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The Guys' Rules
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24 / M
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Posted 6/20/10
So true brethren!
You must keep the pimp hand strong!
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21 / F / I'm lost
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Posted 6/20/10
all fine by me, even though these rules go without saying to me, but it's good u posted this so i can find it again and show some stupid girl who doesn't get boys.

but one thing i disagree with, i'll always ask whats on ur mind cuz that is what i do and it doesnt change
plus, cars and guns are what my brother and dad ever talk about, so im used to it
if a guy was thinking about his clothes i would take him to a psychiatrist..........
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23 / F / controling your soul
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Posted 6/21/10
LOL i remember reading this at prankspace.com

and again at funnyjunk.com


im gonna print it out
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26 / M / Europe
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Posted 6/21/10
And thats all. just one rule; the number 1

Lmao at the toilet seat, guys we got a counter for a war we thought lost now
Posted 6/21/10 , edited 6/21/10

CrashAriMP5N2O wrote:

Got this off from The Kangkungan Extension. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. The following are the guys’ side of the story. I thought it to be quite interesting. We often hear about “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. We know. You DON'T read anything at all

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Guys, you piss anywhere. Here's a damn bucket. Voila. No toilet seat

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. You watch Sunday sports while I waste your money on Sunday shopping

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Unless it's shopping for a vibrator

1. Crying is blackmail. Well that's your problem for falling for it

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Fine. I want sex. I want a threesome. Without you involved

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Steak or ribs? Can you say yes or no to that? Nope

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your boyfriends are for. Sex is always your way of solving things

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. The doctor will say that you are the cause of my headaches

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. I cheated on you everyday last month. Oops, it's been a week. Can't use that in an argument

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys. If I dress up like a Victoria Secret girl, you better have a body like Brad Pitt's. And a dick like ShamWow!

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. If I say your dick is small, then it is. Don't question

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one Then explain it stupid

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Make your own damn sandwich. You know how to make it. So do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Whenever possible, please stop trying to have sex with me when I'm trying to sleep

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. This is why the Columbus idiot landed in America and not India

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. I think you know less than 16 colors. You only know the colors of your Skittles

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. Then you better wash your hands before we break your hands so that you can't scratch

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. We say nothing because even if we tell you, you won't know what to do. And that's just pointless

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. If you ask us to make a sandwhich, expect me to say an answer you don't want to hear

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really . So you don't care if I don a bra and a thong outdoors where many men will drool over me?

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as ***, CARS, the shotgun formation, or NASCAR . Ah. The intelligence of men. Sex, cars, guns, and more cars

1. You have enough clothes. You have enough sports games

1. You have too many shoes. They comfort us unlike you

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Congratulations. You know your shapes

1. Thank you for reading this. Incredible you were able to actually think of all this

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping. Camping? Then sleep outside in dog shit :]v

What do you think? Not bad at all


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20 / F / Earth Currently
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Posted 6/21/10


wow i loved that it was halarious!!
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24 / M / O.C. So.Cal
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Posted 6/21/10
ha i read this pretty funny and lots r true
Posted 6/21/10

DanzoHater2 wrote:



wow i loved that it was halarious!!


Why thankies ;Dv Though guys might kill me now. Ooooh welllllll
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24 / M / O.C. So.Cal
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Posted 6/21/10 , edited 6/21/10

EverlastingDivinity wrote:


CrashAriMP5N2O wrote:

Got this off from The Kangkungan Extension. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. The following are the guys’ side of the story. I thought it to be quite interesting. We often hear about “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. We know. You DON'T read anything at all

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Guys, you piss anywhere. Here's a damn bucket. Voila. No toilet seat

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. You watch Sunday sports while I waste your money on Sunday shopping

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Unless it's shopping for a vibrator

1. Crying is blackmail. Well that's your problem for falling for it

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Fine. I want sex. I want a threesome. Without you involved

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Steak or ribs? Can you say yes or no to that? Nope

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your boyfriends are for. Sex is always your way of solving things

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. The doctor will say that you are the cause of my headaches

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. I cheated on you everyday last month. Oops, it's been a week. Can't use that in an argument

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys. If I dress up like a Victoria Secret girl, you better have a body like Brad Pitt's. And a dick like ShamWow!

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. If I say your dick is small, then it is. Don't question

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one Then explain it stupid

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Make your own damn sandwich. You know how to make it. So do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Whenever possible, please stop trying to have sex with me when I'm trying to sleep

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. This is why the Columbus idiot landed in America and not India

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. I think you know less than 16 colors. You know know the colors of your Skittles

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. Then you better wash your hands before we break your hands so that you can't scratch

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. We say nothing because even if we tell you, you won't know what to do. And that's just pointless

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. If you ask us to make a sandwhich, expect me to say an answer you don't want to hear

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really . So you don't care if I don a bra and a thong outdoors where many men will drool over me?

