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[Note] Im splitting up the Series into Two Parts since the first one can't hold up more of my story writing, so now you'll see here its Chapters 7-12 and will be completed before the X-mas of 09, Enjoy and if you didn't read the first of my story of the series or Chapters 1-6, heres the link below and could also be found on the Official SC forum page:
This is a Made up Story I Wrote and Possibly the BEST STORY EVER and The FIRST STORY i've Ever Wrote But First Let Me tell the details of What The Story is actually About:
The Story Begins 2 Years Later After Amu and The Guardians Capture The Embryo and the Wish is Un-Yet Told but lost their Guardian Chara's after the wish of the embryo is made never to be seen again. At the End of the year, Amu Told everyone News at the End of New Years 2 years Ago About She Going Away to Another Country in America Because of Papa New Job as a Photagrapher But Mama Stayed Behind at the House with Her Sister Ami and Amu Chose To leave with her Papa, which she Thought Might Not Able to see Her Fellow Guardian Friends again. So After Her Good-byes in the airport, Ikuto comes out unexpectally and Gives Her a Letter and A Lip Kiss Between and Disappears without saying a Good-Bye. Amu Then Open Ikuto Letter and Said "Dear Amu, Im Sorry Of What i've Done in the Past and Heard You That You Leaving Town and We Might Not See Each Other again So I've Decided That I will Give You this Letter Saying That if you Are Left Alone and Someday want to Comeback Someday, I'll Be Waiting For You and Always Thinking About you So Take Care. - Ikuto P.S. Sorry About saying a Good-Bye Utau been looking for me Again trying to Get Me to do her Dirty Work with her Stupid erron and if i've she sees me by you, she'll kick my ass and hook me in the bed again and do More Work so Sorry!!. Amu Felt Happy on Ikuto Letter and Then kept it for the rest of her life.
2 Years Has Passed and The Story Resumes as Now Amu Hinamori, 16, Returns and Will Face More Danger, Missions, and Unexpected Surprises. This is Her Story...
12 Chapters Completed, Note the Story Kinda has Small Letters and Some are Hard to Read So Take your time and Let Your Mind Read
Also check out My Latest Forum that tells your Day if its Lucky or Un-Lucky so check it its a pretty Awesome website that its gonna blow you away with questions and its the ONLY FORUM UPDATES EVERYDAY:
Total Of 12 Chapters [7-12]
Chapter 7- The Truth [Published: September 12, 2009]
"Ever since you left there were some changes" answered tadase as he explains amu at her room, "what kind of changes tadase, when i arrived everything seems the same when i left except me changing age as i get older" asked amu. "well its the way you see it, but what you didn't known is in the past couple of months, there has been recent activity of bounty hunters dressed in black robes searching for those who has or had have guardian charas in them...capturing the inocents and stealing the persons heart eggs in them in which..." "Woah Woah Woah...What do you mean Guardian Charas an..and heart eggs...is this some sort of game...i don't understand any of what your saying tadase and what has this deal with me?!!" Interrupted amu as she asked tadase. He didn't responded for awhile and seen shocked just staring at amu with a questioning face mark..."You..you don't know what a guardian chara is or remebered your would-beself?!!" answered tadase; "Na-uh I don't recall what your actually sayin at all...what are they anyway?" replyed amu. "Hmm...i can't believe what im hearing...you sure you don't remeber, don't joke me this is serious" replyed back tadase; "No i don't tadase...why are you asking me this i don't know what a god dang thing your sayin...answer me what is what your saying tadase...your starting to become creepy?" answered back amu puzzled. "Its what i thought...you lost your memories and your charas and can't remeber one thing from hearing it...its what i fear" said tadase posing. "Huh...what do you mean by that...and what the heck should i remember by the way...im loosing my patients" asked amu in anger.
