First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  Next  Last
Bonsai Kittens - Who on Earth came up with this type of art!?
3439 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M
Offline
Posted 6/25/09 , edited 8/15/09
Hijacked by Nyarth~
To those of you who are about to rant about this just remember, its a hoax.
___________________

A bonsai kitten is basically a type of pet where they stuff a cat into a bottle/jar/box for the rest of its frikken life!








Hey kids! Make your own imitation
Bonsai Kitten Picture Frame! At http://dc-wifi.com/bonsai/framecat/framecat




Initial insertion, kitten was injected with 2mg equivalent dosage of Valium via Ketamine after 12 hr fasting regimen. Notice pre-drilled side hole for ventilation/feeding tube.


After insertion, feeding tube not yet inserted, ventilation through 1/4 inch side hole drilled with diamond-tipped bit.


Rear aspect, revealing initial swelling reaction from Super Glue. Rectal diverticulum to side tube usually spontaneously occurs in one
week.


Method:

At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust. However, the flexibility of the kitten's skeleton means that if the bones are gently warped at this early age, they can be molded into any desired shape. At Bonsai Kitten, we achieve this by placing the kitten into a rigid vessel soon after birth, and allowing the young cat to grow out its formative time entirely within this container. The kitten essentially grows into the shape of the vessel! Once the cat is fully developed, it is removed (or the vessel broken to remove it!), producing the lovable, furry pet you've always wanted, but it remains in the shape you've always dreamed of! There is virtually no limit to the eventual shape of your pet.
Practical Considerations

At Bonsai Kitten, we are happy to take care of all the little details and simply deliver to you a fully shaped kitten according to your specifications. However, for those who have applied for and received the appropriate Bonsai Kitticulture permits from the U.S. government, we are happy to provide details of the procedure to those who want to start from "scratch"! There are three main requirements that must be considered when making a Bonsai Kitten:

1. Air. This ought to go without saying, but you'd be surprised how many amateurs forget this detail and wind up with a cold, hard kitty in the morning! If the containment vessel is sealed, you must drill airholes prior to kitten insertion. A diamond drill is recommended for glass vessels.
2. Food & Water. Especially if the kitten's head is being shaped (one of the most versatile aspects of the Bonsai Kitten), it will not be able to eat or drink normally. The most common solution is another hole in the container with a feeding tube to the kitten's mouth, where a liquid food slurry can provide both nutrient and hydration requirements.
3. Waste Removal. Left to its own devices, the kitten would quickly fill its vessel with its own urine and feces, leading to certain sickness and death, not to mention the inevitably unpleasant appearance and odor. The best solution is to seal the kitten's anus with Super Glue prior to insertion, and then insert a waste tube through a third whole in the vessel. As the kitten's body is still developing, a natural rectal diverticulum will soon form around the tube, which can be drained in any convenient fashion. It's just like a kitty colostomy bag!

Soure: http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/index.html
7583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
wtf?!
2395 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / F / here on earth...h...
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
???
Posted 6/25/09
Oh, God that's terrible.
3439 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
You need a license to perform this art, a license for animal cruelty

16313 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / ♪ ♫ ☼ england
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
its fake.
1591 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / New York University
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
@.@... wtf LOOOL.....

would the cat be free if the jar breaks?
36320 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / USA
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
4930 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
30 / F / Singapore
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
It's a HOAX.
13136 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Europe
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
Oh. what now? -_-
Posted 6/25/09
WTF O___________O
Posted 6/25/09
If only I'd quite like to put a kitty in a jar x3
4295 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Youtube!
Offline
Posted 6/25/09
I think it's shopped.
25823 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M
Offline
Posted 6/25/09

Chance16 wrote:

its fake.


kinda like
eatbabies.com
Posted 6/25/09
yay Hamster safety!
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.