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Happiness
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Posted 4/28/10

thekealii wrote:

with that i both agree and disagree. Its a real gray area because everybody has their different view of "Happiness." as for me, my view of happiness is living a life with a woman I've fallen for, the kids we have, and as comfortably as a family can live. I dont need to be rich, just have enough money to provide for my family and the future of my family. You see, my view of happiness requires the essential material things.

But i do see your point. I feel most at peace by myself when im in a natural setting whether it be camping, visiting the ocean, or just taking a hike. And those don't require material things, but the bigger picture still remains the same.

I feel the only way i will be able to die happy is knowing i did a good job as a husband, father, and provider, and knowing they will be allright without me.


Yeah, I also agree with what you said. If every body acted like a free spirited 8 year old, what would actually get done in the world? Isn't life also experiencing the trials and tribulations that come with it?. Also, almost every parent I have ever spoken with wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I definitely feel where your coming from. Good thoughts.
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Posted 4/28/10

Maou068 wrote:


Romeo wrote:


Maou068 wrote:

If you live in a poor country like Philippines, you'll realized that true happiness cannot be found by material gain alone.


all people can realize that, even if ur not living in a poor country
u can even realize that if u live in usa, germany, italy
its just that those who dont, are just dumbfucks


That's certainly true but the fact that most 1st world countries like the one that you've mentioned are drowned by their consummated pleasure seeking tendencies (most of them anyway). In other words, they are drowned by false happiness.

Moreover, 1st world countries are more likely to have a weak family bond which made their lives even more miserable. Which is why Americans are beginning to learn from the Chinese about family bonds.


thats correct as well, i wont deny that people in 1st world countries have a tendecy for such things and are greedy in many aspects
even tho we have so much compared to other people, we are still greedy and many people here even have a problem with sharing,
thats why i respect for example african people... they have like nothing, but what they have they hold dear and share
i wont deny it, i mean.. when i got my blackberry or my ipod..of course i was really happy, but i know that this isnt the happiness that im really longing for, im happy with my life, really.. as i stated above, but its not even close to being satisfied, i still got a long way to go and to gain "real happinness" u aint need a blackberry or an ipod

but i think ur wrong with saying "1st world countries are more likely to have a weak family bond"
i think it's just a different kind of bond, i wouldnt even say that its weak compared to countries like africa or so, its just different..nothing else

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Posted 4/28/10

kmkq8 wrote:


bigdady166 wrote:


Why do we spend our lives going to school for 18 years in order to pay the bills and build up credit card debt?” I feel like the only reason I go to my classes’ everyday is because I live in fear of what the future would be like if I didn’t. If you could be the happiest man in the world, why bother spending seven hours a day in a stuffy building doing something I didn't want to be doing, with 25 other people who didn't want to be doing it either? I mean, where’s the logic in that? Why do the majorities of us spend the short lives we have going to school, becoming middle class desk jockeys, paying the bills, building our lives around material possessions, retiring, and end up slowing dying in some nursing home because our children won’t take the time and care for us. I feel as if everything I’m doing right now is in order to become some stereotypical product of society which has gradually changed over time, but never ceases to be the accepted standard. If you had one chance to become the happiest person in the world, at the cost of everything material you ever loved, would you take it? Why would there be any hesitation at all? I mean true happiness? Once you were truly happy you would have nothing to worry about. So why spend time worrying about how others see you, having a fancy house, having the latest things in technology? The only reason I’m asking these questions is so people can rethink the way they walk, rethink their state of mind, and rethink how they get up in the morning. Two years ago I set off on a journey. No set plans no were to go, all the time just letting the wind at my back guide me along. I traveled through Africa, and East Asia. I left everything I had once loved behind with my friends and family, the only thing I had were the clothes on my back and one bag. During that time, I had never felt such a feeling in my entire life. It was amazing to me to see people with clothes most people would call rags, playing and laughing with an energy so great, it startled me at first. The immense glow which shown from their eyes when they played, the most peaceful tone of voice in which they spoke almost melted my soul. Yet they had nothing, and would probably never see anything we people who live in modernized world call necessities. During that 2 year exploration I never realized what it meant to be happy; and now that I’m back to living my old life, the old bills, and the things I always thought I needed, I finally realized. Those few years with absolutely nothing, sharing things with people who had nothing at all to share, I can finally say that all the while…..I was drowning in life’s ocean we call happiness.

