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Do you ever struggle to keep your friends?
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35 / M / South Gate, Calif...
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Posted 4/23/10

silveReally wrote:


Deftones1079 wrote:


Fortuna wrote:

I disagree with the 'real friendship needs no maintenance' thing. Everything needs effort. There are times when even good friends need a little 'hanging onto' when they're having a hard time. However if it takes a lot of effort a lot of the time, then that is not a friendship worth the trouble.


Anything worth holding on to requires effort, friendships are no different. I'm very loyal to my friends and regardless of how i think or how i rationalize things i try not to be judgemental when my friends are in need. I agree with you about how we all need hanging onto at times. My friend has been battling depression for almost a year because she is 24 has one kid and her ex does not give her money for the baby and her whole family disown her. Sometimes she is crying in my lap or hugging me and tells me that if it wasn't for me she would feel lost, when i hear that i feel good that i can mean so much to one person. I always try to comfort her and try to help her as much as i can.


I think ur just pitying her for the sake of yourself. People often do feel sorry for the other person especially if they lost their loved ones but that doesn`t help but take time away from u. You should instead give her a solution instead of just dragging the option of being with her.


No, We are not a couple nor do we plan on being one. We've been friends for the last 11 years, we got really close and we've never talk about being a couple. She is more like a sister to me, I tried to listen and understand where she is coming from and if she asks me for advice then i give it to her. I don't mind spending time with her because we are good friends and while sometimes were not doing fun stuff i don't feel like its time wasted.
Posted 4/23/10

Deftones1079 wrote:


silveReally wrote:


Deftones1079 wrote:


Fortuna wrote:

I disagree with the 'real friendship needs no maintenance' thing. Everything needs effort. There are times when even good friends need a little 'hanging onto' when they're having a hard time. However if it takes a lot of effort a lot of the time, then that is not a friendship worth the trouble.


Anything worth holding on to requires effort, friendships are no different. I'm very loyal to my friends and regardless of how i think or how i rationalize things i try not to be judgemental when my friends are in need. I agree with you about how we all need hanging onto at times. My friend has been battling depression for almost a year because she is 24 has one kid and her ex does not give her money for the baby and her whole family disown her. Sometimes she is crying in my lap or hugging me and tells me that if it wasn't for me she would feel lost, when i hear that i feel good that i can mean so much to one person. I always try to comfort her and try to help her as much as i can.


I think ur just pitying her for the sake of yourself. People often do feel sorry for the other person especially if they lost their loved ones but that doesn`t help but take time away from u. You should instead give her a solution instead of just dragging the option of being with her.


No, We are not a couple nor do we plan on being one. We've been friends for the last 11 years, we got really close and we've never talk about being a couple. She is more like a sister to me, I tried to listen and understand where she is coming from and if she asks me for advice then i give it to her. I don't mind spending time with her because we are good friends and while sometimes were not doing fun stuff i don't feel like its time wasted.


I didn`t say u were a couple. What I was saying is you shouldn`t feel the need to be so close with just her. If she has problems, it might cause a problem with the relationship. Usually if a girl asks you for a favor, you need to answer the question - what if she only needs you
just to feel satisfied with herself and drag someone into the mess their in. Imo I would tell her to go see a doctor and find a method to help lower or cure her depression.
Posted 4/23/10
nope, i just keep it cool.
Posted 4/23/10
Yeah, my friends don't always like me. And I don't always like them. We don't really spend much time together.
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22 / F
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Posted 4/23/10
I don't really talk to them except for school, outside of school I have like 3 friends and I only struggle a little when I feel that we haven't met in a while.
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21 / M / heh; not sure
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Posted 4/24/10

ZeaBreeze wrote:

I don't really talk to them except for school, outside of school I have like 3 friends and I only struggle a little when I feel that we haven't met in a while.


thats exactly like my best friend
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34 / M
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Posted 4/24/10
The moment I open my mouth about where I stand on political or social views, that's where I struggle to keep friends.
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23 / M
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Posted 4/24/10
Sometimes. There are friends who I can be really casual and carefree around, and there are those where I have to watch what I say in front of them. Its also really depressing when friends start drifting away from you.
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25 / M / The Vill
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Posted 4/24/10
fuck making friends...imma just keep on making enemies
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25 / M / Up Yours!!!
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Posted 4/24/10

erjeel wrote:

well maybe yes coz sometimes there comes a time that distance, being busy at school or going on separate ways is maybe a reason that they couldn't stay there always .sometimes you have to make a move in order for them to remember you or communicate with you its really hard(i know that feeling) ..sometimes you will get tired of this and just let them be or let them do whatever they want..


yea i agree with u alot actually..
there is a time when u dompletly find yourself busy all of a sudden.. school, work, or even doing something on your own y'know.
it is hard keeping making friendshop last.. i wont say it isn't. but at the same time, when u have that friend that is totally close to you.. it doesn;'t seem that hard y 'know.

i've had my fair share of losing friends who i thought were close to me.. some were my fault i'll admit to that, but some.. well lets jus say ppl change!
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25 / M / Up Yours!!!
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Posted 4/24/10

ZeaBreeze wrote:

I don't really talk to them except for school, outside of school I have like 3 friends and I only struggle a little when I feel that we haven't met in a while.


and u too.. i agree with you!

okay myself for example.. i know alot of guys in school, guys i dont even know apparently know me somehow. it all comes down to, you can know alot of ppl in school, thousands of friends in facebook... but in the end, who matters is the ppl u find yourself with them all the time, you find yuorself comfortable with, you can do or say anything and not worry what they;ll think coz u know that they know u. Those are your true friends!
you might get into a fight or 2 along the way.. but fuck, with close friends, the nxt day its as if nothing ever happened! lolz xD
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Posted 4/24/10
Quite the opposite, it seems. I'm struggling to get rid of a certain 'friend'.
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22 / M / Clouds
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Posted 4/24/10
If they don't want to be friends anymore,
I really don't mind,
cause I always hate my friends before we get real close.
They have to pass my lame test xD
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38 / M / Los Angeles Calif...
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Posted 4/24/10
I struggle, but mostly with myself. Its hard, but a true friend is worth the struggle.
Posted 4/24/10
ya kinda i already lost all of my friends cause one person isnt my friend anymore and they all took her side so now im just hangin out with these other two girls that are acually loyal and it is kinda of a struggle to keep them considerin i always fight with one and the other one is gettin swept of her feet with but another girl and were gettin left behind -_- but were all good at the end of the day and forgive each other
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