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Dear Diary...
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Posted 12/12/09
Yeah, I noticed and I was like ">w< That was me!"
But then I was all serious again because his replies made me upset =w=

GOOD!
Have confidence >:3
Yeah I get kinda insecure too sometimes =w=
But just around people who are obviously geniuses XD
lol actually that's not true XD
Really anyone who I don't know all that well.
But I dunno, I also approach strangers with a smile =w=
I think my confidence is schizophrenic =w=
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23 / F / What? Your mom di...
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Posted 12/12/09
Lol Embie-chan I do the same thing.

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Posted 12/13/09 , edited 12/13/09
Dear CR interactive diary:

I started my story last night, just like I said I would. I don't have much, just the two main characters. I'll warn you right now that I LOOOOVE symbolism <3. I honestly think it's one of the best storytelling elements ever thought up and it makes for a nice and deliciously twisted story. Keep an eye out for it when my story's posted because it will be EVERYWHERE. Ooh, another thing I like is foreshadowing. I like foreshadowing with symbolism. I may do that here and there... I dunno, though.

So I haven't checked to see if Alex has replied. He probably has, but I'm not ready to talk to him yet. I'll do it in a few minutes. I'm busy concentrating on other things.

I read a little more of that book today. It's getting into how to handle the different personality types and how when someone says something, people take it differently. I learned that "D's" (the main component of Alex's personality) tend to think about the "bottom line". They think "What". "S's" (the main component of my own personality) think "How" (I also have a lot of "I" in me, and "I's" think "Who").

An example can be seen in my argument with Alex. See how he's so stuck on the whole lying thing? He's stuck on WHAT I did. WHAT happened.

I, personally, am stuck on HOW to fix it.

See? It's that simple~

D's like domination. They like to be in control and tend to step on people if it gets the job done. Not to say that they're terrible people.. Just determined =). They're task oriented, not people oriented.

I also read today that opposites attract. "D's" are attracted to "S's" (and vice versa). Mostly because D's like to be leaders and S's tend to like to be followers. I'm really bad at being in charge . The reason why Alex can't understand me is that our minds just work in completely different ways. I focus more on people; What people want me to do, how people see me, how I can help people... Stuff like that. Alex focuses on stuff like... Like money (just an example); He has a goal, and is just so determined to reach it that even love isn't going to get in his way.

Anyway, it intrigues me to no end.

I actually looked through the people in my life as I was reading the book. I've rated Rachel as a high "D" (see what I mean about being attracted to D's? They're EVERYWHERE around me...); Doug is a High "I"; Robert is a high "I"; Andrew was difficult, as he isn't too good with people, but he doesn't really get things done too well, either. I rated him as mostly a "C", though. He probably goes into the "S" category at times too; Nick was difficult as well.. I put him in the C/S or C/D category.. He's not really outgoing or good with people, but he likes people.... I dunno.. I think he's mostly a C, with the way he thinks...; Danny is a high "D"; Cody is PROBABLY a high "C"; Casey is... Probably a D/I combination; Kohl is a high "C/S" combination.... And I think that's about everyone.....

Remember, though, no one is completely one thing. I say "high (insert letter here)" because that's what the MAJORITY of their personality seems to be. Not the whole thing, just most of it.

Right.. Well I'ma look at what Alex says now...


Stupid butthead: Ive never said or implied in any of my messages to you that i thought that this was just MY secret. Although if you thought it was your secret too you wouldnt have told it as quickly as you did and regardless, you should have also taken into account that it was least partly mine and told me you were gonna tell people before hand or at least let me be present. So you obviously didnt think of me in any way in this.

Meggie: Dammit Alex, I cannot believe you think I don't think about you. You have no... IDEA.

See, me being an "S/I" personality type, PEOPLE are CONSTANTLY on my mind. Alex moreso than most people, actually. He drives me crazy. Damn, maybe I needa read more of the book so I know how to deal with him. Hell, maybe HE needs to read the book. It might actually enlighten him a little bit. Freaking stupidhead.

I'm trying to just leave it, though.. I'm trying really really hard to let HIM do the fixing.. Because I always do it.. I dunno. I'll probably end up doing it again. It all depends on if he decides to hold this against me for very long.