This is just an experience I had, and only my opinion. Any thoughts, questions, or other stories you guys might have about what happiness is?


I enjoyed reading that....a lot

i always sit in my class thinking about the same thing......why i am doing this? to be some guy doing paper works in some desk for the rest of my life?.......and its true, i am afraid what will happen if i didn't do it..........


Yes, and personally, I think thats one of the feelings that comes bundled with the privilege (or not, however you wish to view it) of living in a first world country. We are constantly being bombarded with what we SOULD be like, even if it's at the cost of our own happiness. Just want to say, while I was living in a small village in northern Nepal, it literally felt as if they were frozen in time. Compared to where I'm living now, it felt like I had been whipped back into the past 400 years. But, they were so content with what they had, never wanting more of this, or complaining about what they didn't have. They really appreciated each other, and only the things which kept them living. It was truly a surreal experience to say the least. Thats why I think more people need to travel the world.
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dreamwalker79 wrote:

I've been going through the same as you and I remembered when I was a kid, the one thing I wanted to do was go to Japan, just to see if it was really how I saw it on TV. I was fascinated by anime at a young age, and along with anything else, I used my imagination a lot. While I was growing up, I lost my father at the age of 13, and lost my grandparents during HS, it tore me up and just threw me into adulthood right away, I was torn. Which was I to be, a teenager or grown up? I kept asking myself various questions, more complex than the next. There were expectations that were needed to uphold and the more I thought of it, the more I began to hate what I was about to become. One day, I went out in the back to see how I could salvage the den into something I could use for myself. It was there that I found an old mock playwright I did for Sonic the Hedgehog 2 so I read what I wrote those 19 years ago. I remembered back in Jr. High, a friend of mine gave me some sound advice: "Find what you can do and enjoy what you're doing." While reading my old playwrights, game ideas and other brainstorm sessions, that's where my true calling was..as a writer. I tried to go to college after High School, but I just didn't feel like it was for me. I felt like what I've been doing this time has not been for my benefit, but for my family so that they could have something or someone to talk about, I didn't want that.
When I was 24, I decided to do the most daring choice I could ever do: go to Japan. My fiancee at the time paid for my ticket, all I had to do was pack and have all my necessary documents to do so. I finally went after I got my passport and I was feeling pretty good. I get to see what I wanted to see as a kid.. While living there, I took care of the house. I eventually got married but it didn't last that long. But while I was there, I took in the sights, saw the people and learned the language (or the essentials) in under a year. I found that learning through pure anime gave me a nice headstart, also I sang a lot of Japanese songs just so I can eventually understand it better. My teachers were so impressed that they couldn't believe an outsider like me would comprehend the language in that short a time. I stayed in Yotsukaido for a year. Yotsukaido is in the Kanto region in Japan and it was a lot like Los Angeles, only smaller. One day, I did something I never thought I could do..I actually went on a journey just for the hell of it. I walked from the house, past the mall until I reached a temple and just did some reflecting there. It awakened the wanderer within myself and I felt excited, it inspired more to do some more writing. It was a four hour walk and I didn't feel the least bit tired. I only stopped for a drink but other than that, not much else. In June 2004, I left Japan on a satisfied note... I found out that while I was getting myself checked out in the states, my 'then' wife had cheated behind my back, she tried to patch things up but I had enough. She also carried my child but it died a stillborn. I saw it as a relief because I didn't want any child of mine to grow up in a loveless relationship with their parents, so I saved it from being born. There was an anime once that I saw that tugged at me so much, I cried. I t hen wrote a poem in tribute of my unborn child... Fast forward 5 years, I get some notices from the Library of Congress about my works and they're approved as copyrights and then later down the same week, I get an offer to have my books done by a subsidy publishing group, my family and I discussed it with them..worked out the details, signed the contract and copied it for my documents. The book is scheduled to be released in 2011 entitled "The Legacy of the Seven Stars" and the more I put down in my writings, the more excited I get.


