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Posted 1/22/10

SakuraSenin wrote:

Aw, I have thing for stories written in a guy's perspective. Did you figure out Mei's hobbies and interests yet? Like for example, she's super rich right? Maybe she indulges in sentimental whims like playing the piano or sketching when people aren't around? Or doing research on, well, flowers? I think it's most exciting if she does something truly sentimental. Especially if no one knows about it. It doesn't need to be a secret but yet no one's aware she does these things or this thing. But it's your story. I can't tell you what to do. I just love the vocabulary, words, descriptions. I'm commenting on what I would like to see. And so far, I like it. I like it alot. xD


Thanks =D
And yep, I think I figured out some of her hobbies... they kind of seemed a little stereotypical to me though playig piano was exactly what I was thinking of xD drawing was used too, but for a character you haven't met yet xD

Your ideas and suggestions are really helping me consider things that I haven't thought of before. Thanks a bunch for all the great tips~ ^^
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Posted 1/22/10 , edited 1/22/10

Tsukoyomi wrote:


SakuraSenin wrote:

Aw, I have thing for stories written in a guy's perspective. Did you figure out Mei's hobbies and interests yet? Like for example, she's super rich right? Maybe she indulges in sentimental whims like playing the piano or sketching when people aren't around? Or doing research on, well, flowers? I think it's most exciting if she does something truly sentimental. Especially if no one knows about it. It doesn't need to be a secret but yet no one's aware she does these things or this thing. But it's your story. I can't tell you what to do. I just love the vocabulary, words, descriptions. I'm commenting on what I would like to see. And so far, I like it. I like it alot. xD


Thanks =D
And yep, I think I figured out some of her hobbies... they kind of seemed a little stereotypical to me though playig piano was exactly what I was thinking of xD drawing was used too, but for a character you haven't met yet xD

Your ideas and suggestions are really helping me consider things that I haven't thought of before. Thanks a bunch for all the great tips~ ^^


Would you like me to give you a list of hobbies for her character? Like unusual ones that aren't normally picked. >.< I can do it y'know! 'Unusual' is my middle name!
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Posted 1/22/10 , edited 1/22/10

SakuraSenin wrote:
Would you like me to give you a list of hobbies for her character? Like unusual ones that aren't normally picked. >.< I can do it y'know! 'Unusual' is my middle name!


New suggestions would be GREAT! I could only think of artistic and sporty ones for some reason... playing music, drawing, playing sports, reading, and such... what do you suggest a technical (mathematics/science-loving) person would enjoy?

I have the plans for my character designs in as many aspects as I could think of so that they practically live and breathe, but giving them original hobbies, likes and dislikes, and ways of speech is a little bit difficult. For example, I'm pretty sure Mei's diction right now is pretty neutral... I can't seem to find the right words for her to say...
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Posted 1/23/10 , edited 1/23/10

Chapter 4: Distant Moon


Mei awoke early the next morning to the sound of the servant bringing in the breakfast trolley. "Good morning Ms. Yamauchi. Which type of tea would you like this morning?" He asked in a bored tone, almost as if he found it ridiculous to be asking her so politely.

"The same as usual" Mei responded, rising to a sitting position to watch as the grim-faced old man in front of her began to make her tea.

"And to eat? We have the usual assortment."

"Toast for today. Two slices. Butter on one, strawberry jam on the next." Mei replied automatically. She felt like an emotionless robot programmed to say what she did. She sighed inwardly to herself but said nothing more to the man in front of her, knowing that if she had outwardly sighed her father would be notified and a doctor would appear for a check-up by lunchtime.

As she munched absently on a slice of toast she found herself gazing out of the window beside her. In the early morning sky only a tiny sliver of the moon remained visible. Mei found herself wishing she was back outside in the cool night air, frolicking amongst the flowers. She decided that she would sneak back up to the terrace on another night. After all, it was the only place where she could think and spend time by herself in this building.

As if right on cue, her nanny bustled into the room. "What's this Ms. Yamauchi? Sight-seeing? Look at you! You haven't even finished your breakfast yet. I've come to tell you that your math professor has arrived. Hurry up and get changed!" She rebuked, hurriedly cleaning up the trolley the breakfast servant had left behind while motioning to the ladies-in-waiting to start getting her changed. "We will be waiting for you in the study room. See that you are not more than ten minutes late!"

