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Post Reply "To the End" by Rezzy64
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Posted 9/4/09
Now I've read chapter three.

After taking a sick day on episode two, the repetitive monologuing is back with a vengence. Towards the middle of the episode, I got thoroughly sick of reading about the logic (or lack thereof) of the hand's existence. Around the introduction of the square metaphor I got down-right impatient. Just take a bit of time to edit the monologues; I have a feeling that even removing only two or three sentences from each huge paragraph might be the difference between annoyingly long and the perfect length.

It makes me sad to distrust Amy, but I do. I don't know how much of this is intentional, or whether it is actual foreshadowing, but Amy gives me the creeps now.

I was too tired to comment on the fact yesterday, but I do love Mr. Rainbow. That's a very interesting and memorable character design; just envisioning it in my head makes me smile.

On the Mr. Rainbow note though, is it normal for a kid to go meet with a complete stranger just because the stranger told him to. Our protagonist doesn't even know the guy's name or occupation. Even if Mr. Rainbow had given him a business card, it still wouldn't have meant anything, because you can put whatever the hell you want on a business card. He didn't even do that much though. I can't even begin to fathom our protagonist's thought process.

I'll be awaiting another episode.
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