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I Pray You Find This As Intresting As I do...

PaulMcartny 1185 cr points Send Message: 23 / M / The Realm Of Dreams Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 8/22/09 xXGerardxX wrote: lol wtf dude it was pretty interesting, did you create this?? Of course I did. I'm not a plagurist.
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sisicat 2241 cr points Send Message: 19 / F / you will never know Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 9/28/09 i'm extremely sorry but it's boring
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 11/24/09 Hmm...I find this very interesting. Somewhat a little dull in the beginning but it still caught my attention. Maybe you should write the story in Jack's point of view or third person, that would help elaborate more on your story. All in all, it was wonderful and very original. I hope you continue this story.
	Report to Moderator Pokemon HeartGold : best remake EVER!
	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 2/17/10 your story isnt a story.its basically stating events.a person would get bored reading the first paragraph of it,PaulMcartny , u should start writing a story in an attractive way so ppl will want to go on and read,find out more about the character,meaning:instead of directly saying Jack's history,say it in events.like explain his current state stuck somewhere,describe this somwhere or idk.but i know if u want to write a good story u have to start by revealing characters in order of their situation,not just go and say it.also reading books by professional novelists will help,see how to start.good luck
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PaulMcartny 1185 cr points Send Message: 23 / M / The Realm Of Dreams Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 5/25/10 Call it an introduction. Of course this isn't a story XP Even I know that. I'm showing you material for a story I may create.
	Report to Moderator Who Says I'm Inactive? That's Crazy.
FeliciaSueLynn 3555 cr points Send Message: 19 / Chicagoland area Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 5/27/10 It was good. It would have been better had you taken more time to really create the characters and develop the story. Other than that I like it. I also love the fact that you have them speaking in a dialect, not in some way people say is correct to speak.
	Report to Moderator Ello again. :) leave me a line I might get back to you today. :)
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