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I Pray You Find This As Intresting As I do...
Posted 6/29/09 , edited 8/22/09
EDIT: Okay dudes, quit saying stupid things I don't want another person to write "It's too long" or "I can't read it" tell me what you think! Jesus H. Christ I've gotten several coments and none of them actually state an opinion. Come on!

Oh and I don't write follow up stories unless it's obvious people wanna read it. Basically if this post gets 30+ replies, I'll continue writing otherwise I feel like there's no point.

Jack has had a strange life. He started out life as any other. He was born in Westminster, Greater London, UK. But when he was 2 years old his parents died in a fire and Jack, who was in the house, miraculously survived. He was sent to an orphanage called Fawk’s Unique College for Kids. As Jack aged it began to become relevant that he was incredibly intelligent. When he was a child his IQ was 149. But Jack of course was not a nerd; in fact, he was a delinquent trouble maker. He would often get into fights with the other children, and he never lost a single one. He was adopted at age 12 by a woman named Vanessa Perkins. She sexually abused him, but whether or not it is considered abuse as Jack would condone it. But when the police found out (The police stated somebody saw them having sex in public and told them their address.) he was removed from her custody. When Jack was held at the police station, he ran away so he could have control of everything that happened in his life.
He lived as a thief and stole from everybody. At age 14 he mat a man that took him in, Thomas Jackson. Jackson was a master musician and showed Jack all the music he had. Jack loved all of it and had quite an ear for music. Jack went back to school at University High School. He graduated with honors within a year. Jack truly was a genius, too bad he didn’t care. He became so focused on music he decided to become a musician. Jack wanted to be the best bass player in the best band in the world. Thomas wouldn’t have it; he said Jack had to go to college first. Jack got into an incredibly heated fight with Thomas, and the fight became physical. Jack stabbed Thomas in the heart, and Thomas broke Jacks neck at the same time.
They both died.
2 years later Jack wakes up in the middle of a cemetery in Manchester, and is struck with amnesia. Jack didn’t even know his name. A group of children were nearby and said to him “Oi! Look es’ Jack the Pumpkin Head in’t it!?” Jack assumed that Jack must’ve been his name and the pumpkin head thing was a nickname. In reality, it was Halloween and the children were going to the cemetery to prove how brave they were. When Jack rose out of the ground they thought of the Jack Pumpkin head from a story they heard. To this day nobody knows Jack’s real name. Jack went to go live with Mary and Ben Wensting. They helped him get back on his feet and help him figure out who he was. They admitted him into a mental hospital for sometime after finding out that Jack was missing a part of his brain. He met a 9-year-old John Manner, the future guitarist of Sperm Meets Egg, and became good friends with him. John was put there for repeatedly stabbing another child for talking to him in a condescending tone. John never left after being determined legally insane, and a general threat to the public. Jack left after 2 months, after being determined that his lack of certain parts of the brain is a birth defect and caused him no trouble, and continued to keep in contact with John.
Jack decided to go to college, and after realising he was a genius, he stayed for 12 years, becoming an advanced doctor. Another strange twist is that jack seemed to stop aging after he became 23, or to him 4 years since he woke up in the cemetery. On his final year he had a roommate who was planning on being a musician. When Jack tried playing with one of the instruments, he found he was already proficient. The instrument he was the most proficient with was the electric bass. Jack reached his awakening, and changed his plans back to his original. To be the best bass player in the best band in the world. After dropping out of college, he searched everywhere for his band members. He made money by yet again stealing, and never got caught. He found John still being institutionalized, and asked the asylum if he could take custody of John. After much debate, John was let free. Jack asked if John wanted to be in his band to which John replied yes. John decided to be a guitarist. So the two of them looked all over Europe.
When Jack was out stealing, he saw a man lying in the middle of the park, after kicking him and getting no response he searched the man for his wallet. When Jack took out the wallet the man suddenly woke up and punched Jack in the ribs so hard that it knocked him 15 feet back and broke two of his ribs so badly they broke the skin. He still carries this scar. The man said “sorry… oh, it appears you require serious medical attention.” And with that the man sent Jack to the hospital. After Jack woke up from a minor coma (about 16 hours) he found John and the man at his side. John had a bruise on his cheek, and the man had a cut on his shoulder (Need this be explained?). The man said “You’re making a band. I’m in.” John confirmed this by saying “Yeah, this is Kack, one o’ de beast drummas aroun’.”
So they had a bass player, a drummer, and a guitarist. Jack felt he needed something else. When it was Jack’s birthday, the band decided to take Jack to a brothel “Everyon’ ‘eserves ta get laid on deir birthday, yeah eh?” John told Jack. They saw a woman with a guitar playing on a stage. She was beautiful, and played a guitar that bewitched the soul and made you want to give her money. Jack paid for her. Her name was “Nim” she told him. After having sex with her, he had sex with her six more times. (Free of charge) When they were done, Jack asked her if she wanted to be in his band. She said yes, “As long as it means I can still fuck you whenever I want.” Jack replied “Whenever you want!?”
The band had been made, the only problem was nobody could think of the name.
“The Insaneimites!” John suggested
“The Blank Shadows” Kack said
“Starfuckers Inc.!” Nym said.
“No we need something that means something, a play on a cliché!...” Jack said. They all thought for a while.
“Hmm, maybe we should make a classic cliché a little more perverted?” Nym suggested.
“I got it, you know the cliché boy meets girl? Well, what is boy meets girl, really?”
They all said it in unison.
“Sperm Meets Egg!” The band was born and the world was about to change. Jack the immortal “23” year old, Nym the sex android, John the insane lifelong friend of Jack, and Kack the mysterious.



