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The Cusp of Misery
Posted 1/29/10
I felt this endless sorrow. The willingness to be destroyed. The desire to become nothing in the face of death. When nothing consoles you and nothing can help you. When a seething hate of the self arises and only the breathless void of the end will make you feel relief. Depression and fear of trying to break though a barrier of sickness beyond your imagining. I hate and live every day as if it will never matter. How can we hope to overcome a vicious want to die?
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Posted 1/29/10
I felt similarly. I was suicidally depressed and 90% of my thoughts were about a strong desire to want to be ended or die. I desired to just cease my pain and live no more. However, in my depression I also found Jesus who has healed me from all that. I don't want to sound preachy, but that's my story and that's how I overcame my desire to die.
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Posted 1/29/10
just remember: killing yourself is illegal. you don't want to break the law, do you?
Posted 1/30/10

MEMPHADON wrote:

just remember: killing yourself is illegal. you don't want to break the law, do you?


Thanks for this post!!!
I wouldn't like to go to jail after killing myself
Posted 1/30/10

MEMPHADON wrote:

just remember: killing yourself is illegal. you don't want to break the law, do you?


That's hilarious. They could imprison a body and let it rot in a cell stinking up a prison while spreading disease.
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Posted 1/30/10
I find it somewhat funny that attempting to kill yourself in some countries is a crime punishable by death... So you fail at suicide only to get the death penalty.
Posted 1/30/10

Wraithverge wrote:

I felt this endless sorrow. The willingness to be destroyed. The desire to become nothing in the face of death. When nothing consoles you and nothing can help you. When a seething hate of the self arises and only the breathless void of the end will make you feel relief. Depression and fear of trying to break though a barrier of sickness beyond your imagining. I hate and live every day as if it will never matter. How can we hope to overcome a vicious want to die?
I seek the strength to life, both from within myself and from each other. Thereby understanding that life naturally has a will to live.

I discover the strength of life, both from observing the change within myself and me becoming that change. Therefore appreciating that life is naturally ever changing and yet, it's been like that all the same.

I empower that strength with my life, both with my courage and effort. Thereon advocating that life is ultimately ever changing beyond the eventual end of my individual life.

I see, I saw, I conquer, I die. But I shaped humanity with my life, and within it lies my legacy.

I feel no sorrow, when I've done everything that I want with my life and there's nothing more of me to give. For sorrow isn't the cause of my death, when I've come to a time of me to give my life away for my chance at something I want to change. So "Later, buddy."
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Posted 1/31/10

DomFortress wrote:


Wraithverge wrote:

I felt this endless sorrow. The willingness to be destroyed. The desire to become nothing in the face of death. When nothing consoles you and nothing can help you. When a seething hate of the self arises and only the breathless void of the end will make you feel relief. Depression and fear of trying to break though a barrier of sickness beyond your imagining. I hate and live every day as if it will never matter. How can we hope to overcome a vicious want to die?
I seek the strength to life, both from within myself and from each other. Thereby understanding that life naturally has a will to live.

I discover the strength of life, both from observing the change within myself and me becoming that change. Therefore appreciating that life is naturally ever changing and yet, it's been like that all the same.

I empower that strength with my life, both with my courage and effort. Thereon advocating that life is ultimately ever changing beyond the eventual end of my individual life.

I see, I saw, I conquer, I die. But I shaped humanity with my life, and within it lies my legacy.

I feel no sorrow, when I've done everything that I want with my life and there's nothing more of me to give. For sorrow isn't the cause of my death, when I've come to a time of me to give my life away for my chance at something I want to change. So "Later, buddy."


whoa...... that was deep
Posted 1/31/10

Virtuous1 wrote:



whoa...... that was deep
Just tried to put things into perspective. Otherwise how else can I enjoy watching one of the most epic death scene in anime history?