I bought me another book yesterday. It's about Sherlock. I wanna learn a little about the man before I go see the movie. It's big, and it looks really really interesting. You know what they say: the bigger, the better!
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Posted 12/13/09
BLAAAHH.
Don't even FEEL like saying how I feel about Alex's response. You probably know anyways XD
SO I WON'T GET INTO THAT =w=
Or I might get angry =w=

@ Book :: I want this book, so I can see what I am =w=
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Posted 12/13/09
Lol I'm so confused with life right now... I've got a lot working against me =P. Not that I can't handle it, just that I'm lazy and I don't WANT to handle it. I will, though, because I'm not going to stop taking care of myself. Really, though, I can't tell you how tempting it is to leave something on the counter overnight and acquire myself some food poisoning so I can just sit back and quit thinking. I won't, but I want to. Ahh life is awesome. I love life.

I dunno what's up with me... I get this way a lot, lately. I think it's be just being emotionally exhausted. I'm tired of dealing with Alex because it doesn't feel like it's getting anywhere. So now while I'm anxiously waiting for him to reply back (doing that thing where I refresh the page every thirty seconds to see if he has)

He did, but I'll post it later because I'm leaving. Don't let me forget!
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23 / F / What? Your mom di...
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Posted 12/13/09
Embie-chan, you understand me well so I'd guess either an S or an I.
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23 / F / What? Your mom di...
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Posted 12/13/09
Well, he's going off again. I didn't actually read his entire message, because it was pretty negative and I didn't wanna deal with it. I'll do it later and post it then. He's going off about personality types, because I decided I didn't care what he thought and was talking to myself in his message. Anyway, I brought up S's and D's, and he's pissed because I called him a D and he thinks he's an I. He has a lot of I, but I see more of a D personality in him.
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Posted 12/13/09
What's with the symbolism again?
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Posted 12/13/09
@ Meg-chan :: whoot, I'mma "I" 8D
@ Life :: lol Life IS confusion. It's a given =w=
As long as we don't think about some things TOO much, and resist the urge to leave things out on the counter, we'll get through without too many scrapes and scratches.
As for Alex, I say he doesn't realize what he's lost by letting go of you, and he probably won't ever understand, if he keeps up like this. I'm not saying he can't change; just that if he DOESN'T, he's never going to understand how AWESOME you are ^^ Or how you think, which will make it impossible for him to understand YOU. And he'll lose his chance, when these feelings die down (if they do; it would suck to live with those feelings for the rest of your life and he moves on right quick DX) and you move on. I think you'll be able to, too.
Not saying you're shallow of course =w= Just that with time it'll hurt less and you'll find someone who WILL treasure you and deal with the quirks and understand what you're trying to say, and he'll be the guy that is a million times luckier than Alex >:D
Because Alex sucks if he can't understand these things DX

@ your Story, lol this is late :: OMG OwO I LUFF SYMBOLISM AND FORESHADOWING =D
I just can't write with them very well unless I think real hard =w=
I look forward to your story MORE now >:D I looovvee looking through and finding symbolism and foreshadowing >w<
lol just ask Koko-chan, I find foreshadowing in the littlest things in her stories and make up my own endings based on those =w=
They're almost always wrong XD
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Posted 12/14/09
Lol kay here's where the conversation has gone:

Alex: whether you think about me normally or not isnt the issue its the fact that you didnt when you should have, and when it was important to me

Meggie:I fail to understand you. Of course I was thinking about you or else I wouldn't have been so guilty right after I did it. Right, well YOU won't understand any of this, but I'm typing it for my own benefit:

Since you're a D personality, you're focusing on the "What"; the "bottom line". You're still just stuck on WHAT I did.

Me being an "S" personality, I'm focused on the "How"; How he will react; How he will feel; How he will respond; How to fix the problem. I'm stuck on HOW to repair this.

So now what do I do to get you to move off of this?

Hold on. I stated earlier that I wasn't GOING to think about you anymore, I was going to think about me (it's conflicting, but that won't stop me from trying). Right. So what do I want? Peace. I want peace and stability. I like to fix things; relationships are among my favorite things to fix. Which is weird, because I like stability. Maybe I like to fix other people's relationships. Not that I ever do....

My hell I'm confusing.. That's okay. It's easier than trying to figure YOU out.

I'd love to continue my rant, but I have to leave. I probably will continue later though.