"Amu-chan there is one thing in your life you might not remeber...but back then you used to have these three little people that were girls and be along side with you called would-beselfs also known as Guardian Charas or charas we would perfer to called; these charas contain a very special bond and unique powers they have in order to help you around when you are afraid or wanted to be someone new that you never seen before, i've seen you change back in the past helping out others and telling every other people you save about how you could also change a person heart of becomming who they are and think of themselfs in the future ahead, you've changed this town amu hinamori and probably the world amu-chan" said tadase in a long speech. "I..I Never knew that i could do that...i mean if you your telling me about these guardian charas and my life from the past i can't remeber off is true...then what is the deal with the person we saw in a black robe fighting and wanted me for?" asked amu still puzzled. "the person you saw fighting with me and trying to capture you was a bounty hunter sent by someone im investagating with trying to capture not you but your egg heart thats inside you" answered tadase; "My Egg heart...whys that i never knew my heart was an egg shape" answered back amu. "No its not what you think...look the egg heart is how a guardian chara is form and born from it and its inside your heart and it never breaks...until these bounty hunters came and beginning to steal egg hearts from person to person that has it from powerful people, not sure why of course but when it happenhappens that person looses interested on its passion and acts like a zombie...not a zombie zombie but just a normal person not knowing what he/she is doing...but this is after you left here months ago...and now im fear for the worst that there after you because your egg heart is still in contact but yet you never learn how to see yourself and known your would-beself charas as i could see amu-chan".
"So how come i don't remeber my guardian chara nor some memory of the past" asked amu; "well i think there is one explination and that is that accident that happen years ago when you fought along side with me, utau, and ikuto after you recently capture the embryo, an wishing egg that grants any wish who ever helds it, and somehow a beam of light flashed with my own eyes and the next thing i knew is that you were ok but you then acted empty headed for a minute and the next you return back to normal but you also acted that you don't remeber what you were doin here and thats i could remeber that day" answered tadase. "Huh?...yea that confused me a little there your tellin me that i fought along side with you and ikuto and i somehow gotten this embryo and can't remeber a thing and how i gotten it and the situation went...how freaky its like that dream i had that seem similar that you are telling me...but i gotten never a chance on finishing it and everything just went blank with a voice in my dream telling me to remeber these names Ran, Miki, Suu, and the other name that wasn't really cleary finish but all of that seems more realistic" said amu as she looks out the balcony window from her room. "Well thats because those names are the names of your chara and that dream you had might be the same as the incident that happen...i can't believe that you might off actually remeber some parts there but yet you still in danger and it ain't safe here anymore amu-chan", answered tadase; "Woah...well who knows for sure but your right now that you mention it since that attack...what should i do tadase?" replyed amu in need. "Well i got one thing in my mind since you returned...tommorow i want you amu-chan to come over to the royal garden, you still remeber where it is right", "Yea i still know i past there the other day when i was walking alone just remebering the good memories", " Well i have a surprise for you and want you to come...this also will concern on how you can be safe from these bounty hunters but of course can't explain it to you now", "and why not?" All of a sudden a knock on amu door stopped the conversation and a female voice is heard, "Amu its time for your friend tadase to go home now its getting dark now" said amu mom. "Ok mom i'll tell him" answered amu as she heard footstand also be safe and stay away from outdoors til afternoon...don't worry if you get attack again i'll be there for you" said tadase as he opens amu door eps going downstairs; "well amu-chan looks like i have to go now but remeber what i tell you at the roayal garden by the afternoon and come alone...room and starts to leaves, "Ok Tadase, i will see you then and thanks for telling me some truths...maybe some other day i'll remeber more about my past and see my guardian charas...they sound fun but yet just wait and see...but good night tadase." said amu as she sees tadase smiles and leaves.
