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Do you feel that at times a student has a bad behaviour because of parents?
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20 / F / There.
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Posted 6/18/12
at times, yes
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47 / F / Mid-Atlantic
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Posted 12/1/12
Yes, w/o a question! Whenever I go out to a restaurant, a store, anywhere in a public setting I am constantly amazed by the lack of parenting skills expressed by modern day parents. Every parent seems to want to be there child's friend not their parent. Almost every little child is whining or screaming or just running around like a banshee. Do parents now a day know how to set limits and hold firm to them? I have a friend who works within the educational system of the wealthiest county in the U.S. and she feels the same way about her teenage students. So yeah, if children aren't raised with morals and a sense of appropriate behavior they act as they are raised.
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Posted 12/7/12

JasonGriffee wrote:


Boganis wrote:

Yes, w/o a question! Whenever I go out to a restaurant, a store, anywhere in a public setting I am constantly amazed by the lack of parenting skills expressed by modern day parents. Every parent seems to want to be there child's friend not their parent. Almost every little child is whining or screaming or just running around like a banshee. Do parents now a day know how to set limits and hold firm to them? I have a friend who works within the educational system of the wealthiest county in the U.S. and she feels the same way about her teenage students. So yeah, if children aren't raised with morals and a sense of appropriate behavior they act as they are raised.


Thank you. I've said this for a long time, parents are the issue. If your precious little snowflake isn't given proper instruction early in life, they grow up to be a real menace.

I knew a kid when I was in middle school that was protected from the school by his parents. Never got in trouble because his parents would see to it that there was always some protection for him. Never raised him right. I knew even then he was looking at a long life of crime. Learned a few weeks ago that he's currently in lock-up for domestic battery. Called it.


Have you ever noticed how all of the pseudo universities/colleges advertising on the internet/TV are pushing their criminology courses? And if I recall the text I read in Business Insider, one of the top industries for job growth included police/crime lab work/prison, go figure. A study done back in 2005-6 took 5000 parents and asked them if they had the choice to make over would they have children again. The answer was 85% +/- (sorry too tired to look-up the correct percentage actually believe it was 86 or 87%) would not have children if they had the choice to make over again. These are the people raising the next generations. This isn't to say that there isn't any hope for the future, I'm not a fatalist, but I find that a larger percentage of people in the present expect everything to be given to them. It seems that over-privilege or government hand-out s have made the U.S. society complacent and lazy.

You are completely correct in your assessment, if a child isn't instructed in how to behave like a human being, then they won't.
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Posted 12/14/12

JasonGriffee wrote:


Boganis wrote:

Have you ever noticed how all of the pseudo universities/colleges advertising on the internet/TV are pushing their criminology courses? And if I recall the text I read in Business Insider, one of the top industries for job growth included police/crime lab work/prison, go figure. A study done back in 2005-6 took 5000 parents and asked them if they had the choice to make over would they have children again. The answer was 85% +/- (sorry too tired to look-up the correct percentage actually believe it was 86 or 87%) would not have children if they had the choice to make over again. These are the people raising the next generations. This isn't to say that there isn't any hope for the future, I'm not a fatalist, but I find that a larger percentage of people in the present expect everything to be given to them. It seems that over-privilege or government hand-out s have made the U.S. society complacent and lazy.

You are completely correct in your assessment, if a child isn't instructed in how to behave like a human being, then they won't.


Not so much, it has faded a bit where I live.

One thing I wonder is how many parents don't discipline their children out of fear of being reported as a "child abuser". One or two swats with the open hand won't kill them, yet parents are afraid of being sent to prison for teaching their kids right from wrong. Kids are not stupid, they know how to use this fact as a threat.

I'm not here to debate parenting styles, I don't have kids. All I know is that parents need to do something to get their kids under control.