Alex: Then you should have also thought about how i would feel when i found out you lied to me from someone else.Oh fuck no you did not just pull personality types on me. "YOU wont understand any of this" what the hell is that supposed to mean? No person is any one personality type first of all and second its a completely biased system that just picks parts of something that everyone has and puts it together. Its the pinnacle of stereotypical classifications in convenient situations. There is more than one thing that everyone thinks they are in every class, so when they're told that that is their group they accept it through logic and rhetoric. I know this because i found it interesting once upon a time and anything i find interesting i make a point to know about. I find it HIGHLY offensive that you think you have the right to put me in ANY kind of group let alone one that fits your purposes just to flame me.
ANY personality type can fit ANYONE
people just like to choose the one thats most convenient
I could say that im an "I" because I trust people and enjoy bringing out their best. And it would benefit me in this conversation because thats what its about ME TRUSTING YOU
or maybe i could say that you are definitely not an "S" because they are LOYAL and that again would benifit me because its a subpoint of what we are talking about.
Make your own argument not something based on scatology.


Meggie: Alex, you are a D because you are able to get things done really well. You're good at working and taking control. You like challenge and have a lot of confidence. And when you get determined, there's no stopping you. You're also outgoing and are good with people. I did neglect to say that I figured you as a mix of D and I. You trust people? Really? Coulda fooled me...

Having a D type personality would actually be really really convenient. It'd be nice to be the kind of person with a lot of motivation; someone who would get things done. D's don't always WANT to be the leader, but they make good leaders. D's have determination. I really admire the D type personality because it excels in so many areas that I don't. D's are task oriented and outgoing. The D type personality is really really stubborn. It's my way or the highway (forgive the cliche). D's are the type of people who are able to keep going down their path even if everyone else has turned from it. You are able to resist temptation better than I's or S's. All you want to do is spread your wings and fly. You want your chance to shine; to prove that you're.. I dunno.... Above average...?

The I type personality likes to talk. I's like to be around people. They're likely to be popular or class clowns.. Those types. They are outgoing and people oriented. They make really good sales people. The I type personality thinks "Who". "Who will be there?" and stuff like that.

I am an S because I am people oriented and more introverted than extroverted. I do move up into the I category when I'm dealing with a group of people, though. Yes, S's are loyal. I am loyal. I'm loyal to more than one person. Do you know one of the most inconvenient weaknesses that the S personality possesses? It's the inability to say no. He wanted an answer, and I couldn't tell him no.

You being a D, you think "What". Me being an S, I think "How".
Want an example?

You're still stuck on the fact that I broke the promise (which would be the "what" in this case) and I can't get off of how to fix it.

See Alex, I dunno if you've noticed yet, but you don't understand me. I think about people. People are my main focus. I don't MEAN to, that's just HOW I AM. I naturally lean towards trying to help people, usually with dealing with their emotions. I have a large emotional range and have felt things to the extreme. It enables me to be very empathetic towards people. I am insecure about nearly everything and I'm terrified to make people mad. I try not to be by telling myself things like "It doesn't matter. He can hate me. There's no reason for me to care."... Stuff like that. It's good for me, but it's me denying my instincts. I am a PEOPLE PLEASER. Just naturally. Being an S, I am highly indecisive because I subconsciously worry that my choices will hurt someone or upset them somehow. I panic and usually end up making the wrong choice. S type personalities need people to show appreciation. They thrive on it. I'm also quite a bit of an I, though. Not all the time, but I have certain qualities. Like fun. I like having fun and I can be loud at times. I's are usually pretty insecure. I type personalities need "Recognition". All I need is to be noticed sometimes. Not that I do things for attention, just that sometimes attention is what I need. The keyword to get an S type personality to listen to you is "help".


Truthfully, everyone has a little of D-I-S-C in them- that would be ALL the personality types. The extent just differs. I said you were a D, because that's what I see the most of. The next came I. then you might have a LITTLE bit of S and C...

I don't really CARE how much you think you're right, you have no idea what you're talking about with your "stereotypical classifications". Don't even TRY to argue with me when it comes to psychology. It's a subject that I feel at home with because I understand it.


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Posted 12/14/09 , edited 12/14/09
What does the D and S and C and the I all stand for?
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Posted 12/14/09
@meg-chan:-evil grimmjow smile&anime vain-can i kill alex now?IDK what the hell i am,all i care about is the frickin' fact of him being so GODDAMNFRICKIN'STUPD!WAIT NO HE'S WORSE THAN FREAKIN' STUPD!HE'S STUBBEREN!I DON'T GIVE UP EASLY,BUT THATS CUS I'M STRONG WILLED!AT LEAST I KNOW MY PLACE AND WHEN I'M WRONG!GODDAMMIT HE'S SO...RAWWR!WHY ARE PPL SO STUPD?WHY WHY WHY?GAH!THIS PISSES ME OFF! GAHHHHHH!!!*mumble mumble*
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Posted 12/14/09

Angelonius wrote:

What does the D and S and C and the I all stand for?


