Post Reply To You ~ By Amanda Black
Posted 2/6/10 , edited 2/7/10
PROLOGUE
By. Amanda Black


It was just like any other cold winter night. With a cold blanket of snow resting on the grass before my feet. i dont know why I stepped outside. i was sound asleep 5 minuts ago, until it felt like someone was calling my name.
Annabelle
Just 5 minouts ago I was having a dream about a guy who is my age, 16. He has golden blond hair that reaches collar bone, Sun kissed body, blue eyes, and rosey red lips. An Angel. Before i woke up he called my name.
Annabelle.
Then he kissed me-and boy did it feel real, i could feal the warmth of his hands behind my neck and around my waist. i coulf feel his soft lips kissing my cheeks, my lips, and my neck, but before he said my name again i woke up. thats when i heard the wind softly calling me.
Annabelle... Annabelle
I ran outside in my blue silk pajamas, carring my old childhood Brown rabbit - Mr. Time, like off of Alice in wonderland.
Annabelle
The wind was now blowing and twisting round me, it was circling me, surrounding, and Caressing me - It was warm compared to the winter chill. it's so warm, the breez was softly blowing against my body, keepig out the cold it seemed it wouldnt let me freeze. the numbness in my feet that had come from the snow against my bair feet was slowly disapering, along with the shivers in my body.
Sleepiness over took me as i stood there in the middle of the street with my dark auburn hair brushing against my face. Ant Katy sais she's going to get it cut because its 'Outragious' for a child to have hair almost past their butt - But i wont let her cut it! -
The breeze is now lifting me off the ground, and making me fade away - first me hands then my -
Sleep!
The breeze whispers in my ears, im not scared, and i wont fight it-like i could anyways. i closed my eyes and was unconsciouse within a minite. Dreaming once again about the same guy with intence heat surounding him. He let the warmth suround me too and it was comfortible, warm. He embraced me.
I can scarcly feel my body falling - than suprissingly warm soft arms caught me.
He caught the sleeping, Annabelle Snow.
Welcome Home Anna !


CHAPTER 1
Anna's Discovery.




