can just deny as being "friends with benefits", it's people who've been married for 30 years, raised children, established a live together.




I don't see any "pushing my beliefs" on other people. I'm just using my freedom of speech and saying what's on my mind.
Now would you please drop this before I really get worked up.

(bla bla bla...)

K, good bye! I don't want to argue anymore. If you really want to debate more, quote 90% of the other people who posted here. They also dislike the idea of open relationships.


Just as you, I am using my freedom of speech, but you're asking me to drop this before you get worked up? How about you drop this before you get worked up?

If you really don't want to argue, then how come you keep quoting me and continue to argue? In my opinion you're contradicting yourself...
My guess is that you'll quote me again, continuing the argument, proving me right by contradicting yourself again ^_~
Posted 5/14/09
Open relationships are just an excuse to cheat without being punished for it. Don't go for it. (Unless I can have a harem of men and women, that changes everything).
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Posted 5/14/09
If my partner comes up to me asking for an open relationship then I would be okay with it. This probably because my partner and I have only been in one relationship so far and that is with each other. I would understand completely if my partner wants to explore and see whats out there. However there are some guidelines and that would be if my partner wants to be sexually intimate with someone I would have to know of it first.
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Posted 5/14/09

Okazu606 wrote:


swtcakes wrote:

Bla bla bla, yadda yadda.. I know right, you know wrong... bawkbawkbkawkawkbkawk....

My opinion is that people who are ok with open relationships just wants sex w/ many different ppl.
And i think that is no different from "friends with benefits".


Why is it that you can't accept other people may be different from you? I am not telling you that being faithful is wrong or doesn't exist, yet you won't accept that some people actually choose to live differently from you. That is not about opinions, that is a fact. Married couples spending their lives together, loving eachother til the end, choosing to have sex with other partners. It's not something you can just deny as being "friends with benefits", it's people who've been married for 30 years, raised children, established a live together.




I don't see any "pushing my beliefs" on other people. I'm just using my freedom of speech and saying what's on my mind.
Now would you please drop this before I really get worked up.

(bla bla bla...)

K, good bye! I don't want to argue anymore. If you really want to debate more, quote 90% of the other people who posted here. They also dislike the idea of open relationships.


Just as you, I am using my freedom of speech, but you're asking me to drop this before you get worked up? How about you drop this before you get worked up?

If you really don't want to argue, then how come you keep quoting me and continue to argue? In my opinion you're contradicting yourself...
My guess is that you'll quote me again, continuing the argument, proving me right by contradicting yourself again ^_~


Read carefully. I said I don't want to argue "anymore".
And yes I no longer want to argue / debate with you.
We have different opinions on this topic, I'll let that be.
This reply isn't an argument...

and... wtf is this : "
Bla bla bla, yadda yadda.. I know right, you know wrong... bawkbawkbkawkawkbkawk...."

I never said that, don't change what I say while quoting me.
good day sir.
Posted 5/14/09
No, never.

Thats terrbile. Who would want their boy/girl friend to hook up with another person. Hell no.
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