Wow, that sounds like an amazing endeavor you took on, especially at that point in your life. I also think its wonderful you followed your heart and did what you really wanted to do all your life. I think more people would be happier if they did what they really wanted to do, than just follow some meaningless work because of the paycheck. I.e. I have a friend who works as a company lawyer, and aside from the 175k paycheck, I impatiently listen to him every week talk about how much he hates his work. On the other hand, I have a friend who works as a potter and makes 30k a year. He boards with 3 other people in a small house, but every week I enjoy hearing his colorful stories about new ideas, along with how much fun he has with his room mates. Just a little story I thought I should share.
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Posted 4/28/10

bigdady166 wrote:


dreamwalker79 wrote:

I've been going through the same as you and I remembered when I was a kid, the one thing I wanted to do was go to Japan, just to see if it was really how I saw it on TV. I was fascinated by anime at a young age, and along with anything else, I used my imagination a lot. While I was growing up, I lost my father at the age of 13, and lost my grandparents during HS, it tore me up and just threw me into adulthood right away, I was torn. Which was I to be, a teenager or grown up? I kept asking myself various questions, more complex than the next. There were expectations that were needed to uphold and the more I thought of it, the more I began to hate what I was about to become. One day, I went out in the back to see how I could salvage the den into something I could use for myself. It was there that I found an old mock playwright I did for Sonic the Hedgehog 2 so I read what I wrote those 19 years ago. I remembered back in Jr. High, a friend of mine gave me some sound advice: "Find what you can do and enjoy what you're doing." While reading my old playwrights, game ideas and other brainstorm sessions, that's where my true calling was..as a writer. I tried to go to college after High School, but I just didn't feel like it was for me. I felt like what I've been doing this time has not been for my benefit, but for my family so that they could have something or someone to talk about, I didn't want that.
When I was 24, I decided to do the most daring choice I could ever do: go to Japan. My fiancee at the time paid for my ticket, all I had to do was pack and have all my necessary documents to do so. I finally went after I got my passport and I was feeling pretty good. I get to see what I wanted to see as a kid.. While living there, I took care of the house. I eventually got married but it didn't last that long. But while I was there, I took in the sights, saw the people and learned the language (or the essentials) in under a year. I found that learning through pure anime gave me a nice headstart, also I sang a lot of Japanese songs just so I can eventually understand it better. My teachers were so impressed that they couldn't believe an outsider like me would comprehend the language in that short a time. I stayed in Yotsukaido for a year. Yotsukaido is in the Kanto region in Japan and it was a lot like Los Angeles, only smaller. One day, I did something I never thought I could do..I actually went on a journey just for the hell of it. I walked from the house, past the mall until I reached a temple and just did some reflecting there. It awakened the wanderer within myself and I felt excited, it inspired more to do some more writing. It was a four hour walk and I didn't feel the least bit tired. I only stopped for a drink but other than that, not much else. In June 2004, I left Japan on a satisfied note... I found out that while I was getting myself checked out in the states, my 'then' wife had cheated behind my back, she tried to patch things up but I had enough. She also carried my child but it died a stillborn. I saw it as a relief because I didn't want any child of mine to grow up in a loveless relationship with their parents, so I saved it from being born. There was an anime once that I saw that tugged at me so much, I cried. I t hen wrote a poem in tribute of my unborn child... Fast forward 5 years, I get some notices from the Library of Congress about my works and they're approved as copyrights and then later down the same week, I get an offer to have my books done by a subsidy publishing group, my family and I discussed it with them..worked out the details, signed the contract and copied it for my documents. The book is scheduled to be released in 2011 entitled "The Legacy of the Seven Stars" and the more I put down in my writings, the more excited I get.


Wow, that sounds like an amazing endeavor you took on, especially at that point in your life. I also think its wonderful you followed your heart and did what you really wanted to do all your life. I think more people would be happier if they did what they really wanted to do, than just follow some meaningless work because of the paycheck. I.e. I have a friend who works as a company lawyer, and aside from the 175k paycheck, I impatiently listen to him every week talk about how much he hates his work. On the other hand, I have a friend who works as a potter and makes 30k a year. He boards with 3 other people in a small house, but every week I enjoy hearing his colorful stories about new ideas, along with how much fun he has with his room mates. Just a little story I thought I should share.


