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Post Reply Morphyms
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21 / F / what ever you DO...
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Posted 1/4/10 , edited 1/6/10
This is a prologue for and idea I had if you guys like it I might continue it XP!


She contemplated out the park on the other side of the street. Children playing, laughing. And she thought about the last time she had laughed. It hadn’t been so long, but it seemed so far away now that she knew what she knew.
Outstretching her stiff body on her bay window cushion felt great after staying so long in the same position as she gazed at those careless children.
She got up looked in the mirror nothing was the same anymore she was no longer the same. Her dark brown hair gently curled around her angel carved face: perfect features. She was the kind of girl you have always wished to be, but she never wanted it this way.

She was a monster.
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21 / F / On chair, decidin...
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Posted 1/5/10
0_0

If she's a GOOD monster (which sounds fairly certain) please, continue =D But if she ISN'T ... well then, i'm not stopping you ... but ... *shivers*

XP

I really do think you should continue. Careless children or no, it sounds good
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Posted 1/5/10
thanks^^ I will just wanted to see the reaction poeple had over it and if it was any good^^
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Posted 1/6/10
I think its really very good. your writing is rather advanced for a 14 year old i must say. when i was 14, i remember i sucked!

anyway... if u ask me u should continue, rather she is evil or not... i am already in it. keep it coming.

gambatte dattebayo_kawai.
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27 / M / Somewhere in Nowh...
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Posted 1/6/10
I defintely encourage for you to continue writing. With this prologue, it definitely has my attention. cant tell what is going to happen. is she out for revenge, is she just cursed, is this how she is. so many angles for this story and definitely many routes to write it. So keep at it
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Posted 1/6/10
thanks^^ to you all part 2 in progress XP
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22 / F / Canada
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Posted 1/6/10
Yeah you should keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!! XD XD XD
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21 / F / what ever you DO...
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Posted 1/6/10
thanks!!!!
(btw I just changed something see if you can find it) lol
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Posted 1/7/10
I don't know I'm bad at findindaing that bkind of stuff lolo XD
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Posted 1/7/10
Lol<3
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Posted 1/8/10
Are you going to post it here? I can't read it if you didn't post it here.
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Posted 1/8/10
yeah im nto done writting it but its going to be posted here^^
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Posted 1/8/10 , edited 1/17/10



I didn't like this version so i made a new one on th next page dont bother reading it!!!!!!!!


sorry it took so long to write and that there isnt much I just had kin of a writers block and it this is all I could get out of myself so hope its decent enough

ch.1, part 1
It was time, as she hid in the underbrush she felt her spine curve and her neck ger longer and longer. Her jaw outstretching letting razor sharp teeth pierce through her gums and between her already grown adult teeth.

Inyri woke up in her bed. She was sweating profusely and her throat was dry. Her room was still plunged in the dark, it was 3 in the morning and it was the third time she was woken by such a disturbing nightmare. I mean transforming into a monster that’s unrealistic, isn’t it?


I didn't like this version so i made a new one on th next page dont bother reading it!!!!!!!!
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Posted 1/9/10
BTW, the second paragraph was AMAZINGLY descriptive. It blew me away. Good job, Alex. But you should definitely make it longer than that and repair your spelling mistakes. Also improve your punctuation.
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Posted 1/9/10 , edited 1/9/10
thanks for the very constructive criticism^^ (it means alot for me to hear u say u liked it^^) and I will make it longuer I just had a major block lol
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