It seemed like hours before I finaly woke up. Mr. Time lay in my arms, his brown fur standing out against the white sheets that covered me. They smell strangly of wild flowers and fresh water. Blinding sunlight streamed into the stone windows, I am laying on a King sized bed with thin comferter sheets, I look at them closly and notice they have blue flower patterns embroyeled in them. The sheets are spiraled against my legs, figures-I always toss and turn in my sleep.
An over powering scent of roses filled the room, Its sweet-Stron-Almost makes me dizzy. A low soft voice speaks beside me, "Good Morning," I turned around to see a girl who looks to be 13 years ols with cinomon coloured hair and baby blue eyes and she was wearing a beautiful white dress with seams of blue it swept the floor with such ease ans care.
I hadn't understood what she said, "Where am I?"
She looked at me uncertain for a moment-possibly the same thoughts are running through her mind that are running through mine-What is she saying.
"You can't understand me can you?"
"Pardon?"
She looks out the window as if in deep thought. When she finaly looks back at me she has a distant gaze and with a swift graceful motion she leaves me alone in this huge room that is bigger then my house. On the old stone floor there is a large handmade carpet that stretches accrost the floor, it reminds me of the ocean, there is numouris colours of blue woven into it-creating shapes like waves with dolphins and whales fadding in and out of the blue. It lays there undisturbed on the cold hard ground, I slowly sit up in bed, the events from last night crashing down on me as I look at my surroundings I am in a Canopy Bed with silk white sheets drapeing from the celing and gracefuly resting at the edges of the bed. The room is beautifull with stone watts with a slight arch near the ruff There are marble and elegnt wodden tables resting against the walls supporting things such as Vases with exotic flowers that you can only dream of seeing, Golden trunks with rubies and diamonds etched onto the lid.
Just then soft murmers came from the tall twin doors that the girl had disapeard behind, I notice the doors look exquiste they have different patterns and pictures etched into them with gold makeing it glistion when the sunlight hit it. The doors slowly open and two shapes emerge, the first thing i notice is his deep blue eyes that locked on mine the moment he entered the room, I know him! i thought. I've seen him before! from my dreams. He smiles at me.
"You havnt done it yet have you?"
He shakes his head slowly never takeing his eyes off me, "I havn't had time..." as he sais this the once cold room becomes instantly warm. A thought creeps into my mind, I dont think this room has central heating.
"Who are you?" I whisper my voice raspy and my stumach in a knot. what is wrong with me! I scream but the words dont come out, My gaze never wavers away from him, I cant look away, I dont want to. Warm air now surrounds me-Caressing my red cheeks and nose and chaseing away the dreadful cold.
He is causing this.
He slowly walks accrost the room and stood at the edge of the bed, he seen the alertness on my face and smiles sweetly.
Relax, and dont scream.
He leans on the bed and reaches for me, the heat intenses as he draws near, I struggle not to squrm but I cant keep quiet I want him closer-But why.
"NO," I scream, but not from fright-from how much I really do want him near. He seems to understand because his gaze softens and pure warm air surrounds me. I immediatly relax wondering what will happen.
He draws close his mouth just inches from mine, I can feel his hot breath against mine. why is he hesatating? i wonder. as if sensing my thoughts he kisses me-Its intoxicating, I cant speak, cant breath, cant move, and cant hear, and yet i dont want to. I wrap my arms around him to draw him closer he is almost too eager to.
"Anna," He whispers in a quiet voice that leers me in.
Someone clears their throat-an attempt to get our attention. "ALIC!," she sais impatiently I turn to her now exosted with my throat slightly throbing. I can understand her. I touch my throat knowing that something has changed. Alic turned around and scowled at her but it didnt touch his eyes, He is amused. He turned back to me, "you should sleep Anna."
I cant remember when i fell asleep I am far too confused and exhausted.
I dream im in a gardon full of wild flowers-their scent overpowering. Im sitting on stone steps with Mr. Time resting beside me slumped over. I dont need to look to know know that Alic is beside me, somehow his presence is familar to me.
"Thats becasue you dream of me every night Anna," he sais gazeing at the quiet river before us. I steal a quick gaze at him, But once i look i cant look away the sun touches his golden hair.
"Who are you?" I ask as i sink my feet into the cool water, a name comes into my mind St. Bell River, a river that is now gone. The water sparkles and fish jump in the water, Yep im dreaming. It seemed like the stone steps ran right into St. Bell River and just disapeared, but i know their just hidden by the seaweed.
"Alic Mursillies," he sais and looks at me smiling, his blond hair flowing in the wind, refusing to stay in one place, makeing him apprear childish and yet sexy. His intense blue eyes stayed on me a moment too long.
"Your in my dreams arn't you," Its not a quiestion and he know it .
"So it seems Annabelle,"
"You know my name,"
Silence.
"Atleast tell me how I got here," there is a hint of a plea in my voice.
He looks away as if debateing over something, something that is infront of me and yet i cant grasp it. "You will eventually know," He whispers.
"But-" I am but off Alic begines to fad away and every thing goes dark.