I feel that while money is all well and good, it can't buy true happiness. It may take care of the bills, put food on the table and keep your home running smooth, true happiness comes from the heart and I rather put in the work, time and energy into what I'm naturally good at and feel happy about what I'm doing than being rich and miserable. I rather my money being put into practical use like the materials needed for my work and pleasure. It's best to take life and shape it how you see fit. When I taught poetry once, I told them this: "There is no right or wrong in poetry." Same with life, there is no right or wrong way to live your life, it's all on what you plan to do with yours after you learn the difference.
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Posted 4/28/10

dreamwalker79 wrote:


bigdady166 wrote:


dreamwalker79 wrote:

I've been going through the same as you and I remembered when I was a kid, the one thing I wanted to do was go to Japan, just to see if it was really how I saw it on TV. I was fascinated by anime at a young age, and along with anything else, I used my imagination a lot. While I was growing up, I lost my father at the age of 13, and lost my grandparents during HS, it tore me up and just threw me into adulthood right away, I was torn. Which was I to be, a teenager or grown up? I kept asking myself various questions, more complex than the next. There were expectations that were needed to uphold and the more I thought of it, the more I began to hate what I was about to become. One day, I went out in the back to see how I could salvage the den into something I could use for myself. It was there that I found an old mock playwright I did for Sonic the Hedgehog 2 so I read what I wrote those 19 years ago. I remembered back in Jr. High, a friend of mine gave me some sound advice: "Find what you can do and enjoy what you're doing." While reading my old playwrights, game ideas and other brainstorm sessions, that's where my true calling was..as a writer. I tried to go to college after High School, but I just didn't feel like it was for me. I felt like what I've been doing this time has not been for my benefit, but for my family so that they could have something or someone to talk about, I didn't want that.
When I was 24, I decided to do the most daring choice I could ever do: go to Japan. My fiancee at the time paid for my ticket, all I had to do was pack and have all my necessary documents to do so. I finally went after I got my passport and I was feeling pretty good. I get to see what I wanted to see as a kid.. While living there, I took care of the house. I eventually got married but it didn't last that long. But while I was there, I took in the sights, saw the people and learned the language (or the essentials) in under a year. I found that learning through pure anime gave me a nice headstart, also I sang a lot of Japanese songs just so I can eventually understand it better. My teachers were so impressed that they couldn't believe an outsider like me would comprehend the language in that short a time. I stayed in Yotsukaido for a year. Yotsukaido is in the Kanto region in Japan and it was a lot like Los Angeles, only smaller. One day, I did something I never thought I could do..I actually went on a journey just for the hell of it. I walked from the house, past the mall until I reached a temple and just did some reflecting there. It awakened the wanderer within myself and I felt excited, it inspired more to do some more writing. It was a four hour walk and I didn't feel the least bit tired. I only stopped for a drink but other than that, not much else. In June 2004, I left Japan on a satisfied note... I found out that while I was getting myself checked out in the states, my 'then' wife had cheated behind my back, she tried to patch things up but I had enough. She also carried my child but it died a stillborn. I saw it as a relief because I didn't want any child of mine to grow up in a loveless relationship with their parents, so I saved it from being born. There was an anime once that I saw that tugged at me so much, I cried. I t hen wrote a poem in tribute of my unborn child... Fast forward 5 years, I get some notices from the Library of Congress about my works and they're approved as copyrights and then later down the same week, I get an offer to have my books done by a subsidy publishing group, my family and I discussed it with them..worked out the details, signed the contract and copied it for my documents. The book is scheduled to be released in 2011 entitled "The Legacy of the Seven Stars" and the more I put down in my writings, the more excited I get.


Wow, that sounds like an amazing endeavor you took on, especially at that point in your life. I also think its wonderful you followed your heart and did what you really wanted to do all your life. I think more people would be happier if they did what they really wanted to do, than just follow some meaningless work because of the paycheck. I.e. I have a friend who works as a company lawyer, and aside from the 175k paycheck, I impatiently listen to him every week talk about how much he hates his work. On the other hand, I have a friend who works as a potter and makes 30k a year. He boards with 3 other people in a small house, but every week I enjoy hearing his colorful stories about new ideas, along with how much fun he has with his room mates. Just a little story I thought I should share.