With that she turned on her heels and departed, leaving Mei to remember her manners and not call after her: "It's easy for you to say! You don't have to sight-see out a window because you can actually go outside yourself."
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Posted 1/23/10
Gooood... I am more and more intrigued with every chapter I read of you... There is also another reason why you are chosen as the author of the month cus Tsukoyomi you are excellent at using Crunchyroll BB Codes and your writing format is always neat and tidy.

You give kind replies to your reviewers and truly consider everything you have been told. It is really nice to have you here.

I am expecting a new chappy soon. Gambatte Tsukoyomi-san.
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Posted 1/23/10
Nice. She has attitude.
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Posted 1/23/10
hehe thanks to both of you for reading ^^ next chapter will probably be up next friday again... I've written chapter 6 and I'm working on chapter 7 as we speak, but I'm trying to pace my releases here so that there won't be large pauses for the times when I have writers' block xD

yup, I'm also doing some work on the forum layout itself to make things more reader-friendly ^^ the banners are surprisingly difficult for me to make since i don't want to use any actual people on the banners... it all has to do with not influencing the reader's interpretation of the characters' looks
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Posted 1/29/10

Chapter 5: Rose of the Moon

The rest of Mei's morning proceeded without any abnormalities. Her lessons in math, history and etiquette passed by without a hitch. She had found that if she kept quiet and asked no questions she would be able to research her own answers in her household's massive library later in her four hours of study time. Her instructors praised her for being a genius, understanding all of their complex material simply by listening to them. Mei was pleased that she was able to complete her homework in less than half of her allotted study time, leaving the rest of the period open for further research and preparations for future classes.

As she sat through her "natural world" lesson, she found herself wondering for the billionth time why she wasn't allowed to simply venture outside on her own to learn things first-hand. In this lesson, various travelers from around the world arrived at her home to retell the tales of their journeys into the most amazing parts of the world. This lesson interested Mei, seeing as she had never had any of these experiences for herself, but due to her presenters' poor style of presentation, much of the excitement from their tales was lost in monotonous droning and endless slideshows. She gazed blankly at the screen in front of her, feeling as though the very essence of her life was being drawn from her as she sat there.

A sudden familiar image came on the screen causing Mei to sit bolt upright in her seat, her attention focused ahead of her. If she wasn't mistaken, that image definitely looked like...

Seeing her sudden reaction the presenter smiled. "Ah, so this one caught your attention didn't it? This is picture is of a rare and beautiful flower that was hard for me to come across. The species isn't common because, it is a hybrid, a mutation of the musk rose if you will, it is also extremely hard to grow. There are very few conditions in which they will grow, but the botanist at the place I was visiting made sure he took good care of all the conditions to raise just this single one. I've heard that it shimmers brightly in the moonlight casting off a magical glow which makes all the extra effort worthwhile."

Unable to hold her silence as she had in the rest of her other lessons, Mei had to ask: "So what is it called?"

Startled by her sudden enthusiasm, the presenter regarded Mei curiously. "It's called the Autumn Moonlight Rose. Isn't that a beautiful name? It's a rightly named flower too, since, unlike most flowers, it only blooms for the first two weeks of autumn. It was such a treat for me..." But Mei's thoughts had already turn inwards and she didn't bother to pay attention to the rest of his explanation.

The Autumn Moonlight Rose. So that was what it was called. But wait, extremely hard to grow? An expert botanist only managed to grow one? Mei was sure that she had seen at least a dozen last night on the rooftop. The picture and descriptions had matched it perfectly. It had to be.

"Wow! Would you look at the time. Looks like the lesson is over for today." Her instructor concluded abruptly, "I will be here for the rest of the week, but after that, I'm off to Tibet. A new presenter is set to see you next week. If you have any questions, feel free to let me know Ms. Yamauchi." Mei thanked her instructor as usual and proceeded to the dining hall for lunch, still thinking of the rose.

As she sat enjoying her lunch, she decided that she would have to find a way to sneak out and have a look at the roses once more before they wilted. She wondered if she could sneak out for a few minutes right after eating. Encouraged, she decided to finish her meal as quickly as possible.

However her plans were not meant to be. As she was finishing up one of the maids hurried into the room looking slightly flustered. "M-ms. Yamauchi, you have been summoned by your father, Lord Yamauchi, for a meeting as soon as possible. Your afternoon lessons have been canceled for today."

