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Post Reply Perfection?
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Posted 12/26/09 , edited 12/27/09
wElc0mE t0 thE t0wn 0f 0AKS

"The town of Oaks was created in the fifteenth year after the Galactic Wars. Within it's walls, one will find the ideal environment. Crime is zero, education is superb, and everything is comfortable. If a citizen of Oaks were to venture outside the city, they would be horrified to see what the world outside is like...."




Story by Ember~
Perfection?

Enjoy~




pr0l0guE

The sun was beginning to fall below the horizon in Oaks.

Down the lanes and boulevards of the suburbs, the street lamps blinked on one by one, down a straight line and in perfect beat. There were no annoying bugs hovering around these lights.

No alley cats yowling at the rising moon, knocking over trash bins. No rats in the gutters, no cracks in the pavement, not a cloud in the sky. Everything was perfect in Oaks.

The Neighborhood Watch wasn’t needed; the people of Oaks didn’t know the meaning of crime. No doors had locks and no homes had gates or fences to keep neighbors out. Through speakers located on each road crossing, you could hear a soft but persistent, “Time, Eight O’clock in the evening. Time to go to bed if under the age of ten. Sleep tight, children. Time, Eight O’clock in the-”

On Beryllium Boulevard, a window flew open to let the cool evening breeze and the droning of the speakers in. Anyone standing outside the window would hear the sounds of the family as it prepared for bed.

The youngest member of the family, a toddling boy of two years, hugged his mother’s chest as she sat knitting and humming a lullaby. The melodic voice rose and dipped, pure elegance in itself. In minutes, the toddler was asleep, and the mother smiled sweetly, lifting him up in her arms to take to his thermo-crib for the night.

The twelve-year-old daughter sat doing her homework; Calculus and Quantum Physics. Her father read a perfectly crisp and unbent newspaper, smoking a pipe. When the mother sat back down, she took up her knitting again, and continued working on the pair of socks she was making her husband.

Through the open window, they could hear, “-your supplement pills. Time, Eight Oh Seven in the evening. Don’t forget to take your supplement pills.”

The mother, the father, the daughter, and all other inhabitants of Oaks stopped what they were doing, reached to their belts and pressed a button. A little pill, different in color depending on age, fell into their hands and they swallowed them, the younger members of the community with the aid of a glass of water.

All was perfect in Oaks.




chaptEr 0nE // waking up

Anthony opened his eyes in the middle of the night.

He looked around.

The gentle, night time droning from the little speaker in his room assured him of the time; three in the morning.

He turned over in bed, and closed his eyes. But sleep would not come.

After another few minutes, he reached over and pressed the little blue button on the under side of his bed and held his held his hand underneath to catch the pill that would have popped out. But it seemed he was out of supplement pills.

He sighed, and closed his eyes again.

It’s okay, sleep will come. Oaks has no flaws.

He was asleep again in minutes, lulled by the gentle droning of the speakers.

/ / / / / / / / / /

Anthony awoke again in a bit of a daze.

He sat up, looked around. The speakers told him it was seven-thirty and time to wake up and go to school.

He swung his legs over the edge of his bed, and stood up, rubbing his head.

This was odd. It wasn’t the normal painless waking; there was a sharp stabbing pain in his back when he bent it.

It must be because I missed my supplement pill… He checked the dispenser at his belt, and, sure enough, he had some more in there. They would never let us run out. He popped one of the little green pills into his mouth, and smiled peacefully.

But, was he just imagining it? Had he woken up last night? No, of course not. People don’t wake up in the night in Oaks.

He went on his way.

/ / / / / / / / / /

“Time, Eight-Fifteen in the morning. Students will be arriving at school at this time. Cars, watch for students. Students, kiss your parents goodbye. Time, Eight-”

Anthony poked his finger in his ear. Had the droning of the speakers always been this loud? It was almost as if he was just noticing that the sound was there, always in the background.

Mark and Bill fell into stride with Anthony. “Hello, Anthony,” they said with a wave.

“Hey guys,” Anthony grinned. He looked over at his friends, both with the same hairstyle as himself and all the other boys of their age. Neatly trimmed around the edges and straight.

"What is the schedule for class today?” Mark asked, looking down at the hallow-tablet each student was required to carry. He pressed the button on the bottom that read, “schedule.”

Bill read out loud. “Eight-thirty, arrive at home room. Eight-forty, begin Advanced Calculus. Nine-fifty, begin-”

Anthony sort of tuned his friends out. His head hurt, and he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around, seeing as if through new eyes.

The tall speakers on each corner seemed imposing, the sheer perfection of the town too perfect. This was all he had known, but there was something that was making him uneasy.

“Two-thirty, assembly on Careers… Anthony, why are you looking like that?” Mark and Bill were staring at him. ‘Are you okay,’ was not a question known in Oaks, for people were always okay.

Anthony smiled and nodded. “Ah, it’s nothing. Let’s get to school.” The high school boys nodded and walked off to school.

Running to avoid being late was also something unheard of in Oaks.

Everything was scheduled to perfection, so why need to run?




chaptEr tw0 // a man

Anthony had been working on a headache all day. Something had been bugging him all day. Was it the constant droning of those speakers, or was it the way everyone was acting?

He’d taken a total of three supplement pills since this morning in case that was the problem. They relieved the pain momentarily, but the pain came back sooner after each dose.

Anthony now sat in a line of other boys. They were all his age, all with the same hairstyle. An exactly equal number of girls the same age sat on the other side of the room.

