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[FanFiction]Shugo Chara Bishi
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Posted 7/18/09 , edited 9/28/09


Now, I don't normally write fan fiction but I thought what the heck. Noticing that a bunch of the fanfics here are just new stories using existing characters, I decided to do something a bit different than that and go so far as to write it down and post it. This story sort of starts in the middle of the beginning. There may be spelling errors or other mistakes, and if they make it hard to understand let me know so I can clear them up. I am pretty sure I messed up the correct format for dialog since I have not written anything with dialog in... years. Once you get this old it's all essays folks. And "Bishi" is the Japaneses Onomatopoeia for "the sound of coming to attention, coming together, or getting into the proper order". (I decided to keep track of revisions in case I fix something. That would be your indication, a different number.) The reason new paragraphs start with a "" (image) because forum software of all types removes leading spaces, thus killing ALL indenting unless a non space is first. (I like everything to be in order... darn forum software...)

Introduction: (rev 3)


Chapter 1: Meeting (rev 3)


Chapter 2: Telling of the Past, Interrupted (rev 3)


Chapter 3: Private Memories (rev3)


Chapter 4: The Three Chairs (rev 3)


Chapter 5: Acrobat Reawakened (rev 2)


Chapter 6: Minuet Heatherford
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.

Chapter 7: Awake
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.

Chapter 8: There are Others
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.

Chapter 9: Hatemonger
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.

Chapter 10: The Girl Behind the Glass
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.

Chapter 11: Doubt
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.

Chapter 12: The Enemy You Didn’t Know You Knew
Ran out of room, this links to a later post.


Mini

The Eclectic Mirror: Row

Row's Egg




Benny

Benny's Egg


Rem

Rem's Egg
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Posted 7/18/09
That is quite a story, nice job :D

A good beginning to what I predict to be a good OC story :D

Nice Job, keep going
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18 / F / Swindon, England,...
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Posted 7/18/09
I like it!
Can't wait to read the next chapter!
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Posted 7/18/09 , edited 7/20/09
Posted Chapter 2.

Wondering why I am writing this. Not like me at all.

And sorry about some wording, when I get tired my filter seems to switch off and it makes me write with a more grandiose style. That and somehow I can draw too when I;m tired, but we won't get into that.

--

Made intro less pessimistic sounding. I seem to be great at pessimism so warn me if something seems a bit much. Also took out a word I only use when I try to sound smart, since it actually is a stretch to use it that way and it made me come off snobby.

--

I can't draw, or rather barely can (not people, even whet half asleep), but I am darn good with a computer. I give you Mini:
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Posted 7/20/09
Cool!
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Posted 7/21/09 , edited 7/21/09
The Eclectic Mirror: Row



OK, some more writing now I guess.

---

Chapter 3 posted. Short-ish like the first two. Sad. Puppy with cancer sad.
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Posted 7/21/09
Another chapter to be expected?!
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Posted 7/21/09

sealdust wrote:

Another chapter to be expected?!


Currently I am looking at having everyone introduced and the base in place in the first 5/6 'chapters' (they are a little short it seems). Then come the chapters of evolving conflict and character development. And then the finale. I am almost up to where I stopped planning so far, but doing the character images seems to make me think more about the character development. For example, the "Eclectic Mirror" name carries some interesting meaning I did not fully have till tonight. Also, the titles are rather important to my story.

Titles devised so far (won't say who or what or why):
The Eclectic Mirror
The Acrobat
The Alchemist
The Artisan

Sound odd eh?

OOOOOOOO, intrigue.
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Posted 7/22/09
I think that's great. Absolutly wonderful.
And yes, i'm intrigued.
Okay, continue, continue. Please!
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Posted 7/22/09 , edited 8/8/09
OK, will go in shortly and fix all the errors, like tense and formatting and such. Then I will write some more.

Also:
Benny:


---

UGG, forum software... If someone finds a nice way to do indents TELL ME!

---

Chapter 4 posted.


sealdust wrote:

I think that's great. Absolutly wonderful.
And yes, i'm intrigued.
Okay, continue, continue. Please!


Quoted since you seemed to want to know when the next chapter was in.

---

Tweaked Chapter 4. Somehow I put Frank where I meant Mike twice. Maybe more. In fact, there is no Frank. I have that instead of Fred in some places too... Fixed, Rev2

---

Just letting people know I am still working on this. I just stopped being up till 6am, I was wrighting this in the span from 2-6am and now I am often sleeping in that time span. I'll get back to it soon.
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Posted 8/9/09
Yeah, hi.
I THINK ITS A GREAT STORY. And I apologise for shouting, but it's true!
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Posted 8/12/09 , edited 8/25/09
Posted Chapter 5. It felt a lot longer when I was writing it...

Time for SLEEP. It is 6:20 AM in this timezone.

EDIT:
And now I feel like I can't sleep... It's the darn laptop I'm sure.

---------

Added Chapter 6

I think this whole thing will get a rewrite at the point all character backgrounds are finished. You will note some characters don't even have names for several chapters in some cases.

--------

Redid all chapters. Mostly minor revision and continuity changes. Also posted short Chapter 7.

Also:
Rem:
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Posted 8/25/09 , edited 9/17/09
I hit the post size limit.
Chapter 6: Minuet Heatherford (rev 2)


Chapter 7: Awake (rev 1)


Chapter 8: There are Others (rev 1)


Chapter 9: Hatemonger (rev 1)


Chapter 10: The Girl Behind the Glass (rev 1)


Chapter 11: Doubt (rev 1)
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Posted 9/8/09 , edited 9/17/09
Great Story! I Love it. I've read the updated version. I'm a loyal reader, and this is one of the best shugo chara fan books ever written. Hope you update soon!

I love Chapter 9! It's such a great chapter!!!

Chapter 10 is so exciting, and so is 11! Can't wait till the next chapter!
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Posted 9/8/09 , edited 9/17/09
Added chapter 8. New character.

Added chapter 9.

Added 10/11 (Would have been one but I had a week time split that seemed odd.)
Moved Chapter 6 to the 2nd story post as the first was starting to loose some of the images at the end.

I will have to make a new post for the next chapter.

Fixed silly error where I swapped a letter and made a different word. I never proof read 10/11.
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