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Endogamy
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24 / M / Mammago Garage, Y...
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Posted 6/27/10
There is probably a thread like this, but I didn't bother searching beyond the first 3 pages, so delete/ignore it if necessary.

For those who don't know: "Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific ethnic group, class, or social group, rejecting others on such bases as being unsuitable for marriage or other close personal relationships. A Danish endogamist, for example, would require that a marriage be only with another Dane." (from Wikipedia).

This topic is becoming an increasingly more annoying issue for me as I am getting older and my family is imposing their afrocentric ideals on me more persistently. I've been getting pressured to start dating (yes I know I'm late, but I have good reasons why), but my family stresses the importance of dating only black females, or at least only marrying and having kids with a black female (I'm black if you haven't figured it out). I always ask them why, and they claim that it is to preserve the "purity" of our race in order to fight against the threat of losing our heritage to "the white man," since many of my relatives date and marry white people. I always point out that their ideal of racial purity is no different than that of the KKK and other white supremacy groups, which makes them racist, but of course they object and go on about slavery and oppression and stuff.

It bothers me to know that this idea of ethnocentrism is so prevalent in my family, and I was wondering if people here also believe that it is important for people to reproduce with others of their own ethnicity in order to preserve the race/culture and promote unity. Or if you're more like me and believe that ethnic diversity is a great thing and that interracial dating/marrying/reproducing is wonderful and should be encouraged, while endogamy is actually harmful because creates further division among people.
Posted 6/27/10
My family has always told me to marry whomever I fall in love with, no matter the race. Besides, if you teach your kids their heritages while their young, they'll never really loose them.

If people were more diverse, than maybe their wouldn't be so much ignorance when it came to race.
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Posted 6/27/10

Cuddlebuns wrote:

There is probably a thread like this, but I didn't bother searching beyond the first 3 pages, so delete/ignore it if necessary.

For those who don't know: "Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific ethnic group, class, or social group, rejecting others on such bases as being unsuitable for marriage or other close personal relationships. A Danish endogamist, for example, would require that a marriage be only with another Dane." (from Wikipedia).

This topic is becoming an increasingly more annoying issue for me as I am getting older and my family is imposing their afrocentric ideals on me more persistently. I've been getting pressured to start dating (yes I know I'm late, but I have good reasons why), but my family stresses the importance of dating only black females, or at least only marrying and having kids with a black female (I'm black if you haven't figured it out). I always ask them why, and they claim that it is to preserve the "purity" of our race in order to fight against the threat of losing our heritage to "the white man," since many of my relatives date and marry white people. I always point out that their ideal of racial purity is no different than that of the KKK and other white supremacy groups, which makes them racist, but of course they object and go on about slavery and oppression and stuff.

It bothers me to know that this idea of ethnocentrism is so prevalent in my family, and I was wondering if people here also believe that it is important for people to reproduce with others of their own ethnicity in order to preserve the race/culture and promote unity. Or if you're more like me and believe that ethnic diversity is a great thing and that interracial dating/marrying/reproducing is wonderful and should be encouraged, while endogamy is actually harmful because creates further division among people.


When you say 'black' what sort of cultural/political/national origin package are you talking about? Black is about as specific as 'native', or 'european'. Europe includes Danes and Spaniards. Native includes groups as different from each other as portugal and the netherlands.

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Posted 6/27/10

Cuddlebuns wrote:


I have the same problem too but with a twist. My mother wants a blue eyed foreigner. She doesn't want a filipina. Her reason is she doesn't want to flaunt an ugly grandchild. Talk about shallow. Talk about mothers.
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Posted 6/27/10
if it means what i think it does as i understand what you typed, i think endogamy is ok because ppl have their own preferences about marriage say a straight guy isn't going to marry a guy, or maybe someone hates sports they are probably not going to marry a sports fan. Everyone has there own thing that would make them not want to marry someone.
However, I don't think it is ok for your parents to impose their ideas of endogamy on you. It might be ok if you just weren't really into people of a different race. I wouldn't consider that racist because its ur marriage as long as u weren't hating on other races just eliminating them as potential partners bcuz u didn't find them scrumdidleyumptious, as long as its what you like and not ur parents.
Alot of the times ppl make standards and end up falling in love w/ someone totally different than what they had in mind though
but i dont see anything wrong with having them. As for keeping the race pure its probably not.
Posted 6/28/10
I myself as an Asian am in a romantic relationship with my girlfriend who's a Caucasian. And my only other reason besides my personal preference for my girlfriend, is the fact that I personally find most Asian girls had been socialized into being too mentally tamed, emotionally flat, and physically weak for my taste.
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24 / M / Mammago Garage, Y...
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Posted 6/28/10

papagolfwhiskey wrote:

When you say 'black' what sort of cultural/political/national origin package are you talking about? Black is about as specific as 'native', or 'european'. Europe includes Danes and Spaniards. Native includes groups as different from each other as portugal and the netherlands.



I'm a black American, so I'm descended from the African slaves that were brought to the British colonies that eventually became the U.S. I didn't specify because I didn't think it mattered.
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Posted 6/28/10
i'm a Torontonian. The impression I get from my 'black' co-workers who are mostly 1st gen immigrants. Haiti, Jamaica, Barbados, <insert country in africa here> all matter. There is no monolithic 'black' culture where I come from just like there is no monolithic 'red' culture My ancestors were often at war with the very people who would now claim to be on my side against 'white' oppression.

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Posted 6/28/10

Cuddlebuns wrote:

There is probably a thread like this, but I didn't bother searching beyond the first 3 pages, so delete/ignore it if necessary.