Chapter 8- Guardians Reunion [Published: Sept 26,2009]
"Ugh...i wonder what tadase meant a surprise at the garden...hmmm" Puzzled Amu walking down an ally she used to walk to the academy years ago. The Sun Was turning into dusk, the cool breeze swept in front of amu body, the sound of leafs crackaling when amu steps one on the ground walking. "Ah There it is the good ol' Saiyo Academy" Said Amu as she arrived Staring at the academy still the same shape and condition was usual, "what great memories i had here, but yet why am i getting the feeling that there is something missing in my past that i can't figure it out" Asked Amu Herself thinking hard in her head what she forgotten but no luck. Amu arrives at the Guardian's Garden, Seeing the condition it feels like if she's back to her young days in the garden itself and never changes one bit; the patio still stands tall, the flowers surrounding the patio blooms are the same, sweet, beautiful, and colorful roses and rows of flowers remaining like if it were yesturdays change of weather. "Wow...its just like as i remeber it before...Nothing has change but i wonder wheres Tadase" Said Amu as she looks around to see if tadase is here but all she sees is yards of flowers in the distance and the entrance of the patio remaining still. "That idiot...i though he told me to meet me here at the garden tonight and now i don't see him around and the sun is going down...ugh where are you tadase" asked herself in her mind looking around to spot tadase whereabouts but nothing. then suddenly a soft voice from behind her spooken her with a bone chill fright, "Hey Amu-Chan".
Amu quickly turn her head around and saw Tadase standing in a good attitude wearing a white hooded sweater and blue jeans. "Ahh...Its only you tadase...You idiot you scared the Holy Hell out of me" Said amu as she catches her breath from tadase surprisement. "Haha Sorry about that Amu-Chan" Laughed Tadase, "Anyway i want you to come inside the patio i got something for you to see" asked tadase as he showed amu the way inside the patio. Amu slowly walk up the patio stairs and went inside the patio, there she saw in the inside a round white robe table with a candle lit in the middle of it and chairs surrounding the table. "Nice...its just like before i left...is this the surprise you wanted to show me tadase?" Asked amu. "Well Amu-chan this is one half part of it" answered tadase, "Then what is the other half?" questioned amu staring at tadase, All of a sudden a burst of shouts bursted in on the other side of the patio, "SURPRISE AMU-CHAN!" "*sigh* i don't believe it...its you guys...Kukai, Fujisaki, Rima...its great to see you guys here" said amu in shocked. "Hey Amu-Chan long time to see huh" said kukai, "Its been awhile hasn't it Amu-Chan" said fujisaki, "All for one, One for all together again Amu-Chan" said rima. "Wow this is like a reunion here...thanx guys and thank you too tadase" said amu as she walks up to him and gives him a hug and smiled, "but wheres Yaya didn't you invite her as well, just wanted to see her face again". Then everyone went silent and stared down at the ground like if something terrible had happen, "Whats the matter guys did i say something wrong or what?" asked amu looking at his friends. "Amu-Chan...Yaya isn't with us anymore" answered kukai, "what do you mean not with us?" asked amu,"Yaya...is a grown person now...she dosn't live here anymore amu-chan...neither does she" answered fujisaki. "Oh...Im sorry to hear that...wait a minute what do you mean grown up...isn't she still the same?" Asked amu. "This is why i brought you here Amu-Chan" said Tadase as he took a seat. "Sit Down Amu-Chan we are gonna talk about something related to her and everything going on now" questioned tadase.
"O..K" said amu chan as she seated down next to tadase; "Well as of now We are tracking down the colprit that attack us from the ally way remeber that amu-chan" asked tadse. "Yea i do but what gives", "Well we don't known them yet but what we do know is that they still people Guardian chara out of their heart and people will start acting more adult like hood when it does but not known why they are doing with them", "Oh...You mean the Guardian chara we just talk about little people in eggs" answered amu. "Uh,yea thats the one amu-chan...anyway there is a lead about their hideout and been observing them months now before your arrival, we know that their taking guardian heart eggs from pure people who has strong hearts and Yaya was one of them" said tadase. "Oh My So your telling me that Yaya is somehow not herself and being shown as an adult huh tadase?" asked amu. "If you put it that way why yes amu-chan but theres more to it...even now and then when an egg heart is taken from a persons inner-self, their personality begins to change rapidly and so does their age, So there is something that does not fit in why thoes colprits will actually wants to steal a person egg heart and change a life beings lives, Til now we have a way to infultrate their hideout and find out the truths ourselfs...thats why we need your help to amu-chan" Asked Kukai. "I..I don't understand why you need me on this guys" asked amu, "The reason is that we need some reinforcements to do this mission instead of four of us and you might have the oppertunity to know the facts about why they wanted you capture in the first place...don't worry about that part we can cover you at every corner at anytime amu-chan trust us on this" answered rima. "I don't know...but if this is something important to you guys then im in...i need to know the truth about this and wanted to stop this before anyone gets hurt including me...so you can count me in guys" Answered amu in confidance. "Well that settles it then, tommorow we all meet here to tell you more info about our mission and our objective of it but now we all just go home and get some well reserve rest...especially the welcoming of amu-chan so let give her an applaued that she's here and we The Guardian are back in town" said tadase in excitment. "Welcome Back Amu-Chan", Answered everyone while clapping. Amu Smiled to the guardians and moments later everyone started to leave with waves of good-byes til tommorow has come.
