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why do people pretend to be someone else??
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22 / F / NJ.
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Posted 1/18/10
i cant imagine not being myself.. =/.
not that im so great, but..
how do u pretend to be anything different?
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21 / F / HOLLLLAAAAAA
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Posted 1/18/10
i really dont know they want to be someone else thats the reason i think because theres so many people that want to be someone else other than themselves
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22 / F / Texas
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Posted 1/18/10

ViralMarketing wrote:

People pretend to be what they're not in order to fit in with certain types of people. Maybe it will be backfire in the long run if they pretend to be interested in things they're not, maybe they should be genuine if they want to find real friends. Personally I think that if you aren't straightforward from the beginning, the end result cannot be pleasant. Either you'll be stuck with friends you have nothing in common with or be considered a poser.

I act like that sometimes, but I don't really consider it being "fake." I put on a difference face for different people. You won't act the same way around your grandmother or boss as you'd act around your friends at a party. Is one act more fake than another? I don't think so. People are multi-dimensional, you don't always act the same way all the time.


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34 / F / shenzhen
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Posted 1/18/10
people pretend to catch people's attention andd be into them..but then better to be true to urself and be the best that you can ever be..in that way u'll know ur real strength & weaknesses..deep down inside u..ull have that true hapiness..
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Posted 1/19/10 , edited 1/19/10
I believe virtue is not innate, but a practiced habit..
before, consciously (or closely pretentiously),I tried to practice being friendly and approachable to people,through imitation and observation.

At first, it seems fake, but later on, friendliness has become my habit/ a part of me.
Posted 1/19/10

PretzelPerez wrote:

base on my experience people pretend to be someone there not.... maybe becuz of there lack of confidence....

i know so many posser's and it sucks when they tell me that they are only pretending but its alright on me.... because i actually understand them cuz in some point in time i too became like them..........


i pretend to be someone better showing the girl i like in CR pictures of other person which is better looking than me...^^
everything went well and then one day i realize that i really love this girl and she must know the whole truth and i admit that i am definitely a posser haha.... and as punishment she leave's me...... broken even if we did not see each other in personal...... i have learn my lessons and i will never do it again.....^^ hehe IF people don' t want me on what i am.. so be it.... i don't nid people who does not want me..^^

:P


like u said people do it cuz they lack self-esteem heck ive done it onces felt really stupid for doing it but u should never ever ever do that, it just makes other people hate u or trust u less it ends very badly also im sorry to hear that its very sad, she shouldnt have left u
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24 / F
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Posted 1/20/10
They do it to belong in a group or because they think they need to do it to get people to like them. It rideculous how people do that if people dont like you for who you are then find someone else.
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22 / F / =_+ wahhh I'm get...
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Posted 1/20/10
ppl who pretend to b some1 else or copying some1 else personality is a person without self confidence...they don't like themselves and dont change on what they dont like but instead having to copy someone else and not themselves
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21 / F / SilenceScaresMe
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Posted 1/20/10
I never pretend to be someone else than who I am.
It's a shame to do such a thing!
if u are yourself people will love u for what u are, but they will love sincerly...
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27 / M / Look up.
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Posted 1/20/10
They lack self esteem or they're bored.
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22 / M / Clouds
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Posted 1/20/10
Hm pretend as in seriously?
Then that's really insecurities.
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24 / M / Osaka, Japan ★
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Posted 1/20/10
well in my case , I do that to hhmm... make puzzle people, to charm them? ehheeh >,<
and hhmm.. to test them and sometimes to know what's in their minds and hhmm .... to feel like I'm an anime!!!! hahahahaha!!!!!!!! XDDDDD
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27 / M / A rainy paradise...
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Posted 1/20/10 , edited 1/20/10
There are many levels to this question.

On an instinctual level, people are afraid to get rejected socially because we are wired to.

It's the reason why the number one fear people have is public speaking. We're wired with a protective mechanism dating thousands of years back.

Think back to a time when humans lived in tribes and villages. If you were rejected socially, you will die to natural forces. Humans have strength in numbers, if you were outcasted...you will not be able to survive very well. The people that survived all have this fear of rejection mechanism.

In modern times, this no longer applies, but we still have this genetic wiring to succumb to social/peer pressures and norms.



On a deeper psychological level, it protects our self-worth or self-esteem. If we're "acting" and get socially rejected, we can subconsciously tell ourselves, "It's ok, they don't know the real me...they rejected this stupid version I'm acting out."

For many reasons, people have developed unhealthy Ego's. Ego is a false confidence and comes from a superficial place. It is why a very hot girl can seem to be confident, but when you get to know her...you'll find that she's very insecure. It is because she based her self-esteem/worth on her looks. In this case, she has a high ego, but low self-esteem. To people that recognize her beauty, she will have power and confidence because she knows that she has high social value. However, when she's with a man that she likes, she becomes incredibly insecure because she opens herself up and puts her ego aside....leaving her low self-esteem to be active.


Everyone "acts" on some level...it's subconscious and we don't even realize it. More so when they're with someone with higher status. Ever been nervous at a job interview or gotten in trouble with the authorities...and find your behavior changing unconsciously?


Another common area is when a person "acts" is when they have an "agenda".

A guy doing all of these nice things for the girl he likes. He buys her flowers, candy, movies, dinner and treats her like a queen...dedicated to making her happy. But after a while into the relationship, when he knows that he has her. These things he does become less and less frequent.

Did he plan it in this case? No...he didn't have this plan in the beginning. All of this was subconscious, he doesn't even realize this. He just "felt like doing it" in the beginning and "didn't feel like doing it" later on.


From evolutionary psychology to modern psychology...and there are even more levels that can be explained. However, it is unnecessary.


There are 2 ways to become more genuine. 1 is to catch yourself in the act, pay attention to when you start acting and stop yourself.
2 is building your self-esteem on a intrinsic value instead of a superficial value. When you're being truly genuine, you will attract the right people and circumstances.
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26 / M / Sweden
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Posted 1/21/10
^_^ sometimes its fun to pretend to be someone else.

the most fun is to pretend your a girl. XD (but dont let it go overboard lol. Might hurt people.)

But to answer why people do it. well its either for fun. or because they dont believe in themselves. just like you said. or its because they are idiots who like to hurt peoples feelings ( and there it is again. the not believing in yourself.^_^ )
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25 / F
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Posted 1/21/10
because they want to feel they are better than others. they feel so good about themselves when they pretend and sometimes they do that because they are so insecure with others. they think that if people can't appreciate who they are, maybe they can be noticed if the will act like they are someone else.
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