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The Guys' Rules
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29 / M / Aboard the Hyperion
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Posted 6/18/10 , edited 6/19/10
Got this off from The Kangkungan Extension. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. The following are the guys’ side of the story. I thought it to be quite interesting. We often hear about “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your boyfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as ***, CARS, the shotgun formation, or NASCAR .

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

What do you think?
Posted 6/19/10
Well, the Christopher Columbus one was false because he had a navigator with him (forgot his name) so yeah...
As for everything, I don't care do what you please. For some of the things listed it's a good thing not every guy thinks like that.
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29 / M / Aboard the Hyperion
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Posted 6/19/10
A few of the things are a little absurd or obvious and are probably not needed to be mentioned. Some are just a funny treat for the mind.
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18 / F / Liverpool
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Posted 6/19/10
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

That amused me so much
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F / Over the the hill...
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Posted 6/19/10
i agree with beautiulbetrayal
TY for posting
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22 / F
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Posted 6/19/10
"ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is."

Haha, that's definitely me.
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36 / F
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Posted 6/19/10
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
disagree when shopping for the right thing, men can be very competetive:
electronics - who has the biggest TV, loudest stereo, newest gadget
hardware - who had the biggest, most powerful, most useful, etc. tool
automotive shopping - test driving fast cars
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18 / F / Philippines
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Posted 6/19/10
Is that so
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M / Wonderland chilli...
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Posted 6/19/10
That gave me laugh all i can say is AMEN BROTHER
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22 / F / shitty england
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Posted 6/19/10
Lol I love this one - "Crying is blackmail."
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M
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Posted 6/19/10

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


The best part!

I would also add:

1. If you don't look like Kristen Stewart, don't expect me to look like Robert Pattinson.
Rob88 
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28 / M / United Kingdom
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Posted 6/19/10

sindba-d wrote:


1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


The best part!

I would also add:

1. If you don't look like Kristen Stewart, don't expect me to look like Robert Pattinson.


That reminds me of one of my friends who dumped his girlfriend after she asked him if he would put ice on his lips for about 10 minutes then kiss her to see what it was like to kiss Edward.


I have to agree with the Colour one. I was given a t-shirt and the girl who gave me it said it's salmon. I told her it looks pink to me. Some time later she got me a green one then told me the colour was avacado. Rather than say it was just green I said. Okay thank you
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M
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Posted 6/19/10

Rob88 wrote:

That reminds me of one of my friends who dumped his girlfriend after she asked him if he would put ice on his lips for about 10 minutes then kiss her to see what it was like to kiss Edward.
...


Awesome!!!!! That made me start to cry from laughing!
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Posted 6/19/10
prolly generalizing men, but they dont like emo stuffs...right?..i have this teacher who told me that he can help me with my problems, but i shouldn't ever cry in front of him...> im confused
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24 / F / in yur dark heart
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Posted 6/19/10
yay....for round
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