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as ***, CARS, the shotgun formation, or NASCAR .

1. You have enough clothes. You have enough sports games

1. You have too many shoes. They comfort us unlike you

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Congratulations. You know your shapes

1. Thank you for reading this. Incredible you were able to actually think of all this

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping. Camping? Then sleep outside in dog shit :]v

What do you think? Not bad at all




touche haha
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20 / F / Earth Currently
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Posted 6/21/10

EverlastingDivinity wrote:


DanzoHater2 wrote:



wow i loved that it was halarious!!


Why thankies ;Dv Though guys might kill me now. Ooooh welllllll


nah it was awesome lol
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26 / M / South Houston
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Posted 6/21/10


Someone looks butthurt
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31
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Posted 6/21/10 , edited 6/21/10

EverlastingDivinity wrote:


CrashAriMP5N2O wrote:

Got this off from The Kangkungan Extension. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. The following are the guys’ side of the story. I thought it to be quite interesting. We often hear about “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. We know. You DON'T read anything at all Thanks for noticing, now stop expecting us to.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Guys, you piss anywhere. Here's a damn bucket. Voila. No toilet seat Maybe women should learn to put the lid down, but as a guy it would be fun using the sink and seeing how much of an arc I could get.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. You watch Sunday sports while I waste your money on Sunday shopping Hope you dont mind the mess when you get home, because we don't.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Unless it's shopping for a vibrator Whatever makes you happy, just use your own money.

1. Crying is blackmail. Well that's your problem for falling for it The conquences for not "falling for it" are worse than "falling for it". Thats why it's blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Fine. I want sex. I want a threesome. Without you involved Make sure you tape that, also this means sleeping with others is not cheating right?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Steak or ribs? Can you say yes or no to that? Nope Yes, yes is the answer to that question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your boyfriends are for. Sex is always your way of solving things Mostly.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. The doctor will say that you are the cause of my headaches Get some happy pills then.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. I cheated on you everyday last month. Oops, it's been a week. Can't use that in an argument You're the one that said you could fogive me. Its in the past now.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys. If I dress up like a Victoria Secret girl, you better have a body like Brad Pitt's. And a dick like ShamWow! We don't expect you to dress up in it, its expensive and never looks as good on you as the models.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. If I say your dick is small, then it is. Don't question It happens, you wouldn't know it was small if you weren't such a whore.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one Then explain it stupid There was only ever one meaning, you made up the second meaning.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Make your own damn sandwich. You know how to make it. So do it yourself If you won't, sure we will. Or just grab something easier.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Whenever possible, please stop trying to have sex with me when I'm trying to sleep Thought you were asleep, wanted to give you a surprise.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. This is why the Columbus idiot landed in America and not India If America wasn't there he would have landed in India. He was going in the right direction.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. I think you know less than 16 colors. You only know the colors of your Skittles Im not ashamed of that.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. Then you better wash your hands before we break your hands so that you can't scratch As if you could break them.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. We say nothing because even if we tell you, you won't know what to do. And that's just pointless Then don't get mad at us for it.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. If you ask us to make a sandwhich, expect me to say an answer you don't want to hear See the reply to 1.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really . So you don't care if I don a bra and a thong outdoors where many men will drool over me? Don't really care, but if you are as fat as you seem to think you are, there won't be alot of drooling going on.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as ***, CARS, the shotgun formation, or NASCAR . Ah. The intelligence of men. Sex, cars, guns, and more cars Interests and intelligence are different but I forgot I am talking to a girl. Sorry, you would not understand the answer to this one.

1. You have enough clothes. You have enough sports games We need 1 game per sport. You can have 1 peice of clothing for each part of your body.

1. You have too many shoes. They comfort us unlike you We sure as hell are not getting any "comfort", why should you?

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Congratulations. You know your shapes I know! The reminder that round was a shape was for you.

1. Thank you for reading this. Incredible you were able to actually think of all this At least our list is perment. Your rules are always changing.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping. Camping? Then sleep outside in dog shit :]v On second thought, I am sleeping on the bed, if you have a problem with it, you can sleep on the couch.

What do you think? Not bad at allThis was alot of work...




