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Is Abstinence A Good Thing? Debate!
Posted 1/18/10

DerfelCadarn wrote:

I think all reasonable human beings here would agree that unless abstinence has health benefits, it is not a good thing. Does it have any?
Practicing sexual abstinence with extreme prejudice? Obviously not.

However, while the same health benefits with sex can be gained from proper exercising, a controlled sexual activity OTOH does have its benefit at forming stable relationship.
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Posted 1/25/10
Did they leave out the part where u get the female pregnant and end up paying for the rest of ur life.
Posted 1/25/10

kerrigan88 wrote:

Did they leave out the part where u get the female pregnant and end up paying for the rest of ur life.
Cause and consequence? As in individuals responsible for their own actions? That's beyond those who can only live in the here-and-now. Because they either have no control of themselves, or they surrendered their responsibility alone with their accountability. And they did it not because they were stupid, but it's because they were shown by others that it is the right thing to do.
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Posted 1/25/10

kerrigan88 wrote:

Did they leave out the part where u get the female pregnant and end up paying for the rest of ur life.


That is a bad thing..? I am getting of the age where I am really thinking about having kids.
29 years old...!
I do not think of my lover getting pregnant as a bad thing... Even so I have been practicing safe sex with her for the last 8 years without a single slip up. Birth-control works. Condom with spermicide adds even more protection. (then there is another form of safe sex.. known as the Blow Job! Good for the ladies health, and can not get pregnant from it.)
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Posted 1/25/10

Darkphoenix3450 wrote:


kerrigan88 wrote:

Did they leave out the part where u get the female pregnant and end up paying for the rest of ur life.


That is a bad thing..? I am getting of the age where I am really thinking about having kids.
29 years old...!
I do not think of my lover getting pregnant as a bad thing... Even so I have been practicing safe sex with her for the last 8 years without a single slip up. Birth-control works. Condom with spermicide adds even more protection. (then there is another form of safe sex.. known as the Blow Job! Good for the ladies health, and can not get pregnant from it.)


Oh I don't mean having a baby is a bad thing. I am assuming if 2 people are having sex, it's not with the intention to make a baby usually. Like 16 year old boy see 16 year old girl and don't usually say, "hey, I want to make a baby with you." But when u get to a point in a relationship when 2 people feel it's the right time then by all means it's a good thing.
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Posted 2/5/10
Abstinence is perfectly fine. You certainly don't want to just go out and have sex if you don't think you're ready for it. However, if you so choose to have sex, that's fine, too. Just make sure to be safe.
Posted 4/17/10
I think that if you decide to be abstinent it's a good choice. You don't have to worry about stis or stds, pregnancies, emotional baggage, etc. You can still go out and have a fun time and NOT have sex. You may even get to know your partner better without sex complicating things.
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Posted 4/17/10
Premarital Sex: Almost Everyone's Doing It

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/12/19/national/main2282940.shtml
Posted 4/17/10

momofleur wrote:

I think that if you decide to be abstinent it's a good choice. You don't have to worry about stis or stds, pregnancies, emotional baggage, etc. You can still go out and have a fun time and NOT have sex. You may even get to know your partner better without sex complicating things.
Like "I wonder if he can really be faithful and committed, without him not knowing exactly what he's getting into. Because I'm surely not that into him." That kind of complication?

Perhaps you should read up the whole premises about the nature of human brain when in love. And hear for yourself what anthropologist had to say about romance.
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Posted 4/17/10
The only time abstinence is a good thing is when you decide on it yourself. No parents, religion, or "morals" telling you that you should be.

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that so many people think abstinence is the way to go. Society tries to scare young people from having sex with all this crap and that "the only safe sex is abstinence" stuff taught in schools is total bs.

Sex is healthy. Look at all the benefits. Humans are naturally programmed to want to have sex. Any negative consequences are preventable. I don't care what the sex ed programs in schools are saying, but if you're using some form of birth control, or combining 2 forms, the chances of a pregnancy are pretty damn low. And STDs can be prevented by always using a condom.

Just be smart about sex, don't run away from it. Once you have it you'll wonder why the hell you decided to be abstinent for so long.
Posted 4/17/10

DomFortress wrote:


momofleur wrote:

I think that if you decide to be abstinent it's a good choice. You don't have to worry about stis or stds, pregnancies, emotional baggage, etc. You can still go out and have a fun time and NOT have sex. You may even get to know your partner better without sex complicating things.
Like "I wonder if he can really be faithful and committed, without him not knowing exactly what he's getting into. Because I'm surely not that into him." That kind of complication?

Perhaps you should read up the whole premises about the nature of human brain when in love. And hear for yourself what anthropologist had to say about romance.


I think we're probably talking to different audiences. I'm not talking about a partner that you may want to get married to, I'm talking to young people in my age group that may feel pressured to have sex in order to take their relationship to the next level.

If they choose to be abstinent, it's not something to be looked down on. They can still have a great relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend without having sex or if they wait a bit before having sex, they might even learn more about their partner. I don't have to read a science book on human neural chemistry or psychology to know that.

If they do choose to have sex that's their choice and that might be a good choice for them. Having sex doesn't mean that you will get pregnant or get an sti or that you'll regret it, but the fringe benefits of not getting sti's or pregnant or having to think, "shit, I just had sex with a condescending ass" is just true.
Posted 4/17/10 , edited 4/17/10

momofleur wrote:


DomFortress wrote:


momofleur wrote:

I think that if you decide to be abstinent it's a good choice. You don't have to worry about stis or stds, pregnancies, emotional baggage, etc. You can still go out and have a fun time and NOT have sex. You may even get to know your partner better without sex complicating things.
Like "I wonder if he can really be faithful and committed, without him not knowing exactly what he's getting into. Because I'm surely not that into him." That kind of complication?

Perhaps you should read up the whole premises about the nature of human brain when in love. And hear for yourself what anthropologist had to say about romance.


I think we're probably talking to different audiences. I'm not talking about a partner that you may want to get married to, I'm talking to young people in my age group that may feel pressured to have sex in order to take their relationship to the next level.

If they choose to be abstinent, it's not something to be looked down on. They can still have a great relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend without having sex or if they wait a bit before having sex, they might even learn more about their partner. I don't have to read a science book on human neural chemistry or psychology to know that.

If they do choose to have sex that's their choice and that might be a good choice for them. Having sex doesn't mean that you will get pregnant or get an sti or that you'll regret it, but the fringe benefits of not getting sti's or pregnant or having to think, "shit, I just had sex with a condescending ass" is just true.
OK then, how exactly can they achieve that? Without them relying on the help of science to map out the romantic signs and pathways to a relationship minus sex. Any idea? Or were you just making some baseless entitlement claims plus negative scare tactics.
Posted 5/7/10 , edited 5/7/10
I think it's important to know what having sex could bring. If in the end the person who thought about it decides that being abstinent is the best thing, then good for them. Personally, I prefer not to be abstinent. That's my decision after thinking it through. I think that the only thing that could make it wrong or right is if the person hasn't fully thought out their decision and is basing it off of all the wrong things -- "I want to be abstinent because my mom told me to." "I heard that if I have sex, my penis will turn green and fall off." You know.
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Posted 5/7/10
suppressing your natural sex drives is never a good thing
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Posted 5/10/10
Abstinence is a bad solution in my opinion. Teaching safe sex is by far the best answer. Abstinence works fine enough for some people but for others it will simply not work.

Humans are animals too, animals have a very strong, undeniable natural sex drive. Reproduction is the most important natural instinct to survival, and we feel it too. Instincts don't listen to reason, even if people are taught to abstain from sex, there will always be some that can't.
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