Post Reply Three Hundred Seconds
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Posted 6/17/10
I was going to enter this into the short story contest, but no else has entered so I decided to just post it. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Three Hundred Seconds

6:55 p.m. - "Get the hell out of here Robin! I never want to see your fucking face again!" my mother screamed at me. I stormed out of our apartment, slamming the door behind me. This wasn't the first time she had done this, kicked me out. I always went back though, by the time I came home she was so wasted she didn't remember. She would pass out on the couch, beer in hand and cigarette butts littering the floor around her. I hated her.

6:55 p.m. and 45 seconds - I stood on the roof of our apartment building the city lights all around me were bright. They probably would've seemed beautiful to someone else, but to me nothing was beautiful anymore not since it had happened.

Before it had happened I used to be happy, my mom too. She used to laugh all the time. She loved to sing too and she had the most beautiful voice. I hadn't heard her laugh in a long time and sing...not after it had happened. She had shut herself away from the world, drinking to forget the pain. Not that you could ever forget, I knew about it, always ready to take over at any sign of weakness. I was sick and tired of it, I just wanted it to end!

6:56 p.m. - Slowly I made myself move towards the edge of the building, I looked down at the street below. Cars zoomed by and people strolled happily down the street. Once in a while a voice drifted up to me, to me they seemed like a lost souls.

6:56 p.m. and 15 seconds - My hands gripped the ledge, my knuckles turning white. Wind blew my hair into my face, I angrily pushed it back. The gesture brought me back to another time and place. I was five years old, I lay in my bed. The pink covers were soft and warm and were pulled up right under my chin. My mother and father sat next to me. My mom was singing a soft lullaby, but I was so tired I couldn't make out the words. “Daddy…will I ever be able to fly?” I asked. “Not now but one day you will.” He answered. As I closed my eyes, my father brushed my hair behind my ear, “Good night my little robin.”

6:56 p.m. and 30 seconds - No, I told myself, stop it. If I thought of him any longer the pain would come back. Slowly I hoisted myself onto the ledge of the building, I stood up and I gripped the TV antenna next to me to steady myself. I glanced down, and realized at once it was a mistake. The height made my head spin but I didn't move. A cold wind whipped at me from behind, urging me on.

6:57 p.m. - I stared down at the people walking below. All of them seemed so happy, so oblivious. I saw couples with arms wrapped around each other and then I saw a family, there was a little girl with pigtails walking in between her parents. I saw her father reach down to pick her up and spin her around, both laughed gleefully. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, and I could tell the memory of it was coming, I tried to stop it.

It was too late the memory came rushing back. I was twelve again, we had gone out for supper and we were driving home. My mom and I were in the car, my dad in the truck behind us. We had two vehicles because my dad had met us at the restaurant after work. I remember that I kept turning around and making faces at him to make him laugh. As we were crossing a train track and the car got stuck, over and over again my mom slammed on the gas, but the car wouldn't budge. Then we saw it come around the corner...the train. "Robin, we have to get out of the car!" my mom exclaimed, as I reached for my seat belt, the car jolted forward, off of the train tracks. I looked back, my dad had hit us from behind to move us forward, but now he was stuck. I made eye contact with him, he mouthed the words, "I love you, my little robin," and then the train hit him.

6:57 p.m. and 45 seconds - Tears streamed down my face, the pain hit me with all its force, and I had blocked it out for so long that it was agony. This was the reason my mom drank she couldn't take the pain. After the accident we lived in a daze, we hardly talked or interacted. Eventually I stopped talking completely; I didn’t utter a word for months, not even at school. Students and teachers would whisper and stare when I walked by, “Poor little thing,” they would say. My friends didn’t know how to act around me, they didn’t want to be with me. They made up reasons to not to hang out, eventually they avoided me altogether. Everything went downhill from there, my grades dropped drastically, teachers hated me because I wouldn’t talk, no one would be my friend and worst of all, my mom started to drink.

At first it had scared me when she was drunk. She would spew a bunch of nonsensical words. She’d walk and trip over her own feet and let fly torrents of curses. Eventually I got used to it, it became a part of my life, just like not talking or being alone.

6:58 p.m. – It was cold up here on the roof, wind howled around me, making the antenna sway and me along with it. I held on more tightly. This roof was my special place, the only place I could escape. I would sit out here for hours at a time, until I was completely numb and my nose ran. I never did anything special, I just sat and stared around me. I made up stories in my head, I lived the lives of hundreds of people, princesses and knights, doctors and lawyers. Even normal high school girls.

Living the lives of these characters was easier, and less painful than living my own. This way I could forget about my pain and my mother downstairs, I could have a family and be happy again. But I always had to go back, I couldn’t escape for long.

6:58 p.m. and 30 seconds – No matter what, I had to make myself get up and walk down the stairs, open the door. Inside it smelled so strongly of cigarette smoke and beer it made me gag. My mother would direct rude comments at me if she hadn’t already passed out, and then I locked myself in my room. I hadn’t had a normal conversation with my mom in years.

I was always hearing kids at school whining about their over protective, dotting parents. They complained about their too small allowances and curfews, or their need of new I-pods and bigger TVs. I would give anything to have those kinds of problems. People don’t realize what they have until they lose it.

6:58 p.m. and 45 seconds – Now sobs wracked my body. I missed them so much, in that accident I had really lost both of my parents. After the loss of my dad my mom drank to forget the pain, but in the process she had also forgotten me. She had left me alone, I had to fend for myself. I had had to push through the pain to keep on going. But I hadn’t really pushed through the pain, I had moved it to the side, tried to forget about it. With time that pain had turned to anger.