Like you I don't like to raise ire on this subject, every kid has a different personality and each parent needs to discover there own style of discipline, preferably humane but for some kids other alternatives might be rational (lol). To answer your question though, I remember the only time I ever had to chastise one of my kids physically in public, I swatted my son on the backside, open handed, and after two verbal warnings. He was a toddler in diapers so it hurt me much more than it hurt him. He was shocked and embarrassed which caused him to howl loudly, but within 1-2 minutes he was quiet and behaved. The comments that transpired from the surrounding shoppers were ridiculous. People questioning if they should call the police, stating that I shouldn't spank my child, etc...but you know what, my son never threw a screaming temper tantrum in public again. I had good kids though. This took place almost 20 years ago, when child abuse was just starting to become a recognized issue. Unlike today where everyone seems to be a self-righteous prig. Kids need and want to push their boundries, it's how they learn, but if parameters aren't set, they won't learn.

It sounds like you have a few years before you will have to contend w/ these problems. You are correct about kids knowing how to use 911 as a threat against punishment, for years in the work place i heard countless tales of children calling the police on their parents.

One of my favorite quotes to this situation and societies as a whole is "One is often guilty by being too just" - Pierre Corneille
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Posted 12/22/12
sometimes
rdfury 
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36 / M / Oklahoma City
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Posted 12/22/12
Um... parents are 100% responsible for the behavior of their children. Want your child to not be a db? Don't act like a db! Its not rocket surgery.
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Posted 12/22/12

JasonGriffee wrote:


Boganis wrote:

Like you I don't like to raise ire on this subject, every kid has a different personality and each parent needs to discover there own style of discipline, preferably humane but for some kids other alternatives might be rational (lol). To answer your question though, I remember the only time I ever had to chastise one of my kids physically in public, I swatted my son on the backside, open handed, and after two verbal warnings. He was a toddler in diapers so it hurt me much more than it hurt him. He was shocked and embarrassed which caused him to howl loudly, but within 1-2 minutes he was quiet and behaved. The comments that transpired from the surrounding shoppers were ridiculous. People questioning if they should call the police, stating that I shouldn't spank my child, etc...but you know what, my son never threw a screaming temper tantrum in public again. I had good kids though. This took place almost 20 years ago, when child abuse was just starting to become a recognized issue. Unlike today where everyone seems to be a self-righteous prig. Kids need and want to push their boundries, it's how they learn, but if parameters aren't set, they won't learn.

It sounds like you have a few years before you will have to contend w/ these problems. You are correct about kids knowing how to use 911 as a threat against punishment, for years in the work place i heard countless tales of children calling the police on their parents.

One of my favorite quotes to this situation and societies as a whole is "One is often guilty by being too just" - Pierre Corneille


You will see this ignorance more and more. Parents today are so bound by culture's worthless "live and let live" mentality. Kids have to have structure and discipline. If left unchecked, it will only lead to further moral degradation in society.


Hello again JasonGriffee. Don't you think this "live and let live" attitude is just a roll over from the 1960's that never escaped our culture. As beings we constantly seem to want to place ourselves on a pedestal convincing ourselves that we as a whole are intelligent, humane, and rational creatures, but we aren't we're far from it. Yes everyone will compare themselves to to our predecessors or animals, but i have never thought this a model conducive to judging our maturity as a species. Everyday we all witness these fallacies disproven and for some reason we seem to not want to admit the evidence. The "live and let live" belief is wonderful but will only work when humans learn to think and behave in a multidimensional not a linear perspective. Our lack of understanding, logic, and kindness is constantly witnessed here alone within the CR forums, egos run amuck, aggressive behavior, and just plain cluelessness. Me included. Until individuals learn to govern themselves there cannot exist a peaceable live and let live.
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47 / F / Mid-Atlantic
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Posted 12/23/12 , edited 12/23/12

JasonGriffee wrote:


Boganis wrote:
Hello again JasonGriffee. Don't you think this "live and let live" attitude is just a roll over from the 1960's that never escaped our culture. As beings we constantly seem to want to place ourselves on a pedestal convincing ourselves that we as a whole are intelligent, humane, and rational creatures, but we aren't we're far from it. Yes everyone will compare themselves to to our predecessors or animals, but i have never thought this a model conducive to judging our maturity as a species. Everyday we all witness these fallacies disproven and for some reason we seem to not want to admit the evidence. The "live and let live" belief is wonderful but will only work when humans learn to think and behave in a multidimensional not a linear perspective. Our lack of understanding, logic, and kindness is constantly witnessed here alone within the CR forums, egos run amuck, aggressive behavior, and just plain cluelessness. Me included. Until individuals learn to govern themselves there cannot exist a peaceable live and let live.


