Post Reply Cameraman Joe
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Posted 6/13/10

Cameraman Joe


(Setting: A news correspondent is at the local zoo doing a report on how this new zoo has recently opened just a few days ago. The cameraman named Joe is recording everything that's happening as the news correspondent Bob is on location right in front of the elephant area zone. The audience is able to see what is going on through Joe's camera.)

Bob: Good afternoon everyone! I'm here right now in front of the elephant area.... zone? Whatever, anyways as you can see right behind me (looks back and sees that the elephants have moved somewhere else) .... Okay, well now as you look over to my left. The elephants are taking a bath at the moment. (quickly points with his left hand to signal Joe to zoom in)

Joe: Oh crap! Sorry Bob, I'll zoom in on the elephants right now!

Bob: (trying not to scream right now but whispers angerliy instead) SHUT UP JOE! JESUS CAN'T YOU DO YOUR JOB RIGHT!? .... GOD!!!

(after recording the elephants for a few more seconds, who are just wandering around, Bob begins to speak again)

Bob: So as you can see... uh Joe.

Joe: Yes Bob? What's the matter?? (still recording the elephants)

Bob: Camera, Joe. It's the camera.

Joe: Yeah I got the elephants Bob! Want me to zoom in closer? Oh look at that! They're taking a SHIT!! Ew that's gross, but let's record this still! (continues recording and zooms the camera to the max)

(Bob who is offscreen does a facepalm and quickly pulls Joe's arm shifting the camera to look up at Bob's angry face point blank because of the max zoom)

Bob: JOE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!? WE'RE STILL DOING A NEWS STORY RIGHT NOW!

Joe: (saying pitifully) Sorry Bob.

Bob: (sigh) Anways let's just get back on with the story.

(Bob and Joe get serious and back into character and are doing the final closing minutes of their report until another incident happens again)

Bob: And with that concludes our report on the opening of this new zoo. Reporting for Channel 3 Eyewitness News, I'm Bob Simon signing off.

Kid 1: Pffft.... AHAHA! Your name SUCKS DUDE! That's so weird having two first names! Oh my god that's so funny right, right! (elbowing his friend in his side)

Kid 2: Hahahaha yeah it is! (trying to imitate Bob's voice but does a poor version) Hey, look at me. I'm Bob Simon durrrrr. He's like a retard or something!

(Joe who was recording Bob still, was able to get the two kids in the view of his camera. While the kids were laughing so hard, Joe saw how angry Bob looked and feared the worst)

Joe: Uh Bob, what are you doing?

(Bob drops his microphone and angerily removes his tie and begins to roll up his sleeves as the kids continue laughing non-stop)

Bob: OH! SO YOU KIDS LIKE MAKING FUN OF MY NAME HUH? WELL YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING ONCE I'M DONE BEATING THE SHIT OUTTA YOU TWO!!

(Bob begins to dash straight at the kids getting ready to punch someone with his right fist while Joe is still recording everything)

Joe: Oh shit this isn't good. BOB! BOB!! Oh crap! Don't punch that kid in the face! Hey wai- (camera goes to static as Joe stops recording and no one knows what happened afterwards. Everyone who were watching the news at the time were left with a speechless look on their face)
Posted 6/18/10
BWAHHAHAH ~
"Yeah I got the elephants Bob! Want me to zoom in closer? Oh look at that! They're taking a SHIT!!"

BOB & JOEE XD


O_O... it as all on the news.
EPIC. x3
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Posted 6/18/10
Yeah this one was really fun to write XD i like the chara Joe, really hilarious stuff XD Whenever I read the line that you quoted I always laugh my butt off!
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Posted 6/18/10
I'm a news guy!

i didn't know my last name was Simon!

Thanks for this deep perspective on my inner life

gah what am i talking about? *rambling idiotically*

Hahaha nice story, man!
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Posted 6/21/10
It's amazing huh, now we REALLY know who you are Bob!

lol glad you liked the story ^^
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