All these years though I had kept this anger bottled up inside of me. I was mad at my “friends” who had left me when I needed them the most, at my classmates and teachers that had felt sorry for me but did nothing to help. I was mad at my mom who had abandoned me because she couldn’t take the pain. Most of all I was angry at myself who had let the pain feed off of me all these years, me who had shut away the world, not talking to anyone, wallowing in my own sadness. Without even realizing it, I had let this anger take over my life.

6:59 p.m. and 30 seconds – Suddenly, something my grandma used to say to me came to my mind “Forgiveness and letting go are steps on our road back to happiness.” I realized that she was right and the only way I could be happy was if I apologized to and forgave everyone.

I am sorry to my friends that I now realize I had pushed away. You hadn’t left me because you were scared or spiteful, it was because I had shut you out. You had wanted to help me and I had not recognized what you had been trying to do. You weren’t avoiding me, I had been avoiding you.

I now understand that the reason that no one helped me because I hadn’t asked for help. I acted angry and aloof, no one wants to help a person like that. It wasn’t your fault it was mine.

I forgive you mom. You didn’t want to leave me, you just loved dad so much you couldn’t take it. You didn’t realize that you were slowly fading from this world. I know you didn’t mean any of those hurtful things you said to me.


6:59 p.m. and 45 seconds – And me…well in understanding everyone else, I let go of all my anger and hatred. I now felt so light and…happy. The feeling was strange, but wonderful. I had forgotten what it was like to be truly happy.

Yet I knew it couldn’t last, the moment I went back downstairs it would disappear. When I went back to our dirty little apartment the happiness would fade away and I wasn’t sure if I would have the strength to get it back. Years of pain and sadness had left me weak.

6:59 p.m. and 50 seconds – With that thought in mind I made a decision. Most would regard it as cowardly, maybe it was, but I was finally happy again. I couldn’t go back to the suffocating sorrow. It was time for me to let go and move on.

Good bye to my former friends who I know did love me and cared.

Goodbye to those who tried to help me.

Bye mom…mommy, I love you so much. I hope you understand what I am about to do and I hope it won’t destroy you completely.


6:59 p.m. and 55 seconds – I spread my arms out beside me. Smiling through my tears I stepped off the edge and fell through the cold night air. I waited for the impact, but it never came. And just as my dad said I one day would, I flew. Finally I was free.

7:00 p.m. - A small girl skipped down the street, ponytails bouncing with every step. She stopped suddenly beside a tall apartment building and looked up. She smiled and pointed towards the sky, "Mommy, daddy, look at the pretty birdie!" she exclaimed. Her father smiled, "Honey, that's a robin."
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Posted 6/17/10
O_O

That was incredibly detailed. It's not that's there wasn't a descriptive introduction but it was in the nature in the character to think this way. Wow, I like it. It's better than most suicidal stories I've read.
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Posted 6/17/10
Heehee thanks.
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Posted 6/18/10 , edited 6/18/10
Woah. This is captivating right of the bat. :)

(Although going from the apartment to the building roof in just 45 seconds sort of strains my willing suspension of disbelief.)

You really get a sense of what's going through her head. Emotions can be a difficult thing to write, but you've nailed it.

Oh god the memory of the train crash - especially the part before it - is so sad. D:
And the scene where it happens: TRAUMATIZING. (Poor kid...)

HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS~ *brick'd*


in that accident I had really lost both of my parents.

I <3 this.

I think it would be cool if you drew a parallel between the fact that both her and her mom pushed each other away.


I waited for the impact, but it never came.

because most people who jump off buildings die of cardiac arrest before they hit the ground. I think this is a nice, vague way of hinting towards that. (dying flying, you know.)



"Mommy, daddy, look at the pretty birdie!" she exclaimed. Her father smiled, "Honey, that's a robin."

WTF. ;O:
(brb gonna go cry now.)


WRITE MOAR STORIES OKAI?
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Posted 6/18/10 , edited 6/18/10
A different post for the nitpicky corrections because it's too long for the first post?

whatever.

anyways crunchy needs to use normal HTML tags. if you see a [/color] somewhere ignore it.

but the car wouldn't budge.


"Robin, we have to get out of the car!" my mom shouted / screamed. As I reached for my seat belt, the car suddenly jolted forward, off of the train-tracks.



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Posted 6/18/10
so awesome! I love the ending and how the forshadowing (ish lol) u kinda did with the little girl!
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Posted 6/20/10
Thanks for commenting elfyre, thanks for helping to correct the grammar and what not
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Posted 6/27/10
I like this story though it's a morbid one cause of the tragic ending but it tackles about life & death which is a part of reality. The descriptive words used to illuminate the main character's emotions especially her pain was so vivid as if you're the one who's experiencing "the 300 seconds". The last part about the lil' girl seeing the robin flying was poignant & a nice touch to finish the story.

Looking forward for more stories from you (I seldom like tragic stories but this one I do). Maybe another of the kinda same theme or a different one.
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Posted 6/27/10
I will definetly write more
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Posted 11/23/10
This is one of the best short stories that I've read in my life. o.o Each section of time had its own connection with the whole story, making the reader feel different emotions. I love the flow of the events~ ;D The last two times and the time about the train made me want to cry so bad. TT^TT I was so shocked at the end even though I kind of knew that was going to happen. After I read the last time, I had a totally different view of the story. I think the name you chose fit very well. Your beginning connected to the end. <3 it!!! >O< I think I've become a fan of your works now. XD
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Posted 5/3/11
Wow thanks I haven't been on in a while, but I have another short story that i wrote that I think I'll oast
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