Later that evening Amu arrived at her home all tired but yet exited but when she entered her room, she saw a person laying at her bed reading one of her shojen jump magazine...it was Ikuto.
"I..Ikuto What are you doing here in my room...and how did you get in?" Asked Amu in confused. "Amu There is something you need to know...There is a Traitor Upon You".
Chapter 9- The Ambush [Published: October 10, 2009]
"Wha...What do you mean traitor ikuto...and How the hell did you get into my room anyway" said amu as she stood at the door in front of her room staring at ikuto. "what im saying amu is that someone thats closest to you is a spy" said ikuto closing the magazine. "Huh...What are you actually talking ikuto...a spy...what are you trying to say anyway your not making sense at all". shouted amu. "Hmph...thought by now you could've guessed it...but since you ask there is someone spying you from the beginning when you first arrive here unexpectly or that this was all plan by someone who knew". asked ikuto. "Wha...I don't understand what do you mean a spy...this is insane ikuto even you are" answered amu. "Insane Amu...or is it coincendence that i know that you would be in the first place and reuniting with your guardian friends over at the so called secret gardens" said ikuto. "What the...How do you know about this ikuto...i think your the one who is the spy here spying at me anwhere i go, this is sick don't you understand private privacy" shouted amu. "Oh you think im the spy...Hmph it could be you, it could be me, it could be anyone closest to you who's pretending but im not the spy here...im here for one reason...and thats Protecting you Amu" answered ikuto. "Oh really...then how come you're never around when im needed the most back in the day, how do you know all this, and why do you keep appearing out of nowhere spooking me off like that?" asked amu. "Hmph...first of all you do realize im a lone guy have no family and nowhere else to go so i live out in the streets", "Oh im sorry to here that"; "Second that is classified at the moment and third i though you would knew by now about my special power" said ikuto. "Don't tell me...you have a guardian chara too" asked amu, "So your memories are finally regaining or is it someone that ask you that question amu" answered ikuto. "so what if i am regaining i still know some of it but not all...why's that ikuto answerd me that" said amu. "That i could say but i don't want to talk about it...but i know is that tadase told you all this and that they are planning to make an ambush to the enemy i see" Answered ikuto. "Yea so what if tadase is planning an ambush, what makes you say that" said amu. "Well it looks like you need some back up, you don't know who you are dealing with the enemy" said ikuto. "So...You know who the enemy is ikuto...tell me who" said amu as she saw ikuto walking out the balcony, "In time being amu you'll soon find out...til then watch out i'll be watching you amu" ikuto soons jumps out. "Wait Ikuto!!" amu rushes towards her balcony but when she arrived ikuto was gone, "Just what are you telling me
this ikuto", said amu in her head. "Just What".