For those who don't know: "Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific ethnic group, class, or social group, rejecting others on such bases as being unsuitable for marriage or other close personal relationships. A Danish endogamist, for example, would require that a marriage be only with another Dane." (from Wikipedia).

This topic is becoming an increasingly more annoying issue for me as I am getting older and my family is imposing their afrocentric ideals on me more persistently. I've been getting pressured to start dating (yes I know I'm late, but I have good reasons why), but my family stresses the importance of dating only black females, or at least only marrying and having kids with a black female (I'm black if you haven't figured it out). I always ask them why, and they claim that it is to preserve the "purity" of our race in order to fight against the threat of losing our heritage to "the white man," since many of my relatives date and marry white people. I always point out that their ideal of racial purity is no different than that of the KKK and other white supremacy groups, which makes them racist, but of course they object and go on about slavery and oppression and stuff.

It bothers me to know that this idea of ethnocentrism is so prevalent in my family, and I was wondering if people here also believe that it is important for people to reproduce with others of their own ethnicity in order to preserve the race/culture and promote unity. Or if you're more like me and believe that ethnic diversity is a great thing and that interracial dating/marrying/reproducing is wonderful and should be encouraged, while endogamy is actually harmful because creates further division among people.


Statically you will more than likely marry a black girl, endogamy happens not because someone is ignorant, but because it is more likely that you both will share similar experiences and beliefs and are more compatible with each other. Of course your parents are being ignorant, no offense, as so are mine on this same topic to a lesser extent. If I were you I would talk to the other relatives that have married white people to try and help you talk to your parents or just go out with a white girl and piss them off.
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24 / M / Mammago Garage, Y...
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Posted 6/28/10

Bluking wrote:

Statically you will more than likely marry a black girl, endogamy happens not because someone is ignorant, but because it is more likely that you both will share similar experiences and beliefs and are more compatible with each other. Of course your parents are being ignorant, no offense, as so are mine on this same topic to a lesser extent. If I were you I would talk to the other relatives that have married white people to try and help you talk to your parents or just go out with a white girl and piss them off.


I don't mean to brag, but I don't fall in line with the majority of the statistics about young black males. I haven't really had similar experiences as most other black Americans, nor do I share any of the ideals or world-views that the majority of them hold. So it is actually pretty unlikely that I'll end up with a black woman, assuming I do end up being with someone.

I don't mind that people only date within their ethnic group, I just don't think it's right when they consciously refuse to date people outside of their ethnicity just because they feel it's necessary to keep them separate and to keep their bloodline "pure."
Posted 6/28/10
It matters not where you're from or what you believe. Between two people, love transcends all.
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Posted 6/29/10

Cuddlebuns wrote:

I don't mind that people only date within their ethnic group, I just don't think it's right when they consciously refuse to date people outside of their ethnicity just because they feel it's necessary to keep them separate and to keep their bloodline "pure."


I agree with you, this is racism too.


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Posted 6/29/10
This is like what happened in India. Where you only can get married with the kasta or class you belong to. Brahma kasta can only be married to another in Brahma kasta. I think it's the same purpose, for purity. If someone in certain class married to another class, they will be expelled.

I think in modern society, we should accept people from different groups, either it's races, ethnic, nations, religions, etc. Without having prejudiced from begin with. Although, it's understandably when our grandparents imposed this to us in war time. To protect themselves from betrayal, separation and dispute.
Here's some video how I think we should get over it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBwFqudGac8
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Posted 6/29/10

Ryutai-Desk wrote:

This is like what happened in India. Where you only can get married with the kasta or class you belong to. Brahma kasta can only be married to another in Brahma kasta. I think it's the same purpose, for purity. If someone in certain class married to another class, they will be expelled.

I think in modern society, we should accept people from different groups, either it's races, ethnic, nations, religions, etc. Without having prejudiced from begin with. Although, it's understandably when our grandparents imposed this to us in war time. To protect themselves from betrayal, separation and dispute.
Here's some video how I think we should get over it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBwFqudGac8


well, islam doesn't want to accept a christian guy to date their islam women. What's up with that? ^_^
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Posted 6/29/10

alupihan45 wrote:


Ryutai-Desk wrote:

This is like what happened in India. Where you only can get married with the kasta or class you belong to. Brahma kasta can only be married to another in Brahma kasta. I think it's the same purpose, for purity. If someone in certain class married to another class, they will be expelled.

I think in modern society, we should accept people from different groups, either it's races, ethnic, nations, religions, etc. Without having prejudiced from begin with. Although, it's understandably when our grandparents imposed this to us in war time. To protect themselves from betrayal, separation and dispute.
Here's some video how I think we should get over it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBwFqudGac8


well, islam doesn't want to accept a christian guy to date their islam women. What's up with that? ^_^


It's mostly because of the culture and old traditions that affect the laws for permitting muslim men to marry non-muslim women but not for permitting muslim women to marry non-muslim women.

Allowing a Muslim man to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman, is an exceptional rule applied under special circumstances. And when a Muslim man marries a Christian or a Jewish woman, there is no problem, because he believes in all prophets, and all holy books. There will be no problem between him and his wife in this matter, especially that his religion -Islam- commands him to be fair with his wife even if she were Christian or Jewish. And any Muslim man going through such marriage should have strong belief in his faith, and should strongly abide by his religion.

The reason for forbidding a Muslim woman from marrying a non-Muslim, is that a Christian or a Jewish man believes only in his prophet, and doesn’t believe in prophet Muhammad or any of the other prophets. I might not a right person to say it, though.
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