Mei frowned. Canceled? That has never happened before. And what about a meeting with her father? As long as she could remember, he has done everything in his power to avoid meeting with her. When was the last time she had met him? Two years ago? Maybe three? Whatever it was that awaited her that afternoon, she knew it wouldn't be a casual conversation...
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Posted 1/29/10 , edited 1/29/10
i'm loving it.
the descriptions. the words. the flow of the story. they are amazing.
but since you already had a chapter in the guy's perspective, maybe you should incorporate that through out the story. the girl then the guy's story.
that's just my opinion. you don't need to follow it.
(though, i'm probably just making excuse cause i'm more interested in the guy than the girl)
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Posted 1/30/10
I am interested in the guy too and I believe she will use his perspective as well when the time comes :happy:

I must say Tsukoyomi you are really good. I am in love with this story already, and I just wanna read more and more each time you post a tiny chapter like this. Your descriptions are extra ordinary. And the flow of events is really convincing and good too.

I just want more of this as soon as possible but no pressure.... well... maybe a bit pressure

Thank you for the share.
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Posted 1/30/10
Yay! It's so cool! I can't wait 'till Mei meets the boy again. I just know her father has something to do with this. *evil grin* Can't wait until the next chapter.
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The descriptive wordings are nicely executed. The reader can see and feel what's actually happening with each character.
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Posted 2/7/10
thanks to everyone for reading and commenting ^-^ next chapter coming... now~
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Chapter 6: Unexpected Moon


After finishing her lunch, Mei found herself standing outside the largest double doors of the building. She stood there hesitantly, wondering whether she should knock or simply wait for an attendant to announce her arrival. Was it possible for the doors themselves to be intimidating? Because, to Mei, these doors most certainly made her feel very tiny. At last she opted for a tiny knock on the giant doors.

"Enter."

The voice from the other side of the door boomed. As slowly as she possibly could, taking as much time as she dared, Mei turned the large brass handle of the door and slowly entered the large study. The room, much like the entrance-way leading to it, was significantly large. The walls were lined with bookshelves that looked very much like the reference section of the library. Had this room always been so large? Mei couldn't remember the last time she had set foot in it. Her father summoned her so infrequently that she could hardly remember and describe his appearance to people even if she tried.

At the other end of the long room Mei's father, Yamauchi Hisao, sat at the large desk. His back was to her as he was reading some papers. When she entered he didn't look up or give any signs of awareness that he was no longer alone in the room. "F-father, I have arrived." Mei stammered nervously. Her mind was still reeling with questions. Why had her father summoned her now of all times? What did he want from her? Had she done something bad? Was she going to be punished? What was he thinking?

"Ah, Teimei. Good. Come closer." Her father beckoned. Mei flinched at the sound of her full name. No one, not even the servants, called her "Teimei". Whenever she met someone new, she made sure to introduce herself as "Yamauchi Mei", rather than Teimei and correct anyone who called her that. In turn even the servants corrected new visitors by calling her "Mei". Her father was about the only person that no one ever dared correct.

Luckily, her father was still hunched over the papers and did not see her grimace as she advanced. At last when she was standing in front of her father's large study desk, messily scattered with papers, her father turned to face her. His vaguely familiar pitch black hair and luminous brown eyes gazed at her, evaluated her, and assessed her worth in mere seconds. Mei didn't even know how old her father was, but she suspected that he was in his late forties. For as long as she could remember, he wore a permanent frown with his brow knitted tightly together every time he saw her, making the few wrinkles that were appearing on his face seem much more obvious.

"Needless to say," he began in a business-like tone, "you have come here with absolutely no idea why I have summoned you. How long has it been since I last met my own daughter? Probably when you were ten. You're fifteen now?"

"No Father, I will turn seventeen next April." Mei answered politely, trying not to let the fact that her father had forgotten her own age get to her.

"Ah, has it already been seven years? As it seems, time flies by without one noticing these things. Soon you will be a proper lady." Mei said nothing as she waited for him to continue. "Good. Since you are already turning seventeen we won't have to wait as long. I have good news for you. Next year you will be getting married."
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Posted 2/7/10
naniii?!?!? sooo short?!

Tsukoyomi!!!

COME BACK AND WRITE MORE!

BAAAAH!! I wantz more!!!!!

Hmph.... hmph hmph...
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