"Allright is Everyone here" asked tadase as he counts out inside the secret garden, "Yep we are all here tadase" Responded Kuakai standing beside tadase; "Good...then heres the plan, we all will infultrate an old office building thats twelve blocks away but me and kukai will show you, after that You, Rima, and Fujisaki will team up together and sneak in behind the building, kukai here has the map inside so he'll guide you, while me and amu will sneak in the front un-notice and i also have a copy of a map, once inside we will stay in our groups and find their leader inside and once we find him we will attack him destroying him but also if they fight us we fight back no matter what but this ends tonight and can't afford to lose since we got amu in our side". Amu is puzzled about tadase plans about the ambush, "Uh tadase...i don't understand why we have to split up, why can't we just all stay together tadase, it sounds pretty dangerous just the two of us and three of them", "Well Amu-chan, im the most skillful one here in the team and so tops kukai here, its best that we both split up into teams so incase that if we get ambush, we'll be ready and im here to protect you amu-chan" answered tadase; "Any other questions amu-chan?...Anyone?...Ok then it settles then, we shall move out and get in positions, guardians all for one and one for all, this ends tonight". "YEA!" shouthed Rima,fujisaki,and Kukai except amu who is not sure while everyone starts to leave the secret garden. "Hey Amu-Chan are you comming everyone is heading out now" said tadase standing outside the secret garden, "Uh...Yea Tadase just thinking about something" said amu as she starts to walks out, "like what are you thinking" ask tadase, "Um...its nothing really just some things i have in my mind thats private and can't tell why you know" answered amu with a lie. "Allright then amu-chan if you want something then tell me and im always there to be with you" responded tadase as he smiles to amu as they both walk out the secret gardens."I hope what he's doing is right, i got a bad feeling about this" said amu in her head.
Chapter 10- The Awakening [Published: Oct 24, 2009]
Well here it is...the enemy's territory" said tadase as he points an old warn out office building with glass broken from outside and an odd eerie feeling that seemed like if the place was haunted. "In there, We would find the guys in black hoods including their leader thats running them, might be a tough mission but we need to know the truth and put a stop into this once in for all...so are you ready guys, when we start there is no turning back?" asked tadase, "Ready whenever your ready tadase" said kukai and so agreed the others except amu. "How bout you Amu-chan?" asked tadase, "Lets just get it over with it, i just want to end this so i and no one else would get hurt, Lets just Go" answered Amu. "Ok Gang Lets Split up like we plan" said tadase as he stick his hand out "Together as a Team we shall prevail, Us Guardians will protect and save the world once more, All for one and one for all" "AYE!" shouted everyone as they to stick their hands out and High Fly their hands up in the air. "Move Out and Good Luck Everyone" said tadase as everyone started to run at their positions while tadase and amu both stayed behind, "well amu, lets go" asked tadase, "Right Lets" answered amu as they both ran towards the front of the abandoned building.
As they Enter Inside with stealth, all that could they see a giant hallways surrounded by mold walls and cracked celling,"Wow look at the size of the building tadase, its HUGE...and Creepy as well, are you sure the black hooded Persons and the one that attack us be here?" asked tadase as they both arrived at the building front door; "According to Kukai report before we arrive, they should be inside somewhere in there, though its a big place and we got no map or whereabouts of there leader, so we both gotta have a watch ourselfs for whatever we enconter" answered tadase as he explains. "here amu-chan take this" said tadase as he gives amu a pistol, "what...what do i need this for?" asked amu; "since your the only one who doesn't have any powers in you nor how to realease it, its best if you could have that gun, but that ain't no ordinary gun, thats a De-Rezzilizer" answered tadase. "Whats a De-Rerebababalizer" asked amu, "A De-Rezzilizer your weilding is a special kind of weapon that has very powerful magic, if fired on any object, that object will immideate Disappear without leaving a trace forever, so you better keep that in mind don't fire toward any one of us, only the enemy, got it amu-chan" answered tadase; "Yea i got it" said amu looking around the building and see how almost complete dark is and only some light comes out of broken windows. "well amu-chan shall we look around and search the rooms around this place" asked tadase, "Hmm Hmm" Amu nodded yes.