...
"Your up?"
"Yeah," i said groggly as i sat up in bed and wipped the sleep from my eyes, The sweet scent of baccon and eggs surrounded me and made my stumach growel, I look at Alic sheepishly, "Im hungry Alic!" he has an amused smile on his face but he handed me the plate that i so longly want. I grimmanced as i put the baccon into my mouth-its crudly made any yet rich with flaviour. He hands me a golden laid goblet which holds red liquid in it. "Your not a vampire are you?" I asked only as a joke but i know he has no idea what im talking about.
"Its Wine Anna," he tries to hide his laughter as he watches me caustiously drink it and grimmance at the taste. Never liked this stuff. "You sure like to sleep," I look at him n suck my toung out at him, That amused smile never leaving his face.
As I took another sip from the goblet alic glanced at the doors to the bedroom, , "feel free to leave my bedroom chamber any time you want," He lost me at his bedroom chamber, "but anna," he said looking at me and smiled, "good luck leaving the palace!"
I choked on the wine, "P-palace?"
He laughed, "Ya where do you think you are!" I am speachless, as if reading my thoughts he said, "Annabelle your in Hattusa, in a palace-My palace."
"And you are exactually?"
He sighed, "Im the king's son."
"So your like-a prince?" I paused realising that all of this sounds strangly familiar, almost as if we already had this convorsation before. Right on que he sais, "We have talked about this before," the air around us grew a bit cold as his gaze became bemused. The cold that i havn't felt for awhile finaly crashing down on me. "Dont you even remember?" He whispered.
Than I remembered.
His name is Alicander Mursillies II, he is in the third positiong to the throan to be king, Alic has 5 brothers and 7 sisters, The girl who I had seen earlier is Alic's younger sister, she is the 2nd youngst daughter her name is Alexis Hatsillies and she lives here in her brothers house hold.
Just then Alexis walks into the room holding a tray with another golden laid goblet on it, as she handed me the goblet i asket wearly, "is this more wine?" I cring from the thought.
"No it's just Water." So I take a caustious sip, the slippery coolness trickling down my throat. My feet feel almost numb under the covers because the room is so cold.
Alexis took the goblet from me and put it on the bedside table beside me and took my freezing hands in both of hers. She smiled sweetly at me her short blond hair sweeping infromt of her face. "Welcome to our home-Hey your hands feel like ice!" She trailed off looking at Alic who is now sitting beside me cross legged on the bed, "Alic stop being mean!," She shouted at him. A look of utter defeat and hurt clouded his gaze that made him look volnerable and defenceless. I want to hug him and tell him it will be alright that she didn't mean it-only she did and I know she's right.
I grabbed the goblet before i could do anything I would regret, and tood a long gulp of the cool water - Only it wouldnt go gown - and it wouldnt go back either - I cant breath - The goblet drops and spills on the bed, Did i drop it? I dont know.
"Anna?" Alic sais with with concurn in his voice, it soon turned to panick when i didnt respond and my skin turned pale. I clench my throat. What is happening? I cant breath, Its like im drowning but I cant be. It spreade to my nostrells - choaking off all air supply, Water isnt supposed to move!
"Oh my god Anna!," thats Alexis I realise as my face slowly turns blue. I struggle to gasp but I cant open my mouth.
"ALEXIS WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER?!" Alic demanded in a panicked voice.
"W-water I sware, a servent gave it to me to give to Anna!"
Dont just fight! Do something, cant you see I cant breath, I silently screamed. Alic looked into the goblet of what is now left of the water - Nothing - It disapeared. Alic paled as he realised the bed was dry with no trace of dampness left by the water.
"GAURDS," He shouted with a demanding tone as he caught me in his arms before I collapsed onto the bed, things are now going dark and black blotches are covering my vision but i fight to focus. I hear distant voices as people rish into the room, I cant see what they look like but i know that they are the gaurds.
I feel pressure on my chest, familiar hot lips on my mouth hand big steady hands on my chin and chest, putting air back into my lungs. This hurts so much, am I going to die? all i know is that I black out.
_


"Mommy, willl I go to heaven?"
My mother shook her head her pixi cropped auburn hair moveing gracefully never out of place, "Only when it's your time Anna," She said in a quiet voice. Everyone always seen my mom as a delicat fragile creature, so no one ever got mad at her, they were always nice, too nice as I would see it. But then again I was only a child, so what would I know. "Anna, It wont be your time for awhile."
"Why for so long thought mommy?"
"Because your only 6 years old Anna, and It's just not your time!" she bent down so she can look me in the eyes, "Besides," She points to Mr. Time, "Mr. Time here would never let you die, now would he," She smiled as I nodded and hugged my stuffed rabbit. "He will never leave your side Anna," She smoothed my long dark auburn hair thats closer to black then brown.
"I guess your right."
_




-Anna-," panic, "-Belle," Someone cried, as warm air entered my body warming me up. I cough up water, "Annabelle?"
"My names Anna!" I managed to say throught gasps.
"Oh my god Alic, you dont think she knows already?" Alexis sais frantically looking at her brother with a worried gaze, "maybe she did this."
My eyes fling open as i look ay the two of them wondering who they are talking about, and why do I have no idea what their talking about, "Who?" my voice is raspy. Tears spring to my eyes, "Who!" I demand as they both look at me.
"Annab-, I mean Anna, Alic saved you... by air, he controlls it." She sighed then turned around and walked out of the room. The gaurds now surround us, looking uncertain of what to do, debateing if they should stay or go.
Alic seemed to read the tension in the room. "Leave us," He demanded, they all left obidently. "Anna," he sighed and wipped the tears from my face with the long silky fabric of his sweater sleave, "It would hurt me if you died," He whispered almost to himself.
I pulled away from him, "tell me Alic! who is this person you and Alixis were talking about."
He looked at the stone walls for a moment trying to debate weather or not he should tell me, He choose and he looked at me with an intense gaze.
"My step mother," He said, "She did it with water - actually water magic," He laughed at my amused face and yet im believing it.
"Your step mother, So what... Does she want me dead or something," I ment it as a joke.
"It appears so Anna."