I trace it back to the 1940's, when Dr. Benjamin Spock decided that corporal punishment was wrong. A childhood later (1960's), and it all hits the fan. Now we have multiple generations of "I'm special" raised children who wouldn't know proper behavior to save their life.

This is worsened with modern psychiatry labeling this crass behavior with a condition*. Oppositional Defiance Disorder? Give me a freaking break. Maybe if mommy didn't drink, she'd see the kid for the spoiled brat they are.

* I am not a doctor, and cannot give professional advice.


I figured it was Dr. Spock, just tried not to infer his name because to me he has always been next in line to the antichrist. Good to know, took some psych classes back at university, as most do, so was aware of some of his theories, despised his naive beliefs and never looked back (as evidenced by much earlier comment on every child needing a different method of discipline, this belief was one of his, I cannot remember if study of him influenced me in these beliefs). I believe his book his became compulsive reading material for parents or parents to be in the 60's when he became politically active had i hoped it had died out, but saw that until 2000 the sales of his book "Baby and Child Care" were second only to the bible. Now I understand why everyone is so screwed up. Brought up a question with a friend today about something that ties into this so maybe I'll read his texts, my friend is 2+ decades my senior w/ a background in the field of special education and child psych., has had a family, so I deemed her aware on this topic. I asked her about when she was growing up, did kids or young adults blame their parents for their their failings as they do now. And yes I admit to this fault, implicitly but I also admit to my share of the blame. But as I had concluded this behavior seemed to trend with my generation and a couple years earlier and has now grown into a runaway asteroid tearing everything apart and probably largely influences this ridiculous want to save every criminal and give them a 2nd chance, which has DESTROYED our legal system. My friend said that when she was young (teens on) kids seemed to have the attitude that they took what they were given, and didn't look back. She couldn't remember anyone she knew ever blaming their parents for any of their problems in life. People were just raised to take responsibility for themselves, the difference between a child and an adult.
You might find this amusing or not. Earlier today the abovementioned friend and I went to see "The Hobbit", then went to pick up groceries which each of us needed for the holiday. While shopping we were standing in an isle and heard this loud outburst of a child telling obviously a parent F### YOU. My friend jumped slightly and a gentleman in his 50's nearby was evidently shocked. My friend started to ask me if she had heard what she had heard and I just shook my head yes, we all looked at each other and moved on. I am normally not a person to intercede in anyone else's business because typically I really just do not care, but my good mood had been vandalized by this miscreant and I have a sadistic nature. Four isles over we pass this family on our way to check out, still fighting w/ his mother, so I commented to the mother, I won't call the police if you want to smack him, as we passed the isle probably 20-30 ft. from were they were arguing and we continued across the store and had covered approx. 300 ft. from the isle that the family had standing in when, I heard this woman coming up behind me loudly asking me if I thought she should hit her child. I told her that was her choice. She then starts yelling at me " you don't understand what he's been through in the past year, to which I replied, I don't care. Then the ubiquitous, you should keep out of other peoples business, to which she and her family had given me the right by publicly swearing so that people four isles away could hear. I turned back to finding an isle to check out in and she grabs my cart, to stop me and regain my attention, I just looked at her and told her to take her hands off my cart. She melted away and apparently regrouped with her brood, I suppose trying to impress her children. Now she comes up yelling at me, so you think hitting kids is alright, I told her that I had spanked my kids and they had turned out perfectly well. Oh god did all he## break loose then, she's ranting like a chaotic looney, oh yeah your kids are perfect , to which I replied no but they never cursed at me in public and I finally told her that if she didn't move away from me I would have her removed from the store. It was ugly! By this time everyone is staring. These are the nut cases perpetuating the species, she had 4. Had to take friend for a drink. Thanks lady...woman for being so stupid. When I made the original comment I had been thinking that I hoped the kid would grasp the subtlety of the comment as a cause for embarrassment, man was I way off on that one. As to my comment yesterday on humans thinking multidimensionally, I fell short on the parent not getting the point. I'll admit I did mean the comment as a slight barb for the parent but come on! What blows my mind was she wasn't even embarrassed for herself or her family another self-righteous idiot.
By the way thanks for the bit on Oppositional Defiance Disorder, will read up on during my break. I don't agree with many of the modern psychiatric theories. For ex. addictions being an illness, have met and known slews of addicts, even family members. People it is a weakness in your self control and low self esteem. If you really want to overcome it you will, if not, it's your choice. I'm not saying that the body (especially for some) isn't possibly sensitive to specific chemicals but I have yet to know a strong-willed person who couldn't overcome their obstacle.
MERRY CHRISTMAS OR HAPPY HOLIDAYS JASON
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47 / F / Mid-Atlantic
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Posted 12/23/12

