Post Reply [MC] Untitled Story.
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21 / F / Northern Mariana...
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Posted 3/6/10
Hey ! Im Yuniks. This is the first time I'll be posting a story.
For now, i'll just give you guys a little teaser of the story.
Leave some comments on what did you think about the story.

Well, there's no HSJ here yet.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT !
AND TELL ME WHAT YOU HONESTLY THINK ABOUT THE STORY !

HERE IT GOES ! :





It was a hard thunderstorm as I recall. The rain was banging against the windows. A loud thunder strikes, everything shuts off. I went straight to my room & lighted my candles. I opened my window, but I closed the door in the balcony.
I can hear the angry winds crash to the wall, the cold shivers went against my soft fair skin. I shut my book, & lay into my bed.
As I lay down, I stared at the ceiling and thought about what my father said.

“Rika, you must be extra careful nowadays. You never know what may happen these days. You should take care of yourself, my only daughter.”

I closed my eyes.

I heard a loud bang against the doors, everything was a blur. I rose, to go check what is going on. As I reach for my door knob, I heard one of my chamber maids, begging.

“Please, do not go inside. I beg you! “

Shivers climbed up to my spine. I rushed to the phone, there wasn’t any connection. I couldn’t find my phone. A loud crash I hear on my door. They were forcing their way in. I rushed inside my bathroom, I locked myself in.
I heard the door crash down against the floor, I assume that they had made their way in. I tried to look, I saw there were at least 4 men inside my room, and they were all wearing a mask. I think that they heard me gasp
& went for the bathroom.

I heard the twists on my door knob, it paused, and then a forceful push knocked the door down. I didn’t get to see a clear view of his face, he pulled me, forced me to come with them, I refused, the next thing I know, a handkerchief with a weird, strong scent was in my face, which caused me to lose my consciousness.
- - - - -

I heard the rush of water, I gained my consciousness. I tried to stand up, I still feel dizzy from the scent.

I found my balance & finally managed to stand up. I see a vivid view of a river; I’m on the side of the river, up the hill I can see people passing by.

I wonder why they didn’t see me and called for help. I looked on the river, that’s weird, I didn’t see my reflection. I started to walk up the hill, I see few people. But one has caught my eye.

A couple, happily walking with their hands stuck together. I can see the happiness glowing in their eyes. I tried to talk to them, but they don’t seem to hear me.

I walked ahead of them, trying to get their attention. I reached for the girl’s hand, but my hand just passed, like nothing. They just walked pass by me, I passed like air.

My heart thumped. Hard.

I walked faster & tried to reach other people. I still pass by them. No one seems to see me, no one even felt my presence.

What’s going on? Why I can’t touch other people? Why didn’t I see my reflection? What happened to me? Am I…am I… Dead?




Please, don't forget to leave some comments and tell me what you think of it ! ~

♥ Yuniks
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20 / F / Somewhere in the...
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Posted 3/6/10 , edited 3/6/10
Cute~

I didn't expect it to be this uhm... tragic? well, at least not tragic, a little level lower than tragic that is.
I'm now interested. Is the girl really dead? Please post the next chappies. I'm waiting for it. ^^
And Good Luck. Even though it seems like there is no one active in this group, I still check it everyday so yeah. I'll be waiting for it. ^^
Posted 3/7/10
Uwaa~
You`ve finally posted it here :]
OMEDETOU Yuniks!

Since you were there for me during Sweet Serenades. I`ll be commenting here too.
Although, I`m pretty sure you`ve heard from me already.
So, I guess, just keep it up okaaay? :]
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21 / F / Northern Mariana...
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Posted 3/7/10

elemental_gerad109 wrote:

Cute~

I didn't expect it to be this uhm... tragic? well, at least not tragic, a little level lower than tragic that is.
I'm now interested. Is the girl really dead? Please post the next chappies. I'm waiting for it. ^^
And Good Luck. Even though it seems like there is no one active in this group, I still check it everyday so yeah. I'll be waiting for it. ^^


Oh ! Thank you, hahahaha!
WELL, her story is tragic ... but i still need more responses for me to post the first chappie
Thank you, I know i rarely see the authors online here. O:
I'll be updating you if im going to post the first chapter .
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21 / F / Northern Mariana...
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Posted 3/7/10

tyndyl wrote:

Uwaa~
You`ve finally posted it here :]
OMEDETOU Yuniks!

Since you were there for me during Sweet Serenades. I`ll be commenting here too.
Although, I`m pretty sure you`ve heard from me already.
So, I guess, just keep it up okaaay? :]


Yup, hahaha. Thanks Tyndzz !
I guess i want more responses bago ko ipost yung first chapter..
which is a FAILURE !
T_____T
EH. XD
Posted 3/7/10

yuniks_07 wrote:

Yup, hahaha. Thanks Tyndzz !
I guess i want more responses bago ko ipost yung first chapter..
which is a FAILURE !
T_____T
EH. XD


Well, if you think about it, it is kinda hard considering that the group is somewhat inactive.
I tried doing the same for Sweet Serenades (I failed terribly too)
I started with only 10 comments for the first chapter (which took quite some time)
Don`t worry you`ll get readers along the way :]
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