I feel that while money is all well and good, it can't buy true happiness. It may take care of the bills, put food on the table and keep your home running smooth, true happiness comes from the heart and I rather put in the work, time and energy into what I'm naturally good at and feel happy about what I'm doing than being rich and miserable. I rather my money being put into practical use like the materials needed for my work and pleasure. It's best to take life and shape it how you see fit. When I taught poetry once, I told them this: "There is no right or wrong in poetry." Same with life, there is no right or wrong way to live your life, it's all on what you plan to do with yours after you learn the difference.


Yes, and I totally agree with you. I wish to touch on this topic more, unfortunately I must be getting to bed. Its 4:11 am here, and I need to wake up in 2 hors...oh boy. Hopefully this thread will still be here. Goodnight for now.
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Posted 4/28/10
For me happiness would have been, not have so many head injuries as a kid where i felt very little pain or none being around friends. I guess to most that seems so easy 47 and still have break downs. Something people take for granted here in the USA
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These are such good thoughts, this topic really needs to get back to the front page. Any stories, question, or thoughts other people might wish to share?
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This is where I think dreams shows a purpose. There are different kinds of dreams. Impossible ones, like wanting to have the ability to fly (without equipment) Dreams stemming from being a fanatic, dreams leading you down the wrong path. No need to point out that not all dreams are good for you.

But dreams in pursuit of happiness, are those we live to fulfill. If you spend 18 years or more in a dreary classroom, the only way to make it less dreary is to have a goal with your education. Like becoming an astronaut or an author or whatever your dream leads you to become.




Myself. I enjoyed school from the beginning. I didn't like studying but I liked learning. Contradicting I know. When I started enjoying reading, my grades naturally turned out great. And I did good in school. I had really good grades until I started my second year in High School. Then reality started to catch up with me. Ever since I was little I was fighting a depression that no one knew I had. I didn't feel right, something was wrong with me. I remember feeling this way the first time when I was about 8 years old.

Strange as it may sound my dream was always to become myself. To set things right. One aspect of my unhappiness stemmed from my body. I was chubby. And as I grew older my body developed too fast. A lot faster than everybody else. When I was 12 I ran 5 kilometers or more every other day for almost half a year. I grew thin. I liked myself better. A little better. Then winter came and I stopped running. That wasn't the first time I tried to do something about my body. The years that followed I tried and failed many times. The worst part is seeing what you worked so hard for disappear like it never happened.

I turned 17 and after a few months I was back to school. 2nd year of high school. At the first day I felt drained. Like I'd never felt before. I'd always loved going back after summer vacation. The depression made itself clearer. When Christmas came I decided I was going to try again and that this time I was going to make it all the way. I still remember the date, it was December 3, 2007. I started exercising again.
I began by riding a stationary training bike 10 km three times a week. And I did some boxing. I ate less. A lot less. And lost weight. I was rational when thinking about my training and eating habits. But it just didn't happened fast enough for me. I wanted to be me inside and out, NOW!

By April I rode that same training bike 40 km almost every day. Sometimes I even went running for 30 minutes after that. I drove myself to exhaustion. Ran until I threw up. I got really pale. I'm not kidding when I say I was like a sheet of white paper. When summer was over I was thin. Just a little bit more to go. A little bit. I started my third year of high school. And something odd happened. No one in my class recognized me. It was like in one of those movies when someone gets a makeover and suddenly nobody can see who that person is, or used to be. Whatever.

Then the end of September came. I broke down. My body was starved. Sending signals for me to either eat or die. One of those survival instincts I've been told. I stopped exercising. I ate and ate and ate. And I gained weight. And I started to throw up. At first just because I felt sick from eating to much. Then it became a habit, and then an addiction. My gag reflex is bad so I made myself throw up bu pushing an object hard against my stomach. It was constantly bruised and sore. My liver values were bad. I became apathetic. I didn't go to school some days. And when I did I cut class a lot. I told my parents I'd handle myself. Not to worry. This was my problem, I was going to fix what I'd done to myself. I couldn't get myself out of it. I got more and more isolated. It was January when my mom came into my room and said she couldn't stand seeing me like that any longer. I couldn't talk. Like my jaws had been nailed together. That day I got shuffled to the local health center, a doctor was going to evaluate me. All I can remember is having a talk with an AT - resident about death note. He was a dragonballz fan. How strange.

