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Post Reply Black Heart
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25 / F / In my own little...
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Posted 1/8/10
XD
lol wow Koko-chan =w=

Latest chapter made me sad for Chris though D:
He luffed his brother even though he was a monster T___T
He wanted to be like him, but not a monster DX
Poor kid =w=

I DUN LIKE CADEN XD Are we not supposed to lol?
XD
Posted 1/8/10 , edited 1/8/10
LOL Yea brotherly love </3 ;~;

and idk yet D:
In VD Damon IS bad but then theres a sweet side owo like..DEEPDEEEEEEEEEP down inside XD
LOL I THINK
Im pretty gullible so idk =w=

WE SHOULD LOVE CADEEENNNNNNNNNNN :D
...idk why.
BUT WEE SHOULD
LOL
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25 / F / In my own little...
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Posted 1/8/10
=w=
I still don't LOVE him XD
I guess he COULD do something to make me not HATE him though XD
ALL DEPENDS :3
Posted 1/8/10
AWW

lol you'll see =w=
teh next chapter ish awesome owo
FUNNY.
HOW YOU ASK!?

Well christian cracks a joke on Caden =w=
LOL ITS AWESOMEE.
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25 / F / In my own little...
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Posted 1/8/10
XD
I LIKE JOKES 8D
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19 / Desert Bluffs
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Posted 1/8/10
@KOKO:I LUFF BAD GUYS,THO!!......waitwait u already knew that =w= and what the heak is VD.....?..................... ........OHOHVAMPIREDIARIES!!!=w= duh.
Posted 1/8/10
Lol I KNOW TORU =w=
coughHICHIcoughOTHERGUYS O_O

VD is awesomeee <333
oh btw, almost got teh next chap written >w<

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25 / F / In my own little...
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Posted 1/8/10
OwO
NEXT CHAPTER 8D
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Posted 1/8/10
...
Going grammar nazi now ...
It's just one thing that's bugging me XD
that last "threw" should be "through"
Threw is the past tense of throw =w=

BUT STILL WANT MORE :3
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Posted 1/8/10
OwO
WOW

Chris is gullible =w=
ERIS SHOULD TELL HIM DX

lol just like, two things that bugged me ::
"keep his fists from not punching his brother" take out the not there XD
When the not is there, its saying he trying to punch him =w= double negative ;D

And then the last bits of dialogue you have two people talking in one chapter ^^
Posted 1/8/10
LOL YEA but he still loves hes brotherrrrrrr T_T
im too lazi to edit naziiembie D:

and lol wat?
i dont understand that at all =w=
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Posted 1/8/10
Ooooh dang.
LOTS of typos in my last post!
Wow.
I must have been typing like... REALLY fast =w=

Here it is again, fixed...

"keep his fists from not punching his brother" :: take out the 'not' there XD
When the 'not' is there, it's saying he's trying to punch his brother =w= double negative cancels out the 'keeping from doing it'

And then in the last bits of dialogue you have two people talking in one paragraph
Posted 1/8/10
o_o
"And then in the last bits of dialogue you have two people talking in one paragraph"

i dont understand that at all. O_O
........
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Posted 1/8/10
"He looked back at his brother, and his words were like poison to me, “One chance. You mess it up and-” He couldn’t finish his sentence because Caden awkwardly pulled him into a hug, and patted his back. “Good choice. I won’t let you down, brother.”"

You shouldn't have two different people talking in one paragraph.
Remember, Bo and I were talking about that in Angelo's story forum?
When two people are talking, whenever the speaker switches you need to start a new paragraph
Posted 1/8/10
ooooooo~
shoulda said that in the first place =w=

and no i dont remember that XD i have memory loss, remember?
SOMETIMES I CANT EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN NAME O_O
....
ITS HORRIBLE!
I think its Jello...or Jack O-o
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