"Well Nothing on both floors" said tadase as he and amu searched every room from top to bottom whithin an hour and found nothing but more empty rooms,then tadase picks up his walkie talkie and asked kukai, "How bout you Kukai, any sign of them back there?"; "No Sign of Life nor anything suspecious here tadase, call you whenever we found anything, over and out" responded kukai as tadase stand and thinks. "Face it Tadase, We Check every Room in this Building, and all we gotten is Empty rooms fill with Nothing but Cob Webs, More Broken Windows, Creaked floors, and small creature, but not one we found them nor the leader, it seems like the whole building is Empty and hasn't been use for years, where else could they be tadase?" said amu seemiling all tired and frustrated. "Hmm...well there is one part of the building we havn't look'd but i doubt it might be dangerous" "And what that might be tadase?"; "The Basement Amu-Chan" answered tadase back and forth in conversation.
"Aw Men Tadase, Are you sure we should go down there, seems pretty dark going down there" asked amu as they stood beside the entrance toward the basement which was dark and eerie sounds of wind; "Well this is the only we havn't checked yet" answered tadase looking down the basement stairs; "What if something horrible is down their and we don't know what to do" "only One Way to Find out" answered tadase as he starts walking down the stairs followed by amu behind, "Hey Wait up, Don't Leave me here alone". Down Below as they follow the stairs, was dark and narrow while above they could see the glimpse of light from the top of the builing but nothing below could see well, "Don't worry im prepared for this type of situation" said tadase as he Takes his arm out and out of nowhere pop out his royal staff and lit the room abit bright," now lets continue on and stand by-myside amu-chan" An Hour has Passed and the basement seemed like endless in darkness while the staff of tadase still lighting up while moving with sounds of their footsteps making it a eeire
feeling, then they stop in one of the rooms to take a break, "Man im exchusting tadase, it feels like we've been down here for days, have ya contact with kukai and the others?" asked amu sitting down on a rock, "Not a Word have i contact Kukai on the W.T; just static and No Word From the othersas well" answered tadase walking around with the Walkie Talkie trying to contact with kukai. As they Rested for awhile then all of a sudden they heard loud footsteps away from them.
"What was that?!!" frightned amu as she jump up from the noise she heard. "Something tells me were not alone, Amu-chan i want you to stay right here and stand guard while i look around, don't worry i'll be back just gonna be awhile so don't move amu-chan" said tadase, "ok tadase, but don't go to far and be-careful" said amu as she sees tadase walking away from the light he left behind. Amu is now left alone as she tugged herself in the light and not heard from tadase for half an hour and fear that something bad might of happen, but she could'nt leave cause of a promise he left and its to dark to go out and look for him with each hall felt like a maze, "What should i do, should i go after tadase and check if he's allright, or should i stay here and wait for who knows who?" asked amu in her head thinking, "Oh if somehow i could just have something to help out and not stand here and do nothing" amu closes her eyes and preys "Please... Someone make me strong and brave enough to help out my best friend, PLEASE!!" then all of a sudden a voice is heard, "don't worry amu-chan were right along side ya". Amu open her eyes and saw 3 small chibi person, one with pink hair and cloths whith a pink cap, the other one with blue hair and blue wearing artistic cloths, and finally one with green blonde hair but green gurment, "We're finally get to see you again Amu-Chan" said the red one; "Ran...Miki...Su..."
Chapter 11-Heart Unlock [Published December 12, 2009]
"I...I can't believe my eyes...its it really you guys?" asked amu shocked to see three mysterious small people floating in front of her. "well amu-chan check your eyes again cause hot red ran is in the house" said ran; "and don't forget me the blue artistic miki", said miki; "and me to the mean green cooking machine su" said su as she smiles; "AND TOGETHER WE ARE... AMU GUARDIAN CHARAS!" said all together in a dynamic entrance. Amu tears suddenly flow from her eyes, " Ran...Miki...Su...I Can't believe its you guys, i thought that i lost you guys since the...ahhh the incident that happen in easter, now i remeber its all comming together now the searching, the return to my hometown, the day and time, this is really turning out something happy". "Aw don't cry Amu-chan cheer up were here and we would never let you down" said Ran as she tries to cheer up amu; "Yea Amu-chan we are gonna stand by your side now" said Miki as she also tries to cheer amu up; "even though we were gone for a long time now amu-chan, things will never change and we are always be there with you" said Su as she also joins in to cheer up amu. "Thanks Guys its no wonder i got the best guardian charas ever" answered amu as she wipes her tears and smiles happly, then suddenly amu just remeberd about tadase, "Hey guys i just remebered i gotta go check what was that sound and see if tadase is allright, what do ya say, go for one last adventure together?" asked amu. "You know that i am ready for anything amu-chan" said Ran all exited, "You can Count Men in Ready to Draw" said Miki also exited, "whenever there something this exited im always gonna stand beside and on to the adventure amu-chan" said Su also going along with both Ran and miki.