The speakers were still going on, endlessly notifying the people of Oaks of the time and what they should be doing. “Time, Two-thirty in the afternoon. Students are to be in the presentation center for the Oaks Career Assessment Assembly. All people of Oaks must contribute when they leave school. Time, Two-thirty in the-”

Next to Anthony, Mark sat, and next to Mark, Bill. Anthony couldn’t help the thought; They’ve even chosen our friends for us haven’t they?

The thought didn’t even seem to be his own. It felt as if it had been implanted in his mind by another. He frowned.

“Students, welcome to the Career Assessment Assembly.” Every pair of eyes was on the man standing on the stage before them. “You have all reached the age of adulthood, and will therefore start making your contributions to the workings of Oaks. Based on the skills of each student, an occupation has been selected that will maximize your potential.” The man smiled a seemingly fake smile, and scanned the room. “You all will be proud of the work you do, and will be happy in the knowledge that, no matter what your occupation, you will be aiding your fellow Oakians.” He clapped once with that same smile, and finished, “All of you will line up in order to receive your jobs. Boys first, then girls, please.”

The front row of boys stood and filed toward the stage, followed by the next, and the whole left side of the auditorium stood, creating a wave-effect.

Anthony held his head a little as he stood, and popped another pill.

He looked out of place, standing there a little slouched and looking almost lost.

But he knew what this was. This was the day he, and every person under the age of seventeen, looked forward to. The day you received your job was the day you were an adult. And no person was ever dissatisfied with his or her job. It was chosen based on abilities, so everyone was successful in their field.

Before Anthony could prepare himself, he was next in line. The speaker in the auditorium buzzed in his ears. “Time, Three Oh Two in the evening. All people of Oaks must contribute-”

When Anthony stepped up to the man who was handing out job assignments and held out his card to be scanned, he had this weird feeling. His stomach felt as if it was turning around, and his palms were moist. He’d never felt nervous before.

“Here you are Anthony,” said the man with the same fake smile. “Tomorrow morning you are to report to the Oaks Center.”

Anthony tilted his head in slight confusion. He had been expecting something with math. The Oaks Center was where the Politicians were. That was where the rules were made and where the Mayor had his office.

But there were so many subsections of the building… Anthony’s job could be anything still.

/ / / / / / / / / /

On his way home from school that day, Anthony’s headache had gotten worse. He walked down the perfect sidewalks toward his perfect home. Surely once he got back home he would feel better. He probably was just getting too old for the green pills. It must be time for him to upgrade to the blue ones his elder brother took.

Yeah, that’s it.

He looked up when he heard the sound of a little boy humming to himself.

It was a tune Anthony’d never heard before. And the child was being odd, skipping and moving about so much, as if he were a madman.

An adult silently came up behind the child and lifted him off his feet. The child yelled and cried, but no body within hearing range even looked up. It was as if they couldn’t even hear him.

Anthony made to cross the street to where the little boy was being carried off, but stopped as his conditioned response made him pause; the child is okay, he just needs some more supplement pills. He nodded, smiling, but something was still off about this.

He shrugged it off and thought instead of his new mystery job at the Oaks Center.




More Soon~
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27 / M / Archangelus
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Posted 12/26/09
This story I like. Nice use of science fiction!!! =]
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Posted 12/26/09
lol, there's barely been any SciFi in it yet XD
Just you wait >:3
It's gonna get more Steam-Punk after this one thing happens in the story >:3
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Posted 12/26/09

ember1116 wrote:

lol, there's barely been any SciFi in it yet XD
Just you wait >:3
It's gonna get more Steam-Punk after this one thing happens in the story >:3


Yay for more sci-fi and steampunk!! =3
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Posted 12/26/09 , edited 12/26/09
interesting OwO
XD
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23 / M / Nowhere in partic...
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Posted 12/26/09
Oooh!

This wont end well

"Perfect" societies are death traps
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Posted 12/26/09

rhyck wrote:

Oooh!

This wont end well

"Perfect" societies are death traps


Indeed.
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Posted 12/26/09
lol, you get the gist of it I see =w=
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27 / M / Archangelus
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Posted 12/26/09
We both do.
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Posted 12/26/09
Haha, in english classes of the past, we read a few stories bout societies like this.

havnt read a modern one though, so i'm looking forward to it!
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Posted 12/26/09 , edited 12/26/09
I have also read about it in our Englsih language classes, although a lot less than you.
I'm also looking forward to more of this story.

The idea of a perfect society has been around since ancient times, as we all know. Of course, any perfect society is bound to have all sorts of problems pop up, hence disasters.
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Posted 12/26/09
Yeah, we did too.
You guys read Brave New World before?
That's the one that really stuck with me, thanks to the horrible ending DX

It was a REALLY thought-provoking piece, and very powerful, and really well written. But I still would have to say that the ending ruined it plot-wise for me =w=
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Posted 12/26/09
ah, the experience with utopias for me came from Fahrenheit 451 (or 541 or whatever)
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Posted 12/26/09
lol nope you got it right, it's 451
I haven't read that one yet.

And then of course there's The Giver and that other one by the same author, I think it was called Gathering Blue or something?
I read The Giver SOOOOO long ago though DX Can barely remember anything =w=
I just remember it was sad D:
Same with the other one.
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Posted 12/27/09 , edited 12/27/09
My experience with utopias gone totally wrong was the animated movie Metropolis. As far as dystpia goes, it's 1984.
Socialist and communist governments worldwide want to picture a utopia, but when put into practice, you see disasters unfold.

Of course, the way I make up for my lack of reading is to imagine what a utopia would really be like when applied to real life. Here's when socialism and communism come into account.
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