The Envoy
OKIJIN 
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25 / M / Oregon
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Posted 7/21/09 , edited 7/21/09
This is an original short story by me. Inspired by Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. Hope you like it, and tell me what you people think.


Chapert 1-Encounter
It was the final class of the day before the students left for home. Rain has been falling for days. Dark clouds covering the sky. The streets wet and people out with their umbrellas.
Ken was laying his head in his open palm, looking out the window, watching rain drops glid down the glass. During this time, the class in session of a lecture and he was really the only one not listening. He was the type to loose interest in class easily.
Ken had few friends, but his closest ones were Aki, a sweet and caring student, and Daiku, a guy you is the kind you looks out for others. Most people treated Ken as normally. Saying good morning, how you doing, and good bye. The teacher closed his book and stopped writing on the board just as the final bell rang.
"Alright class, remember to study up for the test this Friday."
Ken hesitated on packing his bag to get out of class. His sight remained on the window looking out to the court yard.
"Ken? You ready to go?" Aki asked as she came up to his desk.
Ken sighed and got up from his seat.
"You okay?"
"I guess. It's just the rain. It just keeps coming down." Ken said as he packed his bag.
"I thought you liked the rain Ken." Asked Daiku as he came up with his bag over his shoulder.
"Yeah, but around this time of year, it just feels grim." Ken put his backpack on and pushed his chair in. Ken was like the leader of the trio, leading them home, being ahead of the group.
Ken walked between the desks to leave the class room.
"Did you hear about the body they just found?"
"Yeah, I heard it was like all the others. Pale skin, soulless eyes and five injuries as if five swords was shoved through his chest."
"Man, that's just gross."
A few kids were talking about the monthly body that was claimed by some unknown killer. Ken knew all it, so did Aki and Daiku. Ken had no interest in the story but Aki was scared to death about it, while Daiku was like Ken.
"Hey Ken, you heard of the body they found right?" Daiku asked Ken as he walked up to his side as they walked down the hall.
"Yeah, what of it?"
"Just asking. I mean really, every month for over seventy years, has been found with pale skin, empty eyes and five stab wounds in the chest."
"Can you guys please talking about that?" Aki shrugged and held the straps of her backpack.
"Alright, alright." Daiku smirked as he thought it was funny seeing her act the way she does in that topic.
As they reached the school entrance, Ken, Aki and Daiku opened their umbrellas as they entered the rainy outside.
Students had no time to stop. All they wanted was to get home and out of the rain.
"So you wanna come over Ken? I thought we could do our little study group to prepare for the test that's coming up."
"Nah, I just wanna go home for the day"
"Oh come on, we always do our study groups before tests."
"I said no thank you." Ken said in a stern voice as he walked a bit faster to go ahead of the trio.
Aki came up to Daikus said with a worried look, "Daiku, what do you think is wrong with Ken?"
"Don't know. Mabye he doesn't feel good or something like that. Or perhaps, the murder is on his mind."
Aki was quiet. She looked at Ken as he walked hunched over a bit. "I hope he is okey."
"Same here."
Ken stopped at the curb to wait for the light to change to give him okey to go. Daiku and Aki cough up with him stood behind him. Crossing the street and onto the road leading to Okota.
The road was all dirt, but now muddy from rain.
Ken, Daiku, and Aki had to walk on the side of the road to avoid getting stuck in the muddy road. Reaching a fork in the road, Daiku and Aki had to part from Ken sence they live on the other side of the village.
"So, I guess we'll see you tomorrow Ken." Daiku waved bye to Ken.
"See ya Ken."
Ken waved back at Daiku and Aki as they parted and headed for home. Alone in the rain, Ken walked along the muddy road and into the small town. Few people were out and there were few shops in the village. Usually everyday after school, Ken would stop by the quick mart and pick up a magazine and a drink. Entering the mart and getting out of the rain. The only one in the shop was the cashier and Ken. At the magazine rack, Ken picked through the magazines to find one that interested him. Grabbing an entertainment magazine and a soda, Ken paid and left the mart to finally head for home.
"Finally, get home and just relax." Ken had a small grin on his face.
Having his stuff in a plastic bag, Ken walked through town to get home.
"God, when will the rain stop?" Ken looked up but bumped into someone, making both him and the person fall over.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry." Ken said as he saw the mans glasses. They were thick and pitch black. So black, that you couldn't even see through them. Picking them up he handed them to the man. "Oh, thank you." Ken handed them over, but froze.
"Hey kid, you okay?"
Before Ken was you average person, but had hollow eye sockets with a deep darkness and a small shining red light in each socket.
Ken dropped the glasses and backed away and got up, running away.
The man looked at Ken as he ran and placed his glasses back on. The man said getting up and slightly smirking.
Ken ran as fast as he could through the streets with no umbrella. He left it out in the streets and just ran in the pouring rain. His cloths and hair drenched and completely soaked.
Leaving the town, Ken slipped and fell in the mud. On all four, he looked down and then behind him, shacking.
"Wha...What the hell was that?" His sbody trembled and shook from fear than the cold.
The sight of deep darkness and red eyes were burned into his memory.
Getting back up, Ken started to walk, soaked, covered in mud, cold, and frightend.
Alone, and walking up to his house, he reached for the handle but the door opened by itself. In front of him was his mother.
"Ken? Oh my God, what happened?" His mother was shocked to see him like this.
Walking past her, he took his shoes off and walked upstairs still soaked and dirty.
"Ken!?" His mother called again from the bottom of the stairs.
Ken stopped at his bedroom door and looked down at the ground.
"What? What was that? Why was I scared?" Ken asked many questions in his head, but had no answers.
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23 / F / Under your skin.
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Posted 7/21/09
Too long. Just did a quick scan.

