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what do you think about dating sites
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38 / M / Peoples Republik...
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Posted 9/4/10
Wow, so much negativity on dating sites! Dating sites are fine but it depends on which one or for what you are looking.

Use a PAID SITE (honestly, the more expensive the better to filter out the less serious -- some are more serious others more hookup-oriented) and be aware that a lot of the women on there are serious about finding a marriage prospect and not fooling around. The women can be incredibly picky, and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't both "winking" or messaging them unless you meet all their criteria. Don't use craigslist or something like that unless you want to catch a disease with a pre-op transsexual and wake up naked and missing some organs in a dumpster.

As for coffee shops, bars, clubs -- what a huge waste of time. Do you really want to meet some girl who hangs out in bars getting drunk, desperate for a Friday night hookup because she feels lonely? Or goes to clubs dressing like some ho and bending over to have men grind her? Or who sits all day chugging 800-calorie lattes on an expensive macbook to look oh-so-cute for random hipster guys? Do you think a decent girl looking for a life partner wants a guy who wastes time like that? Most serious people probably want someone too busy for any of that nonsense.

This is the best option:
if you are just looking for social friends, the best thing to do is neither dating sites nor social "third places" but rather mixed activities. Join a running club or kayaking class or singles hiking trip or something active and interesting like that. Or a dancing class, many of which are chronically short on guys. Yeah, you may not meet a girl to date, but you might have fun, learn something interesting, develop a hobby, get in better shape, and make some friends. Dating happens when it happens, don't be desperate.
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26 / M / United States
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Posted 9/4/10
hmm, it is what it is my nigga
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29 / F / North, Texas
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Posted 9/4/10 , edited 9/4/10
They're fine. Good for wage laborers, people who have little time for speed dating, and various other means.

People who say they're for desperate people don't know what they're talking about.
As you age it gets harder to meet folks. You have more responsibilities and life changes. I'm guessing the people who haven't used them or have negative comments are people who are surrounded by peers for most of their day.

It was always easy dating and making friends in high school. However, once you're finishing college, etc your network begins to solidify most of the time. Either you'll end up dating classmates, or acquaintances or even co-workers ( because that's what your normal day will now consist of ). I don't know of anyone my age who goes to a bar or club honestly looking for a stable relationship, and if they have they've found it wasn't for them.

It's becoming more socially acceptable to connect online. Another reason why it may be harder to date offline is because too many are connected to their online lives already anyway.
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34 / M
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Posted 9/4/10

Doji_Star wrote:

Wow, so much negativity on dating sites! Dating sites are fine but it depends on which one or for what you are looking.

1) Use a PAID SITE (honestly, the more expensive the better to filter out the less serious -- some are more serious others more hookup-oriented) and be aware that a lot of the women on there are serious about finding a marriage prospect and not fooling around. The women can be incredibly picky, and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't both "winking" or messaging them unless you meet all their criteria. Don't use craigslist or something like that unless you want to catch a disease with a pre-op transsexual and wake up naked and missing some organs in a dumpster.

2) As for coffee shops, bars, clubs -- what a huge waste of time. Do you really want to meet some girl who hangs out in bars getting drunk, desperate for a Friday night hookup because she feels lonely? Or goes to clubs dressing like some ho and bending over to have men grind her? Or who sits all day chugging 800-calorie lattes on an expensive macbook to look oh-so-cute for random hipster guys? Do you think a decent girl looking for a life partner wants a guy who wastes time like that? Most serious people probably want someone too busy for any of that nonsense.

3) This is the best option:
if you are just looking for social friends, the best thing to do is neither dating sites nor social "third places" but rather mixed activities. Join a running club or kayaking class or singles hiking trip or something active and interesting like that. Or a dancing class, many of which are chronically short on guys. Yeah, you may not meet a girl to date, but you might have fun, learn something interesting, develop a hobby, get in better shape, and make some friends. Dating happens when it happens, don't be desperate.



1) Well I don't trust any of these sites. Paid or not.

2) Amen.

3) Or you can check out meetup.com and find groups in your area based on interests that you are into. I used it to find an anime club that is here in maryland. You meet the love of your life by accident most of the time. When you least expect it. That's the best way (I should listen to my own advice)

Posted 9/4/10
Dooooooooooooodgy, that's all I'm gonna say
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38 / M / Peoples Republik...
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Posted 9/4/10

femmenoir wrote:

They're fine. Good for wage laborers, people who have little time for speed dating, and various other means.

People who say they're for desperate people don't know what they're talking about.
As you age it gets harder to meet folks. You have more responsibilities and life changes. I'm guessing the people who haven't used them or have negative comments are people who are surrounded by peers for most of their day.

It was always easy dating and making friends in high school. However, once you're finishing college, etc your network begins to solidify most of the time. Either you'll end up dating classmates, or acquaintances or even co-workers ( because that's what your normal day will now consist of ). I don't know of anyone my age who goes to a bar or club honestly looking for a stable relationship, and if they have they've found it wasn't for them.

It's becoming more socially acceptable to connect online. Another reason why it may be harder to date offline is because too many are connected to their online lives already anyway.


Yeah, for adults with full time jobs and responsibilities, serious dating sites can be ok. I know of marriages that resulted from them (admittedly, between older people who were busy professionals who didn't have many other chances to meet people).

But not craigslist. For the love of all that is good. The personal sections there are only for laughs (surely that stuff can't be real? or am I just really innocent?). Or, I suppose, if you really want to meet a prostitute too cheap, illiterate, and technically inept to put up a "massage parlor" website.
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