Amu then nods and takes tadase lit staff and walks down in a long dark narrow hallway with her charas floating beside her looking around to find tadase. Minutes has past and each one they could only hear amu footsteps echoing the long empty dark hallway and the lit of tadase staff only a little inch could see only front of amu feet and nothing in front but suddenly a loud sound what sounded like a tadase scream is heard off distance and amu know that tadase is in trouble, so amu rush and navigate where the scream came from. As Amu Rush Towards and navagates through the entire hallways, she ends up at the end in a large empty hallways fill with un-lit candles and found herself standing in the middle of the room looking around hear nothing as the scream stopped where she's at, "strange i thought for sure i heard it from tadase scream right where im standing" asked amu herself as she looks around and sees nothing but a big cold empty room surrounded by un-lit candles, the long dark hallway stands behind her, and the lit staff that tadase left behind including amu guardian charas still standing beside her telling her that there is no sign of tadase anywhere; then suddenly a voice is spoke out of nowhere,"we have been expecting you Hinamori Amu".
"Who...Whos There?" asked amu as she looks around to see and hear the voice that was comming from, but she wasn't alone," hmph tell me about it she's the one that caused me trouble to get" said another voice,"well well amu looks like there is no way out now" said another voice seen nowhere as amu still looks around. "Who's there, Show Yourself" shouted amu trying to call out the voices, then suddenly a figure appread out of the darkness up in front of her, it was tadase. "Tadase its you, do you hear the voices around here, they know my name and i've been looking for you" said amu talking to tadase but he wasn't speaking, "Tadase?" asked amu again trying to call out, but then tadase responded in a sad mood, "im sorry Amu-Chan". "what are you saying tadase?" asked amu, when suddenly something grabbed amu and trapping her in a cage, "what the...What the hell is this...tadase whats going on why aren't you helping me", then suddenly another voice is heard,"He won't and he belongs to us now", suddenly out popped out a person wearing a black robe and his face was familer to amu, "You, Your the Priesident of the Easter" said amu.
Chapter 12- Heart Unlock: The Final Battle [Published Dec 26, 2009]
i dis-continue the story from point because i haven't finished it and been busy so srry guys, However Since i Can't Finish the story i Want You To Finish the Story of How it ends in this Epic Battle, Can Be Anything that you can think of Its Your Ending Story so You can Either Posted to Share or in your head, but i would like thank you on reading the rest of my Story and Hope You Like it ^^
For Friends and For Tommorow Online/Offline ??:??
AWESOME! KEEP WRITING MORE!
well i haven't read the story yet because i personally think that it's hard to read it.
if i may suggest as a fellow fanfic writer, you might want to organize the chapters better.
put more paragraphs, and when you're putting up a name (like amu and tadase), try to write them this way: Amu and Tadase. so people can distinguish between a word and a name.
also, i spotted some grammar errors, typos, and incomplete sentences.
eg: ['He didn't responded' should be 'He didn't respond'] ['replyed' should be 'replied']
my advice: when you write, use Microsoft Word. It helps you in getting the write grammar and fixes your typos. ALOT. don't write in the text box provided by CR. they only help your typos occasionally and not fixing your grammar errors.
sorry if i sound like a critique, but i don't want you to fall to the same mistakes that i've done before
if you feel like improving yourself more, go to www.fanfiction.net and post your stories there.
there are a lot of great helps out there who're willing to give people like you and me useful inputs XD!!