Well, they actually stand for multiple things.. Here, I'll just attempt to explain it.

draw a pie graph that's split in half horizontally.
The top half is outgoing and the bottom half is more introverted or reserved.

Now set that drawing aside and draw another pie graph that's split in half vertically.
Label the side on the left as "task oriented" and the side on the right as "people oriented"

When we put these two pie graphs together, we get a graph split into fourths:


Outgoing and task oriented. Outgoing and people oriented
Reserved and task oriented. Reserved and people oriented

D I S C

Everyone is actually a mix of these. The magical book says that people are usually 40% of one thing, 40% of another thing, and 10% of the two remaining categories.

D's are all about "go".. Not as in the game, as in they like to go. They're active and he gives a lot of good examples as people who play sports. They have a lot of determination and they get things done well. They are strong-willed, stubborn, independent, and headstrong. D's often think that EVERYONE should be that way and have the same amount of motivation and all that...

I's are all about fun. They are people oriented and outgoing. It's all about the looks and attention for them. Not in a bad way, just.. That's how they are. They like to be around people and work well with them. They have this way of lighting up a room..

S's are reserved and people oriented. The "S" word they use as an example is "Servant". Not like slave, like servant. S's are reserved and people oriented. It says in the book that S's are the best at putting themselves in other people's shoes. They're really good at relating to others emotions and stuff. A weakness of the S that I've mentioned before is the inability to say no. I mean, it's possible, but it takes a lot...

C's are introverted and task oriented. This is where you'll find really really smart people who just don't do that well socially. The book says that C's "Calculate". That's the way that they think. C's are a little harder to explain for me because I dunno if I completely have the concept down.

I am mostly S and I.
Alex is mostly D and I.

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Posted 12/14/09

anne117 wrote:

@meg-chan:-evil grimmjow smile&anime vain-can i kill alex now?IDK what the hell i am,all i care about is the frickin' fact of him being so GODDAMNFRICKIN'STUPD!WAIT NO HE'S WORSE THAN FREAKIN' STUPD!HE'S STUBBEREN!I DON'T GIVE UP EASLY,BUT THATS CUS I'M STRONG WILLED!AT LEAST I KNOW MY PLACE AND WHEN I'M WRONG!GODDAMMIT HE'S SO...RAWWR!WHY ARE PPL SO STUPD?WHY WHY WHY?GAH!THIS PISSES ME OFF! GAHHHHHH!!!*mumble mumble*


He's all yours~ <3
He's being stupid. Him thinking he understood the personality profile thing just made him look like an idiot.
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Posted 12/14/09

ember1116 wrote:

@ Meg-chan :: whoot, I'mma "I" 8D
@ Life :: lol Life IS confusion. It's a given =w=
As long as we don't think about some things TOO much, and resist the urge to leave things out on the counter, we'll get through without too many scrapes and scratches.
As for Alex, I say he doesn't realize what he's lost by letting go of you, and he probably won't ever understand, if he keeps up like this. I'm not saying he can't change; just that if he DOESN'T, he's never going to understand how AWESOME you are ^^ Or how you think, which will make it impossible for him to understand YOU. And he'll lose his chance, when these feelings die down (if they do; it would suck to live with those feelings for the rest of your life and he moves on right quick DX) and you move on. I think you'll be able to, too.
Not saying you're shallow of course =w= Just that with time it'll hurt less and you'll find someone who WILL treasure you and deal with the quirks and understand what you're trying to say, and he'll be the guy that is a million times luckier than Alex >:D
Because Alex sucks if he can't understand these things DX

@ your Story, lol this is late :: OMG OwO I LUFF SYMBOLISM AND FORESHADOWING =D
I just can't write with them very well unless I think real hard =w=
I look forward to your story MORE now >:D I looovvee looking through and finding symbolism and foreshadowing >w<
lol just ask Koko-chan, I find foreshadowing in the littlest things in her stories and make up my own endings based on those =w=
They're almost always wrong XD


Thanks you Embie-chan =)
Lol sorry for the late reply.
Unfortunately for me, he's the ONLY person I'm interested in like that and I guess I'll probably lose him. I agree that it will hurt less and less as time goes on.
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