I can go metaphysical and philosophical anytime with Gurren Lagann, 'cause that's just how good it is to me.
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Posted 1/31/10
Come on, you guys!! I don't know whether to laugh or cry!?! Since I don't like joining pityparties, I'm inclined to chuckle at the way you're all complicating the art of life. Yeah, I guess I went thru my own youth angst, but these posts make it all sound so much harder or complicated than it has to be.
It's more about comfort than success, more confidence than accomplishment, it should never focus long on failure- that's bound to happen occasionally, so hope for the best knowing the worst will not last long since a change will come-- change IS inevitable!!! The way I see it, tomorrow is the ultimate second chance, & if I don't make it till tomorrow, well the journey would be over anyway, right?
Posted 2/1/10

DomFortress wrote:


Virtuous1 wrote:



whoa...... that was deep
Just tried to put things into perspective. Otherwise how else can I enjoy watching one of the most epic death scene in anime history?

I can go metaphysical and philosophical anytime with Gurren Lagann, 'cause that's just how good it is to me.


Gurren Lagann is so good that I am afriad to watch it all the way through for the second time out of fear of it getting even the slightest bit old.
Posted 2/1/10

farmbird wrote:

Come on, you guys!! I don't know whether to laugh or cry!?! Since I don't like joining pityparties, I'm inclined to chuckle at the way you're all complicating the art of life. Yeah, I guess I went thru my own youth angst, but these posts make it all sound so much harder or complicated than it has to be.
It's more about comfort than success, more confidence than accomplishment, it should never focus long on failure- that's bound to happen occasionally, so hope for the best knowing the worst will not last long since a change will come-- change IS inevitable!!! The way I see it, tomorrow is the ultimate second chance, & if I don't make it till tomorrow, well the journey would be over anyway, right?


It would be over in this life, but hopefully, not in the next. Perhaps the here and now is some hilarious detour we all somehow fell upon.
Posted 2/1/10

digs wrote:

I felt similarly. I was suicidally depressed and 90% of my thoughts were about a strong desire to want to be ended or die. I desired to just cease my pain and live no more. However, in my depression I also found Jesus who has healed me from all that. I don't want to sound preachy, but that's my story and that's how I overcame my desire to die.


It almost seems better that someone else kills you rather than cowering from life through suicide. Such a strange thought.
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Posted 2/1/10
Life vs. Death

Positive vs. Negative

Optimism vs. Pessimism

" Once a man like the sea I raged; once a women like the earth I gave. There is in fact more earth than sea!" ( from a Genesis song- "Cinema Show" by Peter Gabriel)

Can't help it, by nature I lean toward the 1st word in each pair. The quote kinda sums up the scenery of the path I walk. I'm an encourager by nature. The negatives sadden me.


Wraithverge wrote:


farmbird wrote:

Come on, you guys!! I don't know whether to laugh or cry!?! Since I don't like joining pityparties, I'm inclined to chuckle at the way you're all complicating the art of life. Yeah, I guess I went thru my own youth angst, but these posts make it all sound so much harder or complicated than it has to be.
It's more about comfort than success, more confidence than accomplishment, it should never focus long on failure- that's bound to happen occasionally, so hope for the best knowing the worst will not last long since a change will come-- change IS inevitable!!! The way I see it, tomorrow is the ultimate second chance, & if I don't make it till tomorrow, well the journey would be over anyway, right?


It would be over in this life, but hopefully, not in the next. Perhaps the here and now is some hilarious detour we all somehow fell upon.


As to that, I'm hoping my next stop has an Elysium field location inside the pearl gate just off the golden street somewhere-- born in the city by chance, living in the country by choice--- I really can't understand why the afterlife would reflect a city (man made?) & not nature..................( oh well, can't be certain of everything in that Book I read-giggles )
Posted 2/1/10 , edited 2/1/10

Wraithverge wrote:


DomFortress wrote:


Virtuous1 wrote:



whoa...... that was deep
Just tried to put things into perspective. Otherwise how else can I enjoy watching one of the most epic death scene in anime history?

I can go metaphysical and philosophical anytime with Gurren Lagann, 'cause that's just how good it is to me.


Gurren Lagann is so good that I am afriad to watch it all the way through for the second time out of fear of it getting even the slightest bit old.
Say you, I OTOH am recommending Gurren Lagann to others as part of my positive psycho therapy.
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