**Jokes, Jokes, and Random Stuff
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21 / F / Somewhere on plan...
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Posted 1/2/08
As the title says, post fun and weird stuff!

Jokes:
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker.The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."


Please keep the jokes clean though!!
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ѕσмєωнєяє
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Posted 1/2/08
The only thing worse than people who tailgate
are those people who won't get out of my way
when I get right behind them.
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21 / F / Somewhere on plan...
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Posted 1/2/08
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"


"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."


"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"


"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."


"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."


"He died of a broken neck."


"A broken neck?"


"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

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21 / F / My happy place -...
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Posted 1/2/08
I like pie
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Posted 1/2/08
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Posted 1/2/08
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote -
"I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"

A man was driving on a long stretch of road. Restless from the long ride, he shifted around until his cellphone dropped. He picked it up and when he looked back at the road he saw a tree and swerved violently to the left. Distracted by his reaction, he looks back at the road and sees another tree and swerves to the right. His car flips and he calls for help.
When the police arrive they ask him what happened. He said, "I dropped my cellphone and when I looked up, I saw a tree so I swerved away. I saw another tree after than and swerved again and my car flipped."
The police look around, then at each other. One of them stepped forward and said, "Sir, there are no trees out here for hundreds of miles. That was your air freshener."
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21 / F / My happy place -...
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Posted 1/2/08

MaggieNomi wrote:

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote -
"I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"

A man was driving on a long stretch of road. Restless from the long ride, he shifted around until his cellphone dropped. He picked it up and when he looked back at the road he saw a tree and swerved violently to the left. Distracted by his reaction, he looks back at the road and sees another tree and swerves to the right. His car flips and he calls for help.
When the police arrive they ask him what happened. He said, "I dropped my cellphone and when I looked up, I saw a tree so I swerved away. I saw another tree after than and swerved again and my car flipped."
The police look around, then at each other. One of them stepped forward and said, "Sir, there are no trees out here for hundreds of miles. That was your air freshener."


hahaha
killar 
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Posted 1/2/08
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