We got referred to the psychiatry ward in the city hospital. We waited for hours. 10 o'clock at night we finally got to meet with the other doctor. He established I wasn't what he called a "classical case". He strongly suggested I'd be admitted as a patient at the psych ward.
And so I was. We drove home and got some clothes and as my dad was driving me to the psych ward it started to snow. The first snow.
And ironically the last song I heard on the radio was. "It takes a fool to remain sane".

As I got there they searched through my things. Took my cellphone charger (as if I was going to hang myself with that). I got to hold on to my ipod though, if I promised to "behave". And that was that. I was locked in a mental institution. Great. The next day I had a meeting with another doctor. He asked a lot of questions. The usual questions. The only answer I remember clearly. Because it was so fundamentally true, was when I said. "I don't exist".

He said he wanted me to stay admitted. But I refused. He didn't have enough to force me to stay. But I had to see a psychiatrist twice a week. And I started taking medication. I've recovered a lot. I haven't made myself throw up in more than a year. My eating habit is stable and relaxed. I'm still trying to lose weight and several other stuff. My dream hasn't changed. But I'm doing things in a healthy way now. And I'm taking it painfully slow. But that's what I'm willing to do if it means making my dream come true. Because my dream is possible. I'm not asking for the ability to fly. Although that would be awesome.

What I haven't told you yet is why it is important for me to lose weight. I'm bi - gender. I'm more attuned to my male side. Having a chubby, voluptuous body with a D - cup doesn't make me feel like myself. But I want to be able to say that I'm myself without having to go under the knife. The only surgery I will ever go through is a breast reduction. I wont give up.


Anyway now, I'm studying japanese and I'm wildly interested in korean. I love languages. And it's what I want to keep studying and hopefully work with in the future. Anyone can have more than one dream. But as Albus Dombledore said. "It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live"

PS: forgive me for my boring story.
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Happiness is what you make of it. I always feel happier giving then receiving. If you limit your happiness by allowing yourself to be influenced by external thoughts and whatnot, that's your decision.
Posted 4/28/10
I've felt that way before; being stuck in a repeating monotonous cycle & feeling trapped within it. Taking the initiative to change & do something different is something I plan to do very soon, because being stuck in a rut isn't good for mankind really I think. You have to try & participate in different things & etc. once in your life. It'll be exhilarating for the body & mind. Most people though are content with the sequence of birth, school, college, work & recreational stuff in between. Happiness comes from within & is all determined by you.
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Posted 4/28/10 , edited 4/28/10
Happiness is a state of mind. You have to experiment and see what works for you.

But facts are facts. A person needs at least shelter and sustenance to 'live'. If that person has a family, even more so. It doesn't matter if a her/she lives in a 1st or 3rd world country - he/she has to work for his/her food and shelter.

Not everyone needs to go to college. Not everyone has to get a desk-job. No one is forcing you. It all depends on your goals, ambitions, wants. Like my first sentence states, you have to experiment and see what works for you.

For example. If one is interested in designing bridges, because he thinks they are oh so amazing, then one HAS to go to college. Do you want someone uneducated person designing bridges? no.

If one is interested in metal-work, and loves welding and such - one doesn't need a 'standard' college education. Either an apprenticeship or associates degree might do.

Regarding pre-college education. I think it's more then worth-while to go through. How do you know if you are interested in math or science, or books, or history or anything, if you don't try it out? school allows you ample opportunity to explore.

Yes it's hard to escape modern norms. Just because someone jumps off a bridge (or gets a a ridiculous mortgage to buy a house) doesn't mean you have to. You are in charge of your own destiny.

edit: yay to the two posters above me. awesome awesome
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Posted 4/28/10
Life is about the small things. the ones that make you happy even with so much crap in your life.
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Happiness is where any definition isn't.
Posted 4/28/10
I totally agree with you.

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