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Sex Isn't about love anymore?
Posted 7/11/11 , edited 7/11/11
When was it ever about love? I thought it was about reproduction.
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33 / M / Construction land!
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Posted 7/11/11
It's a... fairly large blame circle, actually. The crux of the problem is how society makes sex and nudity so taboo. It becomes a curiousity thing- tell someone to not do something, and they'll want to even more. The media, of course, is well aware of this taboo. So they use it in marketing- to get the attention of more people. (Advertising is all about catching someone's attention. What better way than to use something controversial?) Enter now, the kids, who are curious from being told not do have sex, then seeing all the ads glorifying it. Add in how teenagers seem to be getting their hormones raging at an earlier age, and, well... you have a recipe for disaster.

So, the divorce from love. Love itself, is not taboo. (Unless it's homosexual, which is a whole different topic.) So people, including kids, aren't as interested in it. Thus, we breed the desire for sex without love. Love may come later, through maturity, but that's after boinking some.
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Posted 7/25/11
yeah, it's more about pleasure and money now.
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20 / M / Canada
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Posted 7/25/11
I think it's a bit of a misconception to think that the purpose of sex is to express love. I'm certain others have mentioned it before but the purpose of sex is reproduction. Should sex be about love? Well, that's a matter of opinion; in my opinion: no. Sex is like any urge one gets and sometimes it just needs to be fulfilled with no long term commitments. [:
Posted 7/25/11

YoChristianCo wrote:

I think it's a bit of a misconception to think that the purpose of sex is to express love. I'm certain others have mentioned it before but the purpose of sex is reproduction. Should sex be about love? Well, that's a matter of opinion; in my opinion: no. Sex is like any urge one gets and sometimes it just needs to be fulfilled with no long term commitments. [:
Then in that case, you're crossing dangerous ground, when you rationalized other individuals as mere means or objects to satisfy your sexual desire.

Dr. GOLEMAN: Sure. That's a very good question, Keith. First of all, mirror neurons create in our brain what's going on in the other person's brain. They were discovered by accident. They were mapping the motor cortex of a monkey. This is the part of the brain that moves the body. They were studying one cell that only fired when the monkey moved its arm.

One day the cell fired without the monkey moving its arm. They were puzzled. Then they realized a law assistant was eating an ice cream cone right in front of the monkey, and the monkey's neuron for lifting an arm fired when the lab assistant lifted his arm.

This is what goes on in our brain. Whatever we see, whatever we sense in the other person, is recreated for us. It gives an immediate felt sense. But consider this. If we're multitasking, you know, you're doing - you're on your e-mail while you're talking to somebody, you're not quite there, or if you're not really connecting, what they found in studies at Harvard Medical School - Carl Marci is the one who did them - when people are off in a conversation, their physiologies don't connect.

When they're having a moment of real rapport, if you monitor heart rate and other physical measures, they look like two birds dancing together. That is they rise and fall in perfect coordination so that mirror neurons and the other social circuitry seem to map for us what's going on in the other person so we don't have to think about how are they taking this, what should I do next? These circuits do it for us, and that's why it keeps things so smooth.

CONAN: Interesting, you write later in the book, psychopaths obviously have difficulties with this.

Dr. GOLEMAN: Well, there are three types of personality that have problems, disturbing problems. They're called the dark triad. They are narcissists, Machiavellians and psychopaths or sociopaths. And all of them have a defect in empathy, which means they don't care about the consequences for the other person of what they do, so they can be manipulative. They can use their ability to attune - to the extent they have it - just for what interests them. They don't care about the other person and it leads to great trouble.(citation)
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Posted 7/25/11 , edited 7/25/11
Soulless Sex = The search for a release of Endorphins telling you're instinctual nature you've done your part for the species this month.

Sex with Meaning = The result of finding someone who cares about your fulfillment as a human being, and you share a wonderful moment together in which you join the ranks of wordless expression alongside the usual suspects such as music, art etc.