CHAPER 2
Queen Ahie



She is the Queen Tawanana who is tho only women to have both a priestly function in the kingdom as well as a political one, She is the whife of Alic's Father Khil Hatsillies. She will be in power until the day she dies or until she is accused of the worst crime and is forsced to leave her position. The next time the king of Hattusha marries his whife will become Tawanana and rule along side him.
"Queen Ahie."
"Yes," Alic nodded not having to explain to me who she really is, because I somehow already know.
"So how about a walk," he asked holding out his hand to me, I took it realising I havnt even climbed off the bed the whol time I have been here. I jump off the bed, slowly gliding accross the cool stone floor. He lead me through the doors - which I must add are made of a smooth hard marble, on the out side of eithor door stood two gaurds holding spears in their hands and with a stern look on their faces as they looked ahead as we walked past them. Alic must of have seen the concern that was planted on my face. "Bad things can hapen in one's bedchamber no matter the company," He sais looking ahead, "especially a princes."
"Am I that bad thing?" I had to ask, Alic shakes his head and leads me down the brightly lit hall, every thing seemes to be made from stone, Marble, Gold, or Jewels. Occasinally we will pass some servents who cary linnion food trays or laundry. It is imposible to keep track of what halls we go down and how meny doors we go through, now I understand that 'Palace' really suts this place if not call it a whole different city within walls and a ruff. Alic lead me to an arched corridor, he stopped and turned to me.
"So where am I anyways?"
Alic leans toward me and whispers into my ear, "Hattusha."
"Where is that," I ask running the name over and over in my mind.
"Take a look for your self...," He said looking at me and smiled. Still holding my hand he lead me through the arch door and outside, as i stepped out side I look around me and i knew I had my answer.





CHAPTER 3
Hattusha
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Posted 2/6/10
You certainly have talent. You have grammar and spelling mistakes here and there. Here are some important suggestions:

1. When you write make sure to make it's double-spaced so readers aren't confused.
2. Also, the next time you write put more explanation and descriptions and less dialogue.
3. Focus on the setting, time and place so the story can be pictured more clearly.
4. When it comes to someone's age, describe how old they are more discreetly or indirectly.
5. Don't only focus on Anna and that guy. If you have other characters, they have backgrounds too so explain them just as much. Don't just focus on your protagonist. Remember, it's a story that your main character happens to be in not a shrine for your protagonist.
6. Don't make the love story too sappy. I can see it's a love story so I look forward to reading more about it but don't only write about the couple. Explain how they came to meet, their personalities and why they're falling in love.
7. There are other and more elements to a love story too like crimes, themes, wars, sports or tragic pasts. Make sure you have something other than romance in your story.

Hopefully you'll improve the next time you write. If it's a fantasy romance, those types of stories are my thing. I look forward to reading more it. Just don't forget to pay attention to my suggestions.
Posted 2/6/10

SakuraSenin wrote:

You certainly have talent. You have grammar and spelling mistakes here and there. Here are some important suggestions:

1. When you write make sure to make it's double-spaced so readers aren't confused.
2. Also, the next time you write put more explanation and descriptions and less dialogue.
3. Focus on the setting, time and place so the story can be pictured more clearly.
4. When it comes to someone's age, describe how old they are more discreetly or indirectly.
5. Don't only focus on Anna and that guy. If you have other characters, they have backgrounds too so explain them just as much. Don't just focus on your protagonist. Remember, it's a story that your main character happens to be in not a shrine for your protagonist.
6. Don't make the love story too sappy. I can see it's a love story so I look forward to reading more about it but don't only write about the couple. Explain how they came to meet, their personalities and why they're falling in love.
7. There are other and more elements to a love story too like crimes, themes, wars, sports or tragic pasts. Make sure you have something other than romance in your story.

Hopefully you'll improve the next time you write. If it's a fantasy romance, those types of stories are my thing. I look forward to reading more it. Just don't forget to pay attention to my suggestions.


ok tx n u will be finding out alot more as the story goes on...
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