[Poems]
1360 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / Earth, dnt bother...
Offline
Posted 7/2/09 , edited 7/2/09
Tell me what do you think of my poems.


-Romeolicious thunderous- ( I was going to make it a song, i kinda stuffed it up, oh well)

Oh Romeo, did u know,
I'm alive because of you.
If you weren't here,
I would be in fear.

Because you brighten up my darkest days,
hold the thunder in your hands.
My heart you would raise,
to the the rainbows. <---EDIT: 'to the rainbows'

You never had to leave me,
but you chose your way.
Baby how couldn't you have ever seen,
how much i loved you.

I had always loved you,
was beside you,
believed you,
smiled with you,
had my love only for you.

I see you now gone walking away,
to some other girl you found your way.
But now I gotta walk alone,
in life's dark pathway.

-See my heart-
look at me,
what can you see?
look in my eyes,
you'll see i tell no lies.
hold my hand,
and you'll understand.
with all my heart,
I'm telling you i loved u from the start


-Blinded by the heart-
When the day becomes night,
i don't have sight.
When the night becomes day,
i dream somewhere faraway.
When i touch your hand,
i can touch the sky.
You are always there,
in the day and night,
in my dreams,
In the sky,
my only sight!

~ By 3mmi a.k.a em
Posted 7/2/09
hmm...did u accidently type the word "the" twice? (first poem) other than that:

1st poem: awesome! except i would reccommend making it a little longer. the ending seemed a bit rushed. make this one into a song!

2nd and 3rd poems: nice little rhyme poems, but kinda short.
1360 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / Earth, dnt bother...
Offline
Posted 7/2/09

chzna wrote:

hmm...did u accidently type the word "the" twice? (first poem) other than that:

1st poem: awesome! except i would reccommend making it a little longer. the ending seemed a bit rushed. make this one into a song!

2nd and 3rd poems: nice little rhyme poems, but kinda short.


yeah, i did rush the first one beacuse I was bored, writing story. Suddenly im making a song in my head and come up with the first one. Yeh I should make it longer. Thnx for commenting =]
260 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 7/6/09
good
Kiki's Customer Support Service
Kiki 
100408 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Nova Scotia
Offline
Posted 7/7/09
I really love poems, I can't write poems at all though. >.<
Some are just real gifted with words. Anyway, duplicate

http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-750/Poems.html
You must be logged in to post.