I agree with the very early posts towards the beginning of the thread, the media has definitely geared a view to the public towards the more physical nature of the deed. Unfortunately people will agree with them, because of our intrinsic need to feel that we're part of a social group, and that we're accepted by others socially. If we don't conform to the views of our highers, then we don't belong as a part of that group, and we feel isolated as a human being.

Pretentious Philosophical rubbish aside, it's the "agree with the group" mentality, so as long as others push this physical attitude towards Sex, then most people will just go along with it and invest their belief in it as well.
Posted 7/26/11

DavidStrife7 wrote:

Soulless Sex = The search for a release of Endorphins telling you're instinctual nature you've done your part for the species this month.

Sex with Meaning = The result of finding someone who cares about your fulfillment as a human being, and you share a wonderful moment together in which you join the ranks of wordless expression alongside the usual suspects such as music, art etc.


I agree with the very early posts towards the beginning of the thread, the media has definitely geared a view to the public towards the more physical nature of the deed. Unfortunately people will agree with them, because of our intrinsic need to feel that we're part of a social group, and that we're accepted by others socially. If we don't conform to the views of our highers, then we don't belong as a part of that group, and we feel isolated as a human being.

Pretentious Philosophical rubbish aside, it's the "agree with the group" mentality, so as long as others push this physical attitude towards Sex, then most people will just go along with it and invest their belief in it as well.


SOULESS SEX WITH A MEANING
you forgot to define that one
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Posted 7/26/11
In which case I have no answer :P
Personally I can't have sex with someone I haven't known for at least a few weeks, I can't do it just because "she's hot", so it's not an area I've had experience in or interest in.
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Posted 7/27/11 , edited 7/27/11
TBH, although my carnal desires are at my prime considering my age, I still enjoy having sex with an individual I love (however you want to define this) than a random stranger.

Having repeated sex with a single partner is advantageous for both individuals since they can become more accustomed to the likes/dislikes of the opposite. However, this position often goes in the opposite direction in very long relationships (such as marriage etc) where there is no more excitement and it becomes mundane.
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Posted 7/27/11

LawlietEru wrote:

yeah, it's more about pleasure and money now.


Maby you need to take your blindfold off! Nothing has changed! At that love is just a word used for lust and the need for community. In the past people chose there mates on the social stature the rich found another rich person to wed inorfder . love is just a empity word with no real meaning
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Posted 7/31/11
LOL. was it ever? Must be nice living a world like that. Reality hits like a bitch :/ haha xD
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24 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 8/1/11
Sex is about lots of things.

First of all, sex is a natural urge. You cannot in ANY POSSIBLE WAY get around that fact. Thus, on it's most primal level, sex is for the mere purpose of reproducing.
With that in mind, there is no wonder how some people will try and get as much random sex as possible. It has been like that for thousands of years. And prostitution has existed just as long, in some form or another.

As for today, yes. In media, people rarely seem to give a rat's ass about the "love" part.
However, the media is only a big a part of your life as you allow it to be. For any couple that has experienced it, sex is a symbol of love between those two individuals... usually.
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20 / M / Philippines
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Posted 8/1/11 , edited 8/1/11
~I wouldn't say that sex isn't about love anymore because there are still a lot of couples, especially married couples who make love to each other every now and then. As to how the media brainwashes our minds into thinking that sex is a personal need that needs to be satisfied now and then even if it's not with the one we love. Even without the media, a lot of people still think like that. How do you think prostitution became one of the oldest profession in the history of man?
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Posted 8/2/11

Darkphoenix3450 wrote:


LawlietEru wrote:

yeah, it's more about pleasure and money now.


Maby you need to take your blindfold off! Nothing has changed! At that love is just a word used for lust and the need for community. In the past people chose there mates on the social stature the rich found another rich person to wed inorfder . love is just a empity word with no real meaning


oh, really? many things changed. and when I said money, I'm talking about the prostitutes. I doubt that they were being paid by money for it.
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27 / F / GDL,Mexico
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Posted 8/2/11
if u want love....u dont need to have sex.....
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