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Posted 2/12/10
Title: When He Loved Me
Author: wykedpanda @ livejournal.com
Pairing: OnKey, Onew/Key
Rating: PG
Summary: Onew's a ragdoll and Key slowly forgets him.
Disclaimer: My story. The end.

A/N: This is based off the song, "When She Loved Me" by Sarah McLachlan. I altered the gender of the lyrics to match this story. It's a beautiful song really, and from the movie Toy Story, which absolutely rocked my world. No hating on Disney please! ^__^ Oh, and.... un-beta-ed so..yes.


[italicized sentences are part of the lyrics of the song mentioned above.]



When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart


"Mommy, look what daddy bought me!" Eight year-old Kim Kibum excitedly clutched the doll tightly to his chest, eyes alight in a child's joy. He eagerly displayed the newly acquired toy: a three foot tall rag doll with a round face, large brown glass eyes winking in the pale light, dark hair falling in ragged tuffs, and a small, pink smile lining the pale cloth face. Kibum beamed radiantly and hugged the small figure, brushing strands of hair from its eyes.

"I think I'll call you Onew," Kibum said quietly, observing the doll's face carefully. He stared into those chocolate orbs and let out a soft giggle. "Onew," he whispered into the doll's ear. "I think we'll be great friends."


Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just he and I together, like it was meant to be


"Sit here and don't move," Kibum said sternly, pausing to pat Onew on the head before rushing out of the bedroom. It had been two years since his arrival, and Onew still remained Kibum's best friend. A whole entourage of stuffed animals, dolls, games, and other figurines had come and gone, but he, the ragdoll, had stayed.

On Kibum's birthdays, Onew had heard the sweet wishes whispered into his ear.

With the first snowfall, Onew had seen the white flakes adorn Key's pale face, eliciting joyful giggles from the boy.

At Kibum's first day in the new elementary school, Onew had been tight in Kibum's arms, offering security and familiarity to a scared child.

Sometimes, Onew wished he could smile back, wished he could return those warm hugs and light kisses. But when Kibum laughed beautifully and his face lit up with a thousand explosions, Onew was glad he had those unblinking glass eyes to witness such beauty forever.


And when he was sad, I was there to dry his tears
And when he was happy, so was i, when he loved me.


Onew watched from the bed as a twelve-year-old Kibum stormed into his bedroom. He flung his backpack into the wall and let out a choked sob before tearing apart his room. Books, pens, pillows, lamps, and posters were caught in frenzy, whirling around with careless tosses, heaved into the walls and floor.

Kibum grabbed Onew's frayed arm and tugged him into a tight hug, flattening the cotton stuffing inside. Wet tears stained Onew's hair, and heavy cries vibrated against Onew's chest. As he felt Kibum tremble around him, Onew wished he could talk. He wished he could move and wipe away those terrible tears, those heart-wrenching sobs.

But, fate was cruel and he was forced to watch instead, forced to gaze helplessly while the young boy suffered alone.

The only thing Onew could do was offer lifeless hugs and the promise that he would always be there for Kibum.


So the years went by, I stayed the same
And he began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when he'd say "i will always love you."


Every night, Kibum would gaze into Onew's chocolate eyes and talk for hours. It might be about his day, about that shirt he wanted, or about those friends at his school. Whatever the topic, Onew would always listen intently, relishing the light timbre of Kibum's voice, the ups and downs of pitches, the light whispers that caressed his cloth exterior.

That was until Kibum began talking to someone else, spending hours on the phone or chatting online.

Nightly hugs were shortened until completely forgotten, hastily shoved aside by Kibum's tired yawns and eagerness to fall asleep.

Onew's place on the bed was soon replaced by piles of clothing: bright pink shirts, mulit-coloured pants, and eccentric jackets. He was moved to the desk, until the brand new laptop arrived.

Then it was the bureau, until the mp3 playing boombox tookover. Soon, Onew sat on the highest shelf of the bookcase, collecting dust on his ragged clothing, hair limping and matted around his face. His once white cloth exterior slowly turned a hue of yellow, clashing horribly with the purple jacket Kibum once made for him.

But Onew didn't mind, not as long as he could still gaze at Kibum. With his new place on the shelf, Onew could watch Kibum better, still hear his tinkling laugh, still see that shine in his eyes.


Lonely and forgotten, never thought he'd look my way

Kibum tumbled into his bedroom, running into the wall and heaving breathy sighs as he tried to find his balance. Onew watched in dismay as Kibum rolled onto the floor, telltale signs of needle pricks on his arm, of booze reeking from his clothes. He groaned in agony before hurling his stomach's contents onto the floor. Strong tremors wracked his thin frame, and painful headaches pounded his head.

Where had his little Kibum gone, the small child who laughed in delightful peals, who found fascination in the smallest things of life- the innocent little boy, his best friend. He was now replaced with this lost young man, a teen who had given up his youth for the night life and all the dangers with it.

From his dusty shelf, Onew prayed unceasingly that he could always protect Kibum.

He didn't remember the last time Kibum had held him in his arms. He couldn't recall the last time Kibum had laughed in a carefree manner, when he had whispered sweet nothings into Onew's ear.

Onew prayed that he could go back to such times.


He smiled at me and held me, just like he used to do,
Like he loved me, when he loved me



"Mom, I can't find Onew!" Kibum shrieked. Clothes and other objects flew around the room as Kibum hastily moved things. He desperately searched the entire closet, all his drawers, under the bed. "No...no...I couldn't have lost you," Kibum pleaded, tears threatening to spill as he continued to search.

His hands shook, small whimpers escaping every now and then, as he ran around the room.

"I need you," Kibum whispered. He reached to the top shelf of the bookcase, tiptoed and arms stretched as his hands roved the dusty surface. Blank space filled his hand.

"Kibum, come down for a minute!" his mother yelled from downstairs. He continued searching around the room, desperate to find what was lost.

"Kibum!"

The anxious boy searched one more time before collapsing on the ground, terrified sobs trembling his body. "What do I do....I need you..." Kibum whimpered, shaking back and forth.

"Kibum, you have a guest!"

He ignored his mother's calls, oblivious to the world. His carelessness had lost his one true friend, the one friend who had remained faithful through all the years.

Soft padded footsteps slowly made their way into his room. A soft hand lightly caressed his head.

Kibum jerked up to see a round face, dark hair falling in ragged tuffs, and a small, pink smile. Warm chocolate gazed into his own, twinkling in the pale light.

"Hi, I'm Jinki."


sainee: special thanks to wykedpanda for allowing me to share this fanfic ..
and Thanks to y.o.u ... for reading it.. (:

Posted 2/12/10
Omg! This is soo sad :[ I almost cried.
I remember crying like hell while watching toy story 2 when I was a kid.
Jesse and her owner's story :[
*sighs* Onkey makes it even sadder TT__TT

the ending was kindda nice <3

// Thanks for posting~ :]
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Posted 2/14/10
awwh gosh... this story is so cute and sad at the same time!!! and the ending is really cute!!! such a nice story!! <3
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20 / F / Sidoarjo, East Ja...
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Posted 2/26/10
it makes me cry look at all my tears this is so sad... I love the ending so much
Posted 11/13/10
thats so sad
Posted 6/3/11
@ JeN15 I very much agree with you! This was sadder then Toy Story DXDXDXDX
Posted 6/3/11
^ Agreed.
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Posted 6/29/11
I wish she wrote what happened after this. ;<
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