My brain can't comprehend with your grammatical and typographical errors.
Also, do you know how and where to use Pronouns and Punctuation marks?

But I praise you for your hard work.
OKIJIN 
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25 / M / Oregon
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Posted 7/21/09

chrome_mist wrote:

Too long. Just did a quick scan.

My brain can't comprehend with your grammatical and typographical errors.
Also, do you know how and where to use Pronouns and Punctuation marks?

But I praise you for your hard work.


hehe, sorry for the mistakes. I did this a long time ago and I guess I never went back to make the corrections.
54331 cr points
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23 / F / Under your skin.
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Posted 7/21/09

OKIJIN wrote:


chrome_mist wrote:

Too long. Just did a quick scan.

My brain can't comprehend with your grammatical and typographical errors.
Also, do you know how and where to use Pronouns and Punctuation marks?

But I praise you for your hard work.


hehe, sorry for the mistakes. I did this a long time ago and I guess I never went back to make the corrections.


Don't worry. I understand.

After you finished revising, I would love to read it.
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23 / M / Antarctica
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Posted 7/23/09
i sense a mod coming...
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24 / F / New York City
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Posted 6/12/10
I liked it. Very very interesting... school, mystery, and comedy all in one. I have a really really good sense of humor. The fact that he's the leader trio like suppose to showhe's the tough type but the fact he ran away back from where he was walking, kinda made me laugh a bit. I would expect Ken to just stay there and ask question, or just stay there shock, or just keep on walking like nothing.
But no he ran away and he fell to the ground... kinda made me laugh.

ps - my sense of imagination is big.

Also, what get's me thinking is how he made it home? and what direction did he actually run for? the way he was walking, or back where eh came from? I assumed he ran back where he came from... but how did he make it home? Was there another path home?

Always double check and make sure things make sense. But over all it was good. I want to see you re-write this and make it better
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21 / M / Earth
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Posted 7/31/10
The story is amazing! Awesome! But you wanna know what is more interesting? Popcornpuff's profile picure! I could not take my eyes off of it O.O
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