Really some of these I do not agree with but 60-80% are right on, depending on which guy. Also, it really is not fair to expect us to put down the toilet set and you never put down the lid. When I was younger living at home, my mom had yelled at me for not putting down the seat. I began putting down the seat and lid, only soon to have her yelling about me putting down the lid.
Posted 6/21/10

nickydrayer8 wrote:


EverlastingDivinity wrote:


CrashAriMP5N2O wrote:

Got this off from The Kangkungan Extension. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. The following are the guys’ side of the story. I thought it to be quite interesting. We often hear about “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. We know. You DON'T read anything at all Thanks for noticing, now stop expecting us to.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Guys, you piss anywhere. Here's a damn bucket. Voila. No toilet seat Maybe women should learn to put the lid down, but as a guy it would be fun using the sink and seeing how much of an arc I could get.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. You watch Sunday sports while I waste your money on Sunday shopping Hope you dont mind the mess when you get home, because we don't.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Unless it's shopping for a vibrator Whatever makes you happy, just use your own money.

1. Crying is blackmail. Well that's your problem for falling for it The conquences for not "falling for it" are worse than "falling for it". Thats why it's blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Fine. I want sex. I want a threesome. Without you involved Make sure you tape that, also this means sleeping with others is not cheating right?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Steak or ribs? Can you say yes or no to that? Nope Yes, yes is the answer to that question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your boyfriends are for. Sex is always your way of solving things Mostly.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. The doctor will say that you are the cause of my headaches Get some happy pills then.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. I cheated on you everyday last month. Oops, it's been a week. Can't use that in an argument You're the one that said you could fogive me. Its in the past now.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys. If I dress up like a Victoria Secret girl, you better have a body like Brad Pitt's. And a dick like ShamWow! We don't expect you to dress up in it, its expensive and never looks as good on you as the models.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. If I say your dick is small, then it is. Don't question It happens, you wouldn't know it was small if you weren't such a whore.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one Then explain it stupid There was only ever one meaning, you made up the second meaning.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Make your own damn sandwich. You know how to make it. So do it yourself If you won't, sure we will. Or just grab something easier.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Whenever possible, please stop trying to have sex with me when I'm trying to sleep Thought you were asleep, wanted to give you a surprise.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. This is why the Columbus idiot landed in America and not India If America wasn't there he would have landed in India. He was going in the right direction.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. I think you know less than 16 colors. You only know the colors of your Skittles Im not ashamed of that.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. Then you better wash your hands before we break your hands so that you can't scratch As if you could break them.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. We say nothing because even if we tell you, you won't know what to do. And that's just pointless Then don't get mad at us for it.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. If you ask us to make a sandwhich, expect me to say an answer you don't want to hear See the reply to 1.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really . So you don't care if I don a bra and a thong outdoors where many men will drool over me? Don't really care, but if you are as fat as you seem to think you are, there won't be alot of drooling going on.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as ***, CARS, the shotgun formation, or NASCAR . Ah. The intelligence of men. Sex, cars, guns, and more cars Interests and intelligence are different but I forgot I am talking to a girl. Sorry, you would not understand the answer to this one.

1. You have enough clothes. You have enough sports games We need 1 game per sport. You can have 1 peice of clothing for each part of your body.

1. You have too many shoes. They comfort us unlike you We sure as hell are not getting any "comfort", why should you?

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Congratulations. You know your shapes I know! The reminder that round was a shape was for you.

1. Thank you for reading this. Incredible you were able to actually think of all this At least our list is perment. Your rules are always changing.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping. Camping? Then sleep outside in dog shit :]v On second thought, I am sleeping on the bed, if you have a problem with it, you can sleep on the couch.

What do you think? Not bad at allThis was alot of work...




Really some of these I do not agree with but 60-80% are right on, depending on which guy. Also, it really is not fair to expect us to put down the toilet set and you never put down the lid. When I was younger living at home, my mom had yelled at me for not putting down the seat. I began putting down the seat and lid, only soon to have her yelling about me putting down the lid.


Try to make it more sense and amusing like the first two. This sound like you guy in an agrument battle instead of making rules.

Back to topic: lol, I love the "Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down." I don't know anything about this until now.
Posted 6/22/10

sindba-d wrote:


Rob88 wrote:

That reminds me of one of my friends who dumped his girlfriend after she asked him if he would put ice on his lips for about 10 minutes then kiss her to see what it was like to kiss Edward.
...


Awesome!!!!! That made me start to cry from laughing!


ROFL!!!! O.M.G that is just comedy genius! ahahahahahaha! What a stupid cow.
Posted 6/22/10
I agree with almost everything.
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