Posted 6/29/09
That's a bit rude but okay...
killar 
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Posted 6/29/09

PaulMcartny wrote:

That's a bit rude but okay...


Ignore the retards. Give the intelligent people some time to respond.

I don't have time to read it yet but at quick glance you need to work on your paragraph structure and general grammar. People are more likely to invest the time to read your story if it is properly put together. Many people on this forum don't have a good attention span and entering a thread and seeing a massive, unorganized blob of text is not appealing.

That's most likely why the first response was tl:dr.
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Posted 6/29/09


Jack has had a strange life. He started out life as any other. He was born in Westminster, Greater London, UK. But



how come mine didnt start out like that?
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Posted 6/29/09
It's so hard to read. *needs glasses* lol
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Posted 7/2/09
Hi!, can anyone read a novel I made? It's only chapter 1 but I'm currently making the chapter 2 now. SO if you have time, would you mind reading it and giving some comments and suggestion,,.. Here's the link http://asakuranovels.blogspot.com/
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Posted 7/2/09

tkdboy4ever wrote:

Hi!, can anyone read a novel I made? It's only chapter 1 but I'm currently making the chapter 2 now. SO if you have time, would you mind reading it and giving some comments and suggestion,,.. Here's the link http://asakuranovels.blogspot.com/


Why don't you post it instead of advertising another site?
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Posted 7/2/09

chrome_mist wrote:


tkdboy4ever wrote:

Hi!, can anyone read a novel I made? It's only chapter 1 but I'm currently making the chapter 2 now. SO if you have time, would you mind reading it and giving some comments and suggestion,,.. Here's the link http://asakuranovels.blogspot.com/


Why don't you post it instead of advertising another site?


Lack of CR Points, sorry, I can't even make a new forum topic.. This is all I can do.. SOrry
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Posted 7/2/09
BTW. that site is my site, I'm not trying to offend anyone, I just created a blogspot so that all my novels will be archieved.. and organized
Posted 7/3/09
What the frick are you guys talking about?
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Posted 7/20/09
it was a good story i liked it
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Posted 7/20/09
it was a good story
i liked it
Posted 7/20/09
That's actually a pretty good story!
Right after eading it I went to youtube and searched if the band was real... Lol
Posted 7/20/09
That's actually a pretty good story!
Right after eading it I went to youtube and searched if the band was real... Lol
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Posted 7/26/09
lol wtf dude it was pretty interesting, did you create this??
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