A Certain Celebrity "Vampire" is Batty for Boys
21223 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 12/18/09
Suspected to be from either Twilight or True Blood or Vampire Diaries.
Also, don't guess Rpattz because it says in the article that they're well groomed.

This is obviously made up because... Well, just look at who wrote it. Come on. Anyway, let's guess!


No wonder so many gay men are gossip columnists: All these supposedly "straight" stars are constantly cruising us (and our friends) for sex!

And the latest celeb to daringly do so is one of the biggest, hunkiest vampire sensations out there right now. So much so, even I was shocked when a bud of mine, who gets off hunting around Griffith Park—a notorious area of L.A. where homosexual sex in the woods is rampant and a constant annoyance to the police—enjoyed what you're about to read.

He is as hot as he is adored by his millions of fans. His smoldering looks are talked about just as much as (if not more so than) his red-hot acting talents.

He simply smolders onscreen, what with his trance-like gaze and lithe, mildly muscled bod, which he keeps in shape by jogging through Griffith Park, wearing shorts but no...

...underwear, oh my!

I wonder if that's because He likes to be extra-free to whip it out, just in case he needs to take a whiz? Nah.
More likely, that lack of clothing constraint is due entirely to He's penchant for stopping a guy who catches his fancy on the trail so he can lure his conquest to a hidden path and then have hot, hot, hot sex under the sun! Something he's now done with my friend not once, but twice!

Love it! And people say Tiger's a slut! So glad Woods isn't the only celeb who's being supernaughty these days, what a relief.

"He's a real talker, too," adds his lucky path partner. "He kept saying, 'Yeah, do it, yeah, you like that, don't you, yeah, you like my ass?' "

Oh my. If only his gazillions of girlie worshippers could hear him talk. They'd either try to convert him or tell him to start talking dirty to them—or they'd stop being his fan—or both.

By the way, I'm sure if you've made it this far, you'll want to know the rest of the dirty deets, which are: Yes, he's endowed (longer than wider, to be precise), and yes, he's a very neat boy down there.

"Very groomed," was how his private parts were further described to me. Or to be even more precise (and gay): "Manscaped."

Hmmm. How very interesting, as this body-maintenance routine doesn't match the sometimes slightly grungy image Nelly likes to show off to the very unknowing public.

And It Ain't: Kellan Lutz, Brad Pitt, Ryan Kwanten


It's not Jackson Rathbone. It's not it's not it's not.
Ian Somerhalder?

And what is this magical homosexual park? Are there gay guys just on all fours waiting for it, scattered around the area? Maybe some in trees? Hoping some well-hung underwear-less jogger will come by and send them to heaven?

http://ca.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b158621_blind_vice_which_vampires_batty_boys.html (Nelly Fang is just a code name. So.)
Unaru 
75029 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / United States/Avalon
Offline
Posted 12/18/09
Wow.. that's pretty descriptive.
138 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / In the cookie jar~
Offline
Posted 12/18/09
I hope it's that Robert Pattinson He's so gay anyway,not like proving it for real would make a difference.....Robert fans plz don't start sending me hate messages now just cuz I called him gay...I used to be a Twilight(book) fan but that ugly guy just killed my interest.... yes I really hate him try and stop my dislike...anyways back on topic I think it's Robert..
21223 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 12/18/09

angelkake wrote:

I hope it's that Robert Pattinson He's so gay anyway,not like proving it for real would make a difference.....Robert fans plz don't start sending me hate messages now just cuz I called him gay...I used to be a Twilight(book) fan but that ugly guy just killed my interest.... yes I really hate him try and stop my dislike...anyways back on topic I think it's Robert..


But the article states that they're well groomed. Robert is anything but. D:
138 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / In the cookie jar~
Offline
Posted 12/18/09

Sekushi_Sushi wrote:


angelkake wrote:

I hope it's that Robert Pattinson He's so gay anyway,not like proving it for real would make a difference.....Robert fans plz don't start sending me hate messages now just cuz I called him gay...I used to be a Twilight(book) fan but that ugly guy just killed my interest.... yes I really hate him try and stop my dislike...anyways back on topic I think it's Robert..


But the article states that they're well groomed. Robert is anything but. D:


LOL...you caught me there....hmmmm.....don't know about the well groomed part but the gay is definitely a Robert..

4295 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Youtube!
Offline
Posted 12/18/09
Please let it be the guy from Twilight. PLEASE. My God, it's be comic gold!
Posted 12/18/09
ugh I don't care really anyway -.- today's generation ruined the concept of what's a vampire anyway.
I wouldn't be surprised if they're all gay from either show :3
54306 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Lakewood, CO
Offline
Posted 12/18/09
GAY!
13214 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
47
Offline
Posted 12/18/09
i dont know what's so hawt with these guys..but im sure my friends will growl at me if i tell them their fave vampires are gays (if it's true)
You must be logged in to post.