JasonGriffee wrote:


Boganis wrote:

^Previous Post^



Perfect example:

We have the family over this year, including one of my step-nephews who is the definition of "ADHD". Sometimes he can be like a cheetah on speed. I don't know if he's medicated or not, but from what I've seen it's nothing but junk food for this kid. I point out that he and his sisters are raiding the dessert tray (Hours after dinner), and mom says she won't be picky on what they eat because it's the holiday's. Like I'm a total idiot. Any nutritionist with half a brain will tell you that the mind needs good wholesome food, just like the body.

Hours earlier, he's playing a game with one of his sisters. She's losing because she hasn't figured out how video games work quite yet. She snaps and demands that her brother share some of the points. She claims he's cheating. (Thinking: No, you just don't know how to play).

It's insane that kids are hard wired to think that life is always fair, and everyone should share. Guess what, in the real world, you get what you earn. You want that first place trophy, sit down and practice.


Don't you think this is one of the most outrageous problems within society today? Everyone feels they should be GIVEN everything that they want. And this one is the big kicker, have you heard of the recent (not sure when it started I think sometime in the last 2 years) thing, Birthdays, they're not just for the birthday boy or girl anymore. Many invitations are requesting that the sibling(s) need a gift as well. Because they need to feel special as well. Don't these people understand that they're taking what should be important day from one child and spoiling the other(s)? When my guys were young, the one credo I verbally tried to beat into their heads was that life is not fair. I'm not sure that they have forgiven me for being so harsh with them, but I know 1 has overcome a difficulty or two of life and seems to take on the challenges with a great deal of fortitude. Why don't a large majority of people understand that the efforts in life are what build your character into a well rounded and strong person? The stupidity of our race is what has interested me into these forums. I wouldn't be surprised if i irritate a lot of people, but I don't get the opportunity to interact w/ a large diversity of people which gives me a short sighted view too often. And I just enjoy learning from other peoples thought. I have thoroughly enjoyed conversing with someone who seems to have a logical mind and sees many of the same contemptible errors our species is making. The average person doesn't see that we aren't as brilliant as we all think we are.
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Posted 12/24/12
Yes. In my opinion, kids learn from the people in their environment and by example. If the parent is walking around, cussing and yelling and fighting, what are the kids likely to do? Follow their lead.
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Posted 5/25/13
Spring forum cleaning! To keep the forums neat and tidy we only keep 6 months worth of threads since its May 25, 2013 [5/25/13] we will keep only keep posts open from December 25, 2012 [12/25/12]. Please feel free to recreate any thread closed, as